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Clips from Mr. Mayor - Sister Cities (S02E02)

coming up people's toilets.

"coming up people's toilets."

Mr. Mayor

Oh. [chuckles]

"Oh. [chuckles]"

Mr. Mayor

Wait, was that my shot?

"Wait, was that my shot?"

Mr. Mayor

That wasn't my shot.

"That wasn't my shot."

Mr. Mayor

That wasn't it. Arpi?

"That wasn't it. Arpi?"

Mr. Mayor

[glass clinks]

"[glass clinks]"

Mr. Mayor

I just want to thank all of you for being here today.

"I just want to thank all of you for being here today."

Mr. Mayor

I always wanted to have a sister,

"I always wanted to have a sister,"

Mr. Mayor

and now I've got six.

"and now I've got six."

Mr. Mayor

[laughs]

"[laughs]"

Mr. Mayor

Right.

"Right."

Mr. Mayor

I want to talk about how we can help each other.

"I want to talk about how we can help each other."

Mr. Mayor

Oh, so true. I mean, think about it.

"Oh, so true. I mean, think about it."

Mr. Mayor

Me and this guy, same height,

"Me and this guy, same height,"

Mr. Mayor

doesn't mean we're going out for the same things.

"doesn't mean we're going out for the same things."

Mr. Mayor

Mate, you ever need a reader, I'm here for you.

"Mate, you ever need a reader, I'm here for you."

Mr. Mayor

[applause]

"[applause]"

Mr. Mayor

Yeah, exactly.

"Yeah, exactly."

Mr. Mayor

There's no reason we shouldn't be sharing resources.

"There's no reason we shouldn't be sharing resources."

Mr. Mayor

Let's talk about transportation.

"Let's talk about transportation."

Mr. Mayor

Don't get me started on transpo.

"Don't get me started on transpo."

Mr. Mayor

[laughter]

"[laughter]"

Mr. Mayor

You know, there is a project I'm really excited

"You know, there is a project I'm really excited"

Mr. Mayor

to help develop, and that's the bullet train.

"to help develop, and that's the bullet train."

Mr. Mayor

The "Bullet Train"? The Brad Pitt movie?

"The "Bullet Train"? The Brad Pitt movie?"

Mr. Mayor

It's out already.

"It's out already."

Mr. Mayor

This guy's crazy.

"This guy's crazy."

Mr. Mayor

I know you guys have honed that technology in Japan.

"I know you guys have honed that technology in Japan."

Mr. Mayor

Oh, my God, is this real? I'm six days sober.

"Oh, my God, is this real? I'm six days sober."

Mr. Mayor

Oh, my--oh, I am so sorry.

"Oh, my--oh, I am so sorry."

Mr. Mayor

Tommy, don't let him leave.

"Tommy, don't let him leave."

Mr. Mayor

We got to be part of this bullet train thing.

"We got to be part of this bullet train thing."

Mr. Mayor

It's too late. That project's over.

"It's too late. That project's over."

Mr. Mayor

It is?

"It is?"

Mr. Mayor

Yeah, you got to read the blogs, guy.

"Yeah, you got to read the blogs, guy."

Mr. Mayor

Susan, thank you for seeing us.

"Susan, thank you for seeing us."

Mr. Mayor

I am well aware of the one-ask policy

"I am well aware of the one-ask policy"

Mr. Mayor

for interoffice romance.

"for interoffice romance."

Mr. Mayor

I respect it. I respect you.

"I respect it. I respect you."

Mr. Mayor

Okay, what happened?

"Okay, what happened?"

Mr. Mayor

Okay, so you know who James Aniobi is, right?

"Okay, so you know who James Aniobi is, right?"

Mr. Mayor

Good face, skin like silk,

"Good face, skin like silk,"

Mr. Mayor

hard to tell under the suit but the bod seems tight.

"hard to tell under the suit but the bod seems tight."

Mr. Mayor

Not okay, but I know who you mean.

"Not okay, but I know who you mean."

Mr. Mayor

Okay, so I went to ask him out once,

"Okay, so I went to ask him out once,"

Mr. Mayor

but I only got, like, 3/4 of the way through

"but I only got, like, 3/4 of the way through"

Mr. Mayor

and we got interrupted.

"and we got interrupted."

Mr. Mayor

I never actually finished the question,

"I never actually finished the question,"

Mr. Mayor

so that doesn't count as my ask, right?

"so that doesn't count as my ask, right?"

Mr. Mayor

Hmm. Interesting.

"Hmm. Interesting."

Mr. Mayor

It was a checked swing, Susan.

"It was a checked swing, Susan."

Mr. Mayor

Her bat did not cross the plate.

"Her bat did not cross the plate."

Mr. Mayor

Ball one. - What exactly did you say?

"Ball one. - What exactly did you say?"

Mr. Mayor

I said, "I'm also free Saturday,

"I said, "I'm also free Saturday,"

Mr. Mayor

and maybe you and I could," and then I got cut off.

"and maybe you and I could," and then I got cut off."

Mr. Mayor

How's that a question?

"How's that a question?"

Mr. Mayor

Her voice didn't go up at the end.

"Her voice didn't go up at the end."

Mr. Mayor

Well, you definitely started asking him out.

"Well, you definitely started asking him out."

Mr. Mayor

But she could've been about to say anything.

"But she could've been about to say anything."

Mr. Mayor

"Maybe you and I could not go to dinner."

""Maybe you and I could not go to dinner.""

Mr. Mayor

"Maybe you and I could each contribute

""Maybe you and I could each contribute"

Mr. Mayor

"to my nephew's school fundraiser.

""to my nephew's school fundraiser."

Mr. Mayor

The arts budget has been slashed."

"The arts budget has been slashed.""

Mr. Mayor

[sighs]

"[sighs]"

Mr. Mayor

Ms. Shaw, your language was vague.

"Ms. Shaw, your language was vague."

Mr. Mayor

And since the other case on my desk is a guy

"And since the other case on my desk is a guy"

Mr. Mayor

who was photographing his female coworkers' bellies

"who was photographing his female coworkers' bellies"

Mr. Mayor

under a conference table and ranking them,

"under a conference table and ranking them,"

Mr. Mayor

I am desperate for any example of positive human interaction.

"I am desperate for any example of positive human interaction."

Mr. Mayor

So you get one more ask.

"So you get one more ask."

Mr. Mayor

- Yes. - Rock and roll.

"- Yes. - Rock and roll."

Mr. Mayor

Was I on that tummy list?

"Was I on that tummy list?"

Mr. Mayor

You won your age group.

"You won your age group."

Mr. Mayor

Oh!

"Oh!"

Mr. Mayor

Hey, keep people out of there.

"Hey, keep people out of there."

Mr. Mayor

The mayor of Nagoya is either taking a shower

"The mayor of Nagoya is either taking a shower"

Mr. Mayor

or running the shower to mask something worse.

"or running the shower to mask something worse."

Mr. Mayor

[phone buzzing]

"[phone buzzing]"

Mr. Mayor

Yeah, Jayden, the mayors are weird.

"Yeah, Jayden, the mayors are weird."

Mr. Mayor

What did you do?

"What did you do?"

Mr. Mayor

Well, they seem normal to me, but you know mayors.

"Well, they seem normal to me, but you know mayors."

Mr. Mayor

Look, I'm sorry I haven't gotten them there yet.

"Look, I'm sorry I haven't gotten them there yet."

Mr. Mayor

Turns out, this vehicle isn't allowed on the highway,

"Turns out, this vehicle isn't allowed on the highway,"

Mr. Mayor

but I did get to meet a motorcycle police lady.

"but I did get to meet a motorcycle police lady."

Mr. Mayor

Wait, what are you talking about?

"Wait, what are you talking about?"

Mr. Mayor

I'm saying that I had to take side streets,

"I'm saying that I had to take side streets,"

Mr. Mayor

which means turning,

"which means turning,"

Mr. Mayor

and this is more of a go-straight car.

"and this is more of a go-straight car."

Mr. Mayor

But the mayors are here.

"But the mayors are here."

Mr. Mayor

Did he just--what the--

"Did he just--what the--"

Mr. Mayor

Ah, chlamydia's not so bad.

"Ah, chlamydia's not so bad."

Mr. Mayor

What you should be worried about is the fact

"What you should be worried about is the fact"

Mr. Mayor

that Y2K did happen and this is all a simulation.

"that Y2K did happen and this is all a simulation."

Mr. Mayor

Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, Jayden, get them here now.

"Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, Jayden, get them here now."

Mr. Mayor

Okay, but if I drive too fast,

"Okay, but if I drive too fast,"

Mr. Mayor

the water's gonna spill out of the hot tub.

"the water's gonna spill out of the hot tub."

Mr. Mayor

You know, I can cry on command

"You know, I can cry on command"

Mr. Mayor

just like Anne Hathaway.

"just like Anne Hathaway."

Mr. Mayor

[both crying]

"[both crying]"

Mr. Mayor

[dramatic music] ♪

"[dramatic music] ♪"

Mr. Mayor

Boy, you know, that mayor looks a lot like the guy

"Boy, you know, that mayor looks a lot like the guy"

Mr. Mayor

from the background of "Riverdale," you know,

"from the background of "Riverdale," you know,"

Mr. Mayor

who became a meme 'cause he did so much pointing.

"who became a meme 'cause he did so much pointing."

Mr. Mayor

Okay, Orly, we have a little situation here.

"Okay, Orly, we have a little situation here."

Mr. Mayor

These aren't mayors.

"These aren't mayors."

Mr. Mayor

They are-- how do you say it in English--

"They are-- how do you say it in English--"

Mr. Mayor

randos, and your father doesn't know,

"randos, and your father doesn't know,"

Mr. Mayor

so you have to tell him. - No way.

"so you have to tell him. - No way."

Mr. Mayor

He'll get all embarrassed,

"He'll get all embarrassed,"

Mr. Mayor

and then he'll be in a bad mood.

"and then he'll be in a bad mood."

Mr. Mayor

And I need him to sign a permission slip

"And I need him to sign a permission slip"

Mr. Mayor

so I can go on a school field trip to Ibiza.

"so I can go on a school field trip to Ibiza."

Mr. Mayor

Veda's dad is Diplo, so... - Okay, well, I need this

"Veda's dad is Diplo, so... - Okay, well, I need this"

Mr. Mayor

to go well so I'll get a 15% raise at the end of the year

"to go well so I'll get a 15% raise at the end of the year"

Mr. Mayor

because I cannot live within my means, Orly.

"because I cannot live within my means, Orly."

Mr. Mayor

Okay, but what are we gonna do?

"Okay, but what are we gonna do?"

Mr. Mayor

I mean, he's gonna find out eventually.

"I mean, he's gonna find out eventually."

Mr. Mayor

Would I crack your back for you?

"Would I crack your back for you?"

Mr. Mayor

- Please? - I guess.

"- Please? - I guess."

Mr. Mayor

Here you go.

"Here you go."

Mr. Mayor

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