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Clips from The Goldbergs - In Conclusion, Thanksgiving (S03E03)

"ADULT ADAM: Back in the '80s,"
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"my mom was obsessed with Thanksgiving."
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"When it came to her cooking, everything had to be perfect."
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"She even made practice turkeys before the big day."
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"Mmm! I need feedback."
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"That's good!"
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"But not great. What?"
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"I'm going again."
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"ADULT ADAM: To my mom, it was a time for family."
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"For my dad, it was a hassle."
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"Why do we got to schlep all the way here to go shopping"
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"when we got a perfectly good market"
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"a minute away from our house?"
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"Well, I thought this time of year,"
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"a change of scenery would..."
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"Oh, look! Murray, there's your father!"
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"What are the odds we'd run into him"
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"in a totally random grocery store?"
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"You got a bag boy to tip you off, didn't you?"
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"So, I have eyes everywhere."
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"What? Does that make me some kind of villain?"
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"Bevy, every year you ask me to invite"
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"that spiteful, miserable man to Thanksgiving."
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"You got to give it up."
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"You're right."
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"He's your father, and I have no right to..."
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"Hi! Ben, look! It's your son, Murray!"
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"You remember Murray."
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"Hi, Dad. How you doing?"
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"My foot's still got that thing. And I need eye surgery."
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"Yeah, good stuff."
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"So, any plans for the holiday, Ben?"
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"BEN: Yeah, I got it right here."
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"This compartment is the stuffing. That's the sweet potatoes."
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"That gray circle, that's the turkey."
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"Come on, wouldn't a home-cooked meal be much better than that?"
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"That depends. You know what happened the last time I ate your cooking."
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"That was right after we got married. That was ages ago."
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"Your turkey was drier than the sun."
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"It was like eating the inside of a vacuum bag filled with pencil shavings."
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"I did not enjoy the meal."
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"You? No."
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"It was the first time I'd ever cooked Thanksgiving by myself."
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"My kids were little. They were hanging all over me."
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"I didn't even have a baster. I was baster-less!"
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"No baster could fix your food crimes."
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"Sorry, pal. You deserve better."
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"Nice seeing you, Dad. BEN: Eh, it was okay."
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"BEVERLY: This is not over."
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"You invite that callous, hurtful man to Thanksgiving right now!"
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"See, I see why you're hocking me all the time to invite him."
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"You just want to show my dad that you're a good cook."
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"The best cook."
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"And family is important and stuff."
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"Well, it's not gonna happen."
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"It's bad enough you invite my moron brother every year."
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"Oh, stop. Marvin's not that bad."
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"Gobble, gobble! Hide your turkeys, ladies!"
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"(BOTH LAUGH) You little muskrat!"
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"(BLOWING) Oh!"
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"Looking good, Uncle Marvin."
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"I'm feeling good. I lost 10 pounds."
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"I gained six, lost four, gained two."
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"Also, your voice is weird."
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"It is. I, I'm hoping this isn't where it lands."
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"(CHUCKLES) That's the spirit."
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"(IN DEEP VOICE) Mur-man!"
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"Ah! Hey!"
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"What's with the, uh, pajamas?"
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"You mean these certified medical scrubs?"
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"As you know, I'm almost a fully licensed chiropractor."
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"Ah. Good. Another one of your half-baked schemes."
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"Schemes? What schemes?"
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"First, you were breeding alpacas."
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"Then you were selling alpaca wool."
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"Then came alpaca burgers."
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"What the hell was I supposed to do with a dozen dead alpacas?"
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"Regardless..."
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"Those were all obvious steps to chiropractology."
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"I don't know if that's the official title."
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"They reveal that to us at graduation."
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"That's something to look forward to."
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"You see that? Negativity."
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"I could take away all of your stress"
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"just with a single (IMITATES CRACKING) crack of your cervical spine."
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"(SCOFFS) No."
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"Come on. Come on! Come on! Aah! No!"
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"I'm serious. Stay away from me."
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"Hey, come over here. Come on. No, no, no, no."
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"Don't struggle. I don't want to break anything. Come on. No. no!"
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"(GRUNTS) Get off me!"
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"This feels dangerous and unsafe!"
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"It is if you fight it!"
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"Oh, I hate Thanksgiving! I hate it so much!"
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"I'm a healer! Let me heal you! Make it stop!"
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"¶ I'm twisted up inside"
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"¶ But nonetheless I feel the need to say"
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"¶ I don't know the future"
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"¶ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ¶"
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"ADULT ADAM: It was November 20th, 1980-something,"
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"and Pops was ready to pass down a Thanksgiving tradition."
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"Erica, guess what. I got something for you."
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"A car?"
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"No. Did you get me a car?"
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"No. Did anyone get a car?"
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"No. What is it with you kids and wanting a car?"
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"It's kind of like, we don't have a car,"
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"but we want one."
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"Like a car."
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"Look, this is even better."
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"I want you to take over the Thanksgiving toast."
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"My grandfather passed it down to me,"
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"and now I pick you."
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"Ha! You have to keep a lame-ass"
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"family tradition alive."
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"You see, that's why I'm picking your sister"
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"'cause she's the heart and soul of this family,"
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"who'll keep this tradition alive."
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"Lies!"
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"I'm the heart, soul,"
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