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Clips from Man with a Plan (2016) - Holey War (S01E01)

"Okay, so get this. The kids brushed their teeth"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"and went straight to bed."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"I think somebody replaced 'em with Pod People."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"I mean, I'm gonna miss 'em,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"but I am not complaining. (chuckles)"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"You're welcome."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Oh, you're taking credit for this?"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Yes, I am."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Because after school today,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"your kids were out of control."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Our living room was like the first 15 minutes"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"of Saving Private Ryan."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Okay, so they're my kids when they do something wrong?"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Yeah, or when they're in a school play."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Yeah, three hours"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"of watching Emme be a tree in The Wizard of Oz."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"The witch said, "I'm melting.""
Man with a Plan (2016)
"I was like, "Take me with you.""
Man with a Plan (2016)
"That's like Club Med compared to what I dealt with today."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"While I was on the phone with a client,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"the kids decided to have a Nerf dart shootout."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Katie nails me in the face, right?"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"And I open my mouth in surprise, as you do."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Right? Teddy rolls by on his skateboard"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"and shoots one down my throat."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"I coughed up the foam part,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"but the rubber tip is still inside me somewhere."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Oh, honey."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Yeah, well, it won't happen again"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"because I handled it."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"The way you kids behaved today"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"was completely unacceptable, okay?"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"So from now on, there will be no"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"skateboards, no Nerf wars,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"no monkey business in the house."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"What's a monkey's business?"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"It's an old person word for fun."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"He's trying to ban fun."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"That's exactly right, Katie."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"I'm banning fun."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"So until further notice, all of these..."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"will go in the off-limits cubby."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"ALL: No!"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"All right, get in there."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"I really wish that had a door on it."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"God, I wonder why they were so wound up?"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Oh, you know what? It rained today"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"so they didn't have recess."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"That always makes 'em a little crazy."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"They seemed fine after school at the ice cream place."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"You took 'em for ice cream?"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Yeah, well, you know I like ice cream."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"And if I want to eat it, I got buy them some."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"What difference does it make?"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"I'm just trying to figure out why they were so nuts."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Well, it doesn't matter why. I handled it. Okay,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"but you didn't take everything into consideration."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Look,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"different situations"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"require different reactions."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Like if it were me,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"I would have taken 'em to the park,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"let 'em run it out."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"You know, like dogs."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Nah."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Yelling and taking stuff away,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"that's my move."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Okay, but..."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"now that you're home with the kids more,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"you might want to expand your playbook."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"I don't think so."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"I have one move."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"My dad had one move."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"My dad's dad had one move."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"And that one move"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"won two world wars."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Trust me, we didn't take the Germans"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"to the park and let 'em run it out."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"I'm telling you, if you put two round hot tubs"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"at the end of a long pool,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"from the second story balcony,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"you're gonna get a very..."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"masculine view."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"If you know what I'm sayin'."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"(chuckling): Yeah. Yeah, okay."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"I will take care of it."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"All right, bye."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"(chuckling): Gee."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Hey. Hey, how was your day?"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"How were the kids?"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"They were fantastic."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Listen to the sound..."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"(whispers): of silence."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Huh?"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"My one move-- the perfect move--"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"is still working."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"In fact, it's so good, I named it:"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"The Velvet Hammer."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Um,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"isn't that the name of the gay bar"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"by the ice cream shop?"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"It doesn't matter where the name came from."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"That's what I'm calling it."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Mm-kay, well,"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"good for you, honey. Mm-kay."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"(clunking)"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"What was that?"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"I don't know, but it better not be fun."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Something happened in here."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"It's quiet."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"A little too quiet."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"And empty."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"A little too empty."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"And that rug"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"is on the wall."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"A little too on the wall."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Are you done, Columbo?"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"It's so fun, though."
Man with a Plan (2016)
"(both gasping)"
Man with a Plan (2016)
"Oh, my God, your kids put a hole in the wall."
Man with a Plan (2016)
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