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Clips from Silicon Valley - Sand Hill Shuffle (S02E02)

"Ah! Fuck. Yeah, it doesn't matter."
Silicon Valley
"Whoa. You okay there, Richard?"
Silicon Valley
"Uh, yeah, I'm fine."
Silicon Valley
"Sorry, I can't really throw it any slower."
Silicon Valley
"Give it another cut, Richard."
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"No, I'm fine. I don't want to."
Silicon Valley
"Maybe someone else wants to. Who's next?"
Silicon Valley
"If someone has to go, I'll go, but it seems very frightening."
Silicon Valley
"You sure? You got us for the whole hour."
Silicon Valley
"- Anyone? - Would it hurt your feelings if no one went?"
Silicon Valley
"Man on P.A.: Ladies and gentlemen,"
Silicon Valley
"welcome to the annual Stern-Taylor fall classic."
Silicon Valley
"I'd like to start by making a toast to our very special guest tonight,"
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"Richard Hendricks."
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"Richard, after your perfect game"
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"at TechCrunch Disrupt a few weeks ago,"
Silicon Valley
"we fell in love with you and your tech."
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"Look, we know everyone in the Valley is after you,"
Silicon Valley
"and we know that you're probably going to go with Peter Gregory,"
Silicon Valley
"but we'd love to have you come play on our team."
Silicon Valley
"Let Stern-Taylor Capital Fund in on your Series A financing,"
Silicon Valley
"because together, Richard, we'd be..."
Silicon Valley
"a home... run!"
Silicon Valley
"- Oh, right. - What do you say, Richard?"
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"I'll... I'll do what I can."
Silicon Valley
"All right."
Silicon Valley
"Have fun, everybody."
Silicon Valley
"I don't know, man. It's starting to feel weird"
Silicon Valley
"letting all these firms suck up to us, even though we're not gonna take their money."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, Peter Gregory hasn't officially given us the term sheet yet."
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"Yes, but he will tomorrow when he gets back."
Silicon Valley
"If you can't enjoy this many people"
Silicon Valley
"kissing our ass at this level,"
Silicon Valley
"then I feel sorry for you."
Silicon Valley
"Would you just relax and take it in for a second?"
Silicon Valley
"I mean, we are getting our dicks sucked at the AT&T Park."
Silicon Valley
"We're standing on the field of the World Series champions."
Silicon Valley
"- It's totally lost on me. - Yeah, I don't give a shit, either."
Silicon Valley
"Hey! I'm Nicole Stein."
Silicon Valley
"I lead the Growth Team at Stern-Taylor."
Silicon Valley
"- Oh, I'm Dinesh. - I'm Gilfoyle."
Silicon Valley
"I love it. So what do you two do at Pied Piper?"
Silicon Valley
"- I'm the CTO. - Ha ha, he's joking. I'm the CTO."
Silicon Valley
"Fuck you, I'm joking."
Silicon Valley
"Okay, how could you be the Chief Technology Officer?"
Silicon Valley
"I get it. You hear the word chief, and you think Indian Chief."
Silicon Valley
"- but you're the other kind of Indian. - Okay. One, Fuck you."
Silicon Valley
"I'm Pakistani. And two, how could you be CTO of anything?"
Silicon Valley
"You have to be able to organize, you have to be able to delegate, and you have to be..."
Silicon Valley
"I delegate you to go get me a fucking beer while I talk to Nicole."
Silicon Valley
"George Silver, operating partner at Stern-Taylor."
Silicon Valley
"So, what do you do at Pied Piper?"
Silicon Valley
"He's the CTO."
Silicon Valley
"That's Drew Houston. We've been circling each other for the last 20 minutes."
Silicon Valley
"Ooh, the Winklevoss twins."
Silicon Valley
"Look at them. They're like two genetically enhanced Ken dolls."
Silicon Valley
"Do you know how much bitcoin they're worth?"
Silicon Valley
"Oh, shit, they're splitting up."
Silicon Valley
"Cameron's the left dominant one, right?"
Silicon Valley
"- I can't tell them apart. - I'm gonna come at him from the right side,"
Silicon Valley
"try and herd them back together without spooking them."
Silicon Valley
"Watch this. Cameron! Cameron!"
Silicon Valley
"- Okay. - Well, well, well, look who's the big swinging dick."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, Javeed, everything okay at Goolybib?"
Silicon Valley
"You gotta ask them. They canned me."
Silicon Valley
"- What? - Yeah, our investors got spooked"
Silicon Valley
"by a possible down round, so they shoved an acquisition down my throat."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, an acquisition of $200 million, right?"
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, they all made out. I had a reverse vest with no triggers,"
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"then I lost all my shares when they fired me."
Silicon Valley
"I blew my whole signing bonus renting that house."
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"I'm looking into suing 'em."
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"- Jeez. - Look, all I can say is,"
Silicon Valley
"don't get fucked, all right?"
Silicon Valley
"You take money from the wrong dudes,"
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"and you'll get smoked as bad as I did."
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"Just be careful. Everyone is watching you now."
Silicon Valley
"Yeah. Totally. I know. Thanks, Javeed."
Silicon Valley
"No, I mean they're watching you right now."
Silicon Valley
"Oh yeah."
Silicon Valley
"Damn it. Where is that camera?"
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"Dinesh: I can't believe how many gifts we're getting."
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"Gilfoyle: Gifts I'm getting."
Silicon Valley
"That Oculus rig is addressed to the CTO."
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"No, I'm the CTO."
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"As your superior, I order you to give me that Oculus."
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"You can't make me do stuff. You're not the boss of me."
Silicon Valley
"- Actually, I am the boss of you. - Okay."
Silicon Valley
"- Richard, tell him I'm CTO. - Dinesh: You already told that fat guy that I'm the CTO."
Silicon Valley
"Stop, stop, stop. Please stop."
Silicon Valley
"I have a ton of work to do. You have work to do."
Silicon Valley
"Maybe let's do the work instead of that."
Silicon Valley
"Jared, we were supposed to get a term sheet today."
Silicon Valley
"Have we heard from Peter Gregory?"
Silicon Valley
"- Peter Gregory is dead. - What?"
Silicon Valley
"Holy shit."
Silicon Valley
"He was the smartest, shrewdest..."
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"strangest man I've ever known."
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"I can't believe that he's gone."
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"Can I asked what happened?"
Silicon Valley
"Yeah. He was..."
Silicon Valley
"in the Serengeti on safari..."
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"- Ah. - and he had just gone into his tent"
Silicon Valley
"when a hippo wandered into the camp."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, wow."
Silicon Valley
"He was attacked by a hippo?"
Silicon Valley
"No, I guess the hippo started to charge"
Silicon Valley
"when the guide grabbed his rifle and shot at it, but..."
Silicon Valley
"his aim was off, and..."
Silicon Valley
"And he shot Peter Gregory by accident?"
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"- Yeah. - No, he... he missed..."
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"but I guess the sound of the gun startled Peter, who..."
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"ran out of his tent and..."
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"Ran right into the hippo?"
Silicon Valley
"No, the hippo was also startled by the noise"
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"and had run off prior to Peter exiting his tent."
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"So, what happened to Peter?"
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"He hadn't run in a long time,"
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"maybe ever, and you know, he just..."
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"That was it."
Silicon Valley
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