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Clips from Cheers - One for the Book (S01E01)

"No, it's bimbo, not bambo,"
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"and l'm not one. But you are."
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"Attractive. Yeah, attractive."
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"What a great girl!"
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"Sam, is she taken?"
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"Only with herself."
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"One drink in four hours. ls that called nursing it?"
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"No, that's called bringing it back from the dead."
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"l hate to admit it but Carla just got in the book."
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"l always say, ''Nurse a drink, starve a bartender.''"
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"Excuse me, Sam."
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"Smite me again, barkeep!"
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"- Sure you want another one? - Yes, l'm rather enjoying myself."
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"OK, l'll make this one weaker. No charge for the water."
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"You needn't worry."
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"l know l'm a novice drinker, but l've only had one since l got here."
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"l'm not ready for the lampshade yet."
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"Excuse me."
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"You know, Sam, that Kevin'll make a great monk. He's got a good attitude."
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"- Diane? - Yes?"
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"l want you!"
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"Diane, are you OK?"
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"l'm OK. l'm fine. l'd like to go freshen up a bit."
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"Absolutely. You OK?"
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"Lafayette, we are here!"
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"Here's a little-known fact. Most of you probably assume"
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"basketball was invented in the US, right?"
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"James Naismith, Springfield College."
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"Good thing l showed up tonight."
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"Basketball was invented thousands of years ago"
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"by the Mayans. They played it for centuries."
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"- ls that true? - Sure."
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"Watch me get the Coach on it."
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"Coach. Got a question for you. Who invented basketball?"
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"- The Mayans. - Where did you hear that?"
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"How do l know? Must've been a Mayan in here bragging about it."
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"Buy 'em, Sammy. Comeback time, let's go."
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"Can l have your attention?"
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"l've been drinking all evening. Now l have something to say."
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"lt's down the hall to the left."
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"First, l'd like to make a public apology"
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"to the young lady l insulted earlier. l lost my head."
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"- Don't worry about it. - Apology accepted, Kevin."
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"Second, may l thank you all for helping me see the light."
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"lt is clear now l am not fit for the monastery."
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"l succumb too easily to the pleasures of the flesh."
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"That's OK. Don't worry about it."
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"Tonight..."
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"Tonight has proven that l belong here, in a bar,"
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"drinking booze with seedy degenerates,"
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"and getting slapped around by cheap dames."
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"Kevin, it's our pleasure."
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"l'm gonna give you a real man's drink. Coffee."
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"- Coffee? Men drink that? - Men who've had too much to drink."
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"- OK, Norm, pay up. - Whaddaya say?"
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"Double or nothing on the highlights?"
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"- Sam, any of my squad check in? - Not yet, Buzz."
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"Maybe l won't wait for 'em."
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"Send me back a ginger ale."
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"Sam, l want a drink only men drink, something that makes women sick."
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"l'll give you some more coffee."
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"No, l want something stronger."
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"l'll give you yesterday's coffee."
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"Kevin..."
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"lt's a big day ahead. How will you feel, entering a monastery hungover?"
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"l'm serious, Sam. l'm not going."
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"- Kevin, you're drunk. - l am?"
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"Believe me, l know what l'm talkin' about."
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"What about your calling, Kevin?"
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"l never had a calling. l talked myself into believing that."
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"l've always been an ordinary person. l thought it'd make me special."
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"He's discovered forever is a long time to go between hayrides."
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"You're gonna turn your back on God because of sex?"
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"Believe me, sex is not that important."
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"Well, it's not!"
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"Can sex make stars,"
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"or a tree or a rainbow?"
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"Can sex make an ocean or a newborn baby?"
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"Forget that one."
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"l know just what she means. l once had a religious experience"
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"just watching a hummingbird, hovering next to a flower."
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"lt's almost impossible to imagine something hanging in mid-air so long."
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"l guess you never saw one of my curve balls."
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"You all think a man can't change his life in one evening. But l have."
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"l wanna be a regular guy."
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"l wanna arm wrestle and tell crude jokes"
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"and spit on the floor."
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"And l wanna dance with cheap women."
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"Carla, let's dance."
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"Put that in your notebook, l break your fingers."
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"Kevin, sit down for a second."
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"l wanna dance. l'm having the time of my life. l don't want it to end."
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"That doesn't even work."
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"lt doesn't? Well, then..."
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"- l thought you said it was broken. - lt it. lt was. For twenty years."
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"My God!"
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"Kevin, you realise what this means?"
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"l've healed a piano?"
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"lt's a miracle or something."
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"Wait, miracles don't happen. Are you sure it was broken?"
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"Yes. The motor was rusted solid."
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"How could this happen?"
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"Maybe something or somebody's"
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"trying to tell you what to do with your life."
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"Get into piano repair."
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"No, wait a minute. What are you trying to say?"
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"Kevin, you said you're an ordinary person."
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"Maybe you're not. Maybe you have a direction."
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"- You might as well try and find out. - You're right."
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"l've come too far to let one night in a fleshpot change my whole life."
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"- Yes. - Thank you."
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"- Thank you. - You're welcome."
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"- Thank you. - Hey, kid, alright!"
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"Thank you."
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"You're welcome!"
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"Good night, Kev!"
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"- Bye, Kevin. - See you in church!"
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"Good night."
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"Boy, that was inspiring!"
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"- Sam, did you get that piano fixed? - No, l didn't... Did you?"
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