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Clips from Archer - The Orpheus Gambit (S11E11)

"‐ [stammering] Wait, what?"
Archer
"‐ That's just an inside joke we had about your coma."
Archer
"I guess you had to be there and not in a coma."
Archer
"Malory: Well, you made it..."
Archer
"two hours late, but you're here."
Archer
"‐ I'm supposed to be here at a time?"
Archer
"‐ We've got a mission tonight, and I want you on it."
Archer
"‐ A mission? So we're really spies again?"
Archer
"‐ Mm‐hmm."
Archer
"‐ A quasi‐independent, freelance"
Archer
"international spy organization."
Archer
"‐ Don't worry about it. ‐ I kind of feel like I should."
Archer
"‐ Well, then still don't."
Archer
"So now that we're all here..."
Archer
"‐ Whoa, wait. What about Lana?"
Archer
"‐ She's doing... advance scouting."
Archer
"‐ Man, I've hardly seen her at all."
Archer
"It would almost seem like she's ducking me."
Archer
"[overlapping mumbles]"
Archer
"‐ Oh, stop it with the portentous mumbles."
Archer
"We had a whole talk about that."
Archer
"The point is, our cover story is that"
Archer
"we're providing security at a museum gala,"
Archer
"but our true mission is a bit more interesting."
Archer
"Cyril?"
Archer
"‐ Well, our true purpose is to‐‐"
Archer
"‐ Wait, why is Cyril talking?"
Archer
"Wh‐‐what is it, best agent in the world gets to talk day"
Archer
"and opposite day simultaneously?"
Archer
"Uh‐huh."
Archer
"‐ We don't do that anymore, Archer."
Archer
"[fabric rips] [grunts]"
Archer
"Jeezy Petes. That keeps happening."
Archer
"The dangers of increased muscle mass, I guess."
Archer
"‐ Hey, steroids aren't the answer"
Archer
"no matter how inadequate you feel and in fact are."
Archer
"‐ The only thing I'm injecting myself with is hard work,"
Archer
"using the syringe of... nope, lost it."
Archer
"Anyhoo..."
Archer
"our target is Peregrine, the world's foremost art thief."
Archer
"He's going to try to steal this statue of weeping Orpheus."
Archer
"We nabbed it from one of his warehouses"
Archer
"to use as bait."
Archer
"Our objective:"
Archer
"apprehend Peregrine and pass him to INTERPOL."
Archer
"‐ Man, you guys are lost without me."
Archer
"He's gonna know that's a ruse."
Archer
"‐ Which is exactly why he'll come."
Archer
"Our psych profile shows a pathological need"
Archer
"to demonstrate superiority."
Archer
"‐ Sound familiar?"
Archer
"‐ He'll show up to try to outsmart us."
Archer
"‐ Nice briefing, Cyril. Super concise."
Archer
"‐ What, you guys are friends now?"
Archer
"Well, I'm spent."
Archer
"And what a better way to celebrate my return"
Archer
"than me escorting all of you to Chez Trop Cher"
Archer
"where I will generously allow you to buy me brunch."
Archer
"‐ Oh, no thank you. ‐ Brunch..."
Archer
"‐ Can you guys take it somewhere else?"
Archer
"New, better Cheryl is trying to get work done."
Archer
"‐ You used to be fun."
Archer
"‐ Yeah, well, your legs used to work."
Archer
"‐ Look, we've been targeting Peregrine for months."
Archer
"This is kind of a huge deal for us."
Archer
"‐ So huge deal like your buddy just got out of a coma,"
Archer
"or huge deal like art theft,"
Archer
"which is basically a victimless crime?"
Archer
"‐ Um... ‐ We've, uh‐‐"
Archer
"we've got stuff to do."
Archer
"‐ Come on, man, we'll hang out soon."
Archer
"I swear, but until then,"
Archer
"maybe chill your balls out just a skosh."
Archer
"‐ Oh, my balls are frosty, okay?"
Archer
"But if you're all too busy and/or stupid"
Archer
"to go with me to brunch, I'll be in my office"
Archer
"when you're ready to apologize."
Archer
"‐ Not sure if this takes the sting out of it,"
Archer
"but you don't actually have an office anymore."
Archer
"‐ Oh, so I'm supposed to hang out where?"
Archer
"In the break room, alone, like a pervert,"
Archer
"wallowing in a miasma of microwaved fish curry"
Archer
"and its subsequent farts."
Archer
"‐ Sometimes you buy too much salmon."
Archer
"‐ What, to attract bears? Did you get that?"
Archer
"There's a double meaning."
Archer
"‐ Yeah, subtle."
Archer
"Anyway, since my time here on Earth is finite,"
Archer
"Krieger wants to see you."
Archer
"‐ Great, the only person with time to hang out"
Archer
"is wanted for ethical violations in nine countries."
Archer
"‐ It's up to ten now. ‐ [sighs]"
Archer
"Well, speaking of crimes against humanity,"
Archer
"how do you fit anything in the fridge"
Archer
"with all of Cyril's proteins anyway?"
Archer
"It's like the last helicopter out of Saigon in there,"
Archer
"but shakes."
Archer
"[ominous music]"
Archer
"♪ ♪"
Archer
"So..."
Archer
"‐ The recently de‐comafied brain"
Archer
"is a complete mystery to science,"
Archer
"like dark matter or why squirrels get so enraged"
Archer
"when they see me naked."
Archer
"‐ Uh‐huh, nodding, no need to explore."
Archer
"‐ So what I want you to do"
Archer
"is remember all of your coma dreams."
Archer
"Put them in your mind."
Archer
"Now...speak."
Archer
"‐ There's so much."
Archer
"First, I was a private detective, right, in a‐‐"
Archer
"[computer beeps] ‐ Yep, that's enough."
Archer
"‐ Really? 'Cause there's kind of a lot."
Archer
"‐ Yep, just needed enough to calibrate your brain waves."
Archer
"Though if you're looking to plumb your psyche"
Archer
"with morally questionable "Flatliners"‐style"
Archer
"experimentation, I'm down to clown."
Archer
"‐ Tempting, but no, especially because for you,"
Archer
"the clown in question is probably John Wayne Gacy."
Archer
"[beeps] ‐ Exactly."
Archer
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