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Clips from Weeds - Release the Hounds (S03E03)

"You married a DEA agent."
Weeds
"Also monumentally stupid."
Weeds
"I would hope that my children could learn from my mistakes."
Weeds
"I'd like my phone back."
Weeds
"No. As I told you before, I have other plans for you."
Weeds
"You're coming with me to the grow house."
Weeds
"Should I be excited about this, or is this punishment?"
Weeds
"This is a way to learn about a business from the ground up, literally."
Weeds
"This is also a way to keep you occupied so you don't go off"
Weeds
"and do something else stupid. Get it?"
Weeds
"Just a little something to say thank you for all your help."
Weeds
"Oh!"
Weeds
"- Look at that. - 90 fucking percent of the vote, baby."
Weeds
"- I'm not gonna answer that. - It might be important."
Weeds
"Everything that's important... is right here in this room."
Weeds
"It's your daughter. Tell her you're busy till tomorrow."
Weeds
"Then we can eat and fuck all day without interruption."
Weeds
"What?"
Weeds
"I can't understand anything that you're say... Stop crying."
Weeds
"Isabelle, stop crying and talk!"
Weeds
"Son of a bitch."
Weeds
"Will you drop the Steel Magnolias bit? He's still breathing."
Weeds
"Why are you such a cunt?"
Weeds
"Please don't use foul language, Isabelle. People will think you weren't raised right."
Weeds
"I wonder why."
Weeds
"Ow! Stop! Ow!"
Weeds
"Stop!"
Weeds
"- Good afternoon, Mrs. Hodes. - Yeah, for who?"
Weeds
"- Is he going to be OK? - He's lucky to be alive."
Weeds
"Animal urine disinfected many of his wounds."
Weeds
"- Animals peed on him? - Apparently, several."
Weeds
"Well, that's somehow perfect."
Weeds
"He's gonna be all right, though, right?"
Weeds
"The initial surgery was successful, but he'll need more."
Weeds
"Then there will be a tremendous amount of rehabilitation needed."
Weeds
"We're looking down a long road here, Mrs. Hodes."
Weeds
"No, not we. Him and you. Not me."
Weeds
"- We are getting a divorce. - So, who should I speak to?"
Weeds
"- There's no one else. - There has to be someone else."
Weeds
"He was an only child. Grandma and Grandpa are dead."
Weeds
"- There's no one else but you. - Well, what about the state?"
Weeds
"I'm sure there must be some lovely, state-funded institutions that will take him."
Weeds
"- Dad. - Oh, God."
Weeds
"Come on! Move it!"
Weeds
"What's going on, Dwight? Just open the gate."
Weeds
"Doug Wilson. Councilman Doug. I'm here every day."
Weeds
"Don't you remember I wore that pompom hat the other day?"
Weeds
"You loved that hat. Yeah, you did."
Weeds
"What? This is letting the air conditioning escape."
Weeds
"The computer says your membership's been revoked."
Weeds
"What? By who?"
Weeds
"I don't know, but it's in red, so it's from pretty high up."
Weeds
"- You have to turn your car around. - No. I'm not moving."
Weeds
"Sullivan Groff and this whole fucking place can kiss my black ass."
Weeds
"- This is so not over. - I'm sorry, sir. I did like your pompom hat."
Weeds
"Save yourself. You're too good for these assholes."
Weeds
"Go get a job you'd be proud of. We'll see who laughs last."
Weeds
"- Conrad, teach him to grow. - This little fucker?"
Weeds
"No, hold up. OK, no, this little fucker steals our shit,"
Weeds
"and I'm supposed to be his mentor?"
Weeds
"Yes, think of it as a Big Brother kind of thing, or Scared Straight."
Weeds
"He needs a positive male influence in his life."
Weeds
"- And I'm the only man you know? - The only real man."
Weeds
"- You think this shit is gonna fly with me? - It's not shit."
Weeds
"You're the best at what you do. I mean that."
Weeds
"Hey, watch this right here. Your mother's smooth as butter."
Weeds
"Not always."
Weeds
"Silas, your only lines are,"
Weeds
""Yes, I'm willing to do anything you say," and, "Thank you for this opportunity.""
Weeds
"So how much are you paying me to baby-sit?"
Weeds
"- Pay you? - That is what I'm doing."
Weeds
"You can't handle him so you're giving him to me to set him straight."
Weeds
"- $10 an hour. - Don't be cheap with me."
Weeds
"The going rate is closer to $15 in the suburbs."
Weeds
"After business is up and running, I'll buy you a Rolex."
Weeds
"Because all black men like a little bling-bling?"
Weeds
"Yes."
Weeds
"Go on."
Weeds
"Make my boy your bitch."
Weeds
"All right, Nancy, you want your boy to be my bitch?"
Weeds
"He'll be my bitch."
Weeds
"Poor guy. Poor wrecked guy."
Weeds
"OK, tell me she gave you a sponge bath."
Weeds
"She soaped it up and then slurped the gobbledygoop."
Weeds
"Blink once for yes, two for no, three for hell yes."
Weeds
"Oh, God!"
Weeds
"Listen, buddy, you don't have to worry about anything."
Weeds
"Buddy Doug here has got your back."
Weeds
"Now, in case you turn into a vegetable,"
Weeds
"I've taken the liberty of drawing up this power of attorney."
Weeds
"You need to sign this now, or your cunt wife will crush the one part of you"
Weeds
"that hasn't already been crushed. All right?"
Weeds
"Just try to work with me here."
Weeds
"Sign your name."
Weeds
"There we go."
Weeds
"OK. Your assets are protected. I speak for you now."
Weeds
"Do you have any assets?"
Weeds
"You got your MILF money coming to you . Nance is back in business."
Weeds
"Conrad's got a grow house three times the size."
Weeds
"Money's flowing in like this morphine in your arm."
Weeds
"Huh."
Weeds
"Just a little while. Share the love?"
Weeds
"Are you out of your fucking mind?"
Weeds
"He might have a disease."
Weeds
"Let's see if there's any clean needles. Then we'll just pull the tube."
Weeds
"Fair enough. I could use a little something. It's so hard to see him like this."
Weeds
"- Think he'll be in pain if we take the drip out? - No, he'll be fine. Right, buddy?"
Weeds
"You are such a good friend. We love you, man."
Weeds
"- What? - Bingo."
Weeds
"Does this mean we can't go to Hawaii?"
Weeds
"No, this means I have to sell the Majestic house,"
Weeds
"and then I have to pay for someone else to take care of the magnificent invalid."
Weeds
"Baby, you can't sell the Majestic house."
Weeds
"What can I do? I need the money."
Weeds
"No, seriously, you can't sell it. The mortgage is held by a dummy corporation."
Weeds
"You can live in it for as long as you want, but if you try to sell it, the jig's up."
Weeds
"- You'll go to jail for accepting a bribe. - Shit."
Weeds
"Can you sell it for me?"
Weeds
"- I thought Dean was out of your life. - He was."
Weeds
"Until the handitard went and drove off of a cliff."
Weeds
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