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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - The Bassoon Incident/Ice Cream Money (S01E01)

"- I'm just trying to help, because I know"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"bassoon players are basically celibate."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I think you got your facts wrong."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- They basically live like monks."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Take it back. - I'm not taking it back."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Bassoon players, they get nothing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Baseball players are swimming in ladies."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Psst, Tom. - Yeah?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This bus driver is literally the coolest guy we know."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"If he says play baseball, you gotta play baseball."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You think he's cool?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hell, yeah, I think he's cool."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I like this kid."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You've got a stage whisper, they call it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You heard all that? - I have sharp ears."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I am the ear equivalent to a sharpshooter assassin."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[crowd cheering]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Let's go, guys. Jimmy, Chris, eye of the tiger!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Stop looking like a fool out there."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Come on! You're making a fool of me!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, coach? - Wh--Tom!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, coach. - Hey, buddy."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Am I in the right place?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, you are obviously in the--Chris!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Would you move back! - Oh, my God."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You are in the right place. You ready?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, these kids seem a little bigger than me."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yes, they're a little big."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Parents hold them back for size advantage, it's fine."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- The pitcher is literally shaving."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I mean, he did drive to the game,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and he's a little hairy. - The kid looks like he's 32."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, I need you to get your uniform together"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and get out there. - Oh, do people tuck it in?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yes, they tuck it in."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I prefer to not tuck, if that's an option."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- [sighs]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Whoo whoo!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Come on, Tom! You can do it, buddy!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God. This old bag again?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm here supporting my son."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I thought you went home and died."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Just ignore the lunatic from the recital, baby."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"She is drunk on chardonnay,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and she is begging to get slapped."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Let's go, kids! Let's go!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Let's go, Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Strike one!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Whoa! Is that--is that legal?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Throwing the ball? Yes."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This kid's a monster."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Whoa! - Strike two!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God. That could have killed me."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That could have killed you. It was pretty fast."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, let's all slow it down,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and uh, let's do this again."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Mm."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Oh, no. Whoops."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What just happened? You okay?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Can I have a quick word?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Uh, yeah, it's not like anything important's happening."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's not a big deal, but I'm gonna need a change of pants."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I can't imagine you have extra pants on you, do you?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What, you don't like the pants you're wearing?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I just pooped-- I just pooped my pants."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I told you he was pitching too fast."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"The whole thing's very stressful."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm used to more of a bassoon atmosphere."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, listen. This happens quite a lot."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"We have a way to handle this kind of situation."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Thank you. I appreciate that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You're outta here! - Wait, what?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Player ejected! - Stop."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Pooped his pants! - He's kidding."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This guy right here pooped his pants!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, I just want to say for the record,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"there was some false reassurance."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's in the rule book."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Rule number 33B, "No player shall defecate"
10-Year-Old-Tom
""his or her uniform"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"or defecate the uniforms of another player.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You're outta here! Take a seat!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- [clapping] You're doing great, Tom!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Don't say a word, lady. Don't you dare say a word."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[bell rings] - Pooped your pants?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Pooped your pants? Tom, this is a disaster!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- People noticed? People noticed that?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Of course they noticed."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"It's all everybody's talking about."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You know what? I'm going to quit."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm going to quit baseball."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You can't quit. You gotta redeem yourself."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Otherwise, this is how people gonna remember you,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and you'll drag me down with you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Hey, little dudes, lean in. - Oh, God."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You can play baseball."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"All you need is a little confidence boost."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- A little juice."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"A little Vitamin S."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I know we leaned in for this, but I'm totally lost."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- A little bit of muscle pop."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I think he's talking about 'roids, Tom."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What, what?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- And I like where this is going."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's right. - I'm not doing steroids."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Come on, man. - I don't want to cheat."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's not cheating if everybody does it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"All the pros do it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I bet even the managers"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"are doing it at this point."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It just sounds very shady. [tires screech]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, you don't have to stop."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This is what we're going to do."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Hide under a seat in the back. - Okay."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- When I drop off that girl with the braces,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"you're free to come out of your hiding spot."
10-Year-Old-Tom
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