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Clips from Modern Family (2009) - Patriot Games (S06E06)

"There's a higher one for the glasses"
Modern Family (2009)
"And a lower one for the pots and the pans."
Modern Family (2009)
"Hey, don't get cocky. [ chuckles ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"When we started studying for this,"
Modern Family (2009)
"You thought the secretary of defense job"
Modern Family (2009)
"Was to guard "da fence." [ chuckles ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"Gloria's about to take her citizenship test."
Modern Family (2009)
"This little jumping bean's about to become an american."
Modern Family (2009)
"Jumping beans are mexican."
Modern Family (2009)
"Once you're an american, you won't see the difference."
Modern Family (2009)
"I got you a little gift to celebrate."
Modern Family (2009)
"Aww."
Modern Family (2009)
"I know it's not much."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's practically nothing."
Modern Family (2009)
"It's america. It's fun."
Modern Family (2009)
"Aww, thank you, jay. I'm so excited."
Modern Family (2009)
"Do you know that once I pass, I can serve on a jury?"
Modern Family (2009)
"They still use the electric chair, right?"
Modern Family (2009)
"[ door opens, closes ] we're back."
Modern Family (2009)
"Hola, javier."
Modern Family (2009)
"How was "take your son to not work" day?"
Modern Family (2009)
"How was life before radio?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Ah. [ clicks tongue ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"Manny told me about your plans"
Modern Family (2009)
"To abandon your colombian roots."
Modern Family (2009)
"Really? You're gonna lecture me on abandonment?"
Modern Family (2009)
"You left to buy some diapers, and I saw you four years later."
Modern Family (2009)
"If only you could let that go as easily as your homeland."
Modern Family (2009)
"Are they fighting or falling back in love?"
Modern Family (2009)
"[ stammering ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"...C-cow!"
Modern Family (2009)
"Cow? Cow?!"
Modern Family (2009)
"The woman who is abandoning her country"
Modern Family (2009)
"Cannot remember the spanish word for cow."
Modern Family (2009)
"It slipped my mind. [ laughs ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"Vaca."
Modern Family (2009)
"There's a taco truck parked outside my office."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, it looks like you both have the same gym grade,"
Modern Family (2009)
"But I do see here that neither of you"
Modern Family (2009)
"Have completed this semester's mile run."
Modern Family (2009)
"We were at a debate tournament."
Modern Family (2009)
"Which we won, thanks to me. Oh, please."
Modern Family (2009)
"After your long-winded summation on euthanasia,"
Modern Family (2009)
"People wanted to kill themselves."
Modern Family (2009)
"Enough. We will do a makeup race."
Modern Family (2009)
"And whoever wins gets to be valedictorian."
Modern Family (2009)
"You're on. This is crazy."
Modern Family (2009)
"Are we all so obsessed with being number one"
Modern Family (2009)
"That we can't just celebrate this moment?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah, I mean, it's the end of their senior year."
Modern Family (2009)
"They're both into great colleges."
Modern Family (2009)
"They should be off celebrating, playing hookey,"
Modern Family (2009)
"Going up to the lake house to go skinny-dipping"
Modern Family (2009)
"With their friend's older brother who's home from college."
Modern Family (2009)
"Let's -- let's keep this general, claire. Okay. Yeah."
Modern Family (2009)
"The point is these are two amazing kids."
Modern Family (2009)
"We should be celebrating them both. Mm-hmm."
Modern Family (2009)
"Mm, we're not surprised you would think that."
Modern Family (2009)
"Great. Wait. What?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Every parent wants to believe"
Modern Family (2009)
"That their child can compete with sanjay."
Modern Family (2009)
"But alex can compete with sanjay."
Modern Family (2009)
"That's why we're here."
Modern Family (2009)
"Sanjay was forming full sentences at 13 months."
Modern Family (2009)
"Alex had a poem published in highlights magazine"
Modern Family (2009)
"When she was 5 years old."
Modern Family (2009)
"It was called "mr. Lamb buys a ham.""
Modern Family (2009)
"But really, it was about the holocaust."
Modern Family (2009)
"Hmm. When he was 16,"
Modern Family (2009)
"Sanjay was the highest-ranked chess player in the state."
Modern Family (2009)
"When alex was 15,"
Modern Family (2009)
"She discovered a mistake in our taxes."
Modern Family (2009)
"We owed a lot more money than I realized. Hmm."
Modern Family (2009)
"Yes, we're very impressed with how much alex"
Modern Family (2009)
"Has been able to accomplish, given her background."
Modern Family (2009)
"You know what? You're right."
Modern Family (2009)
"Let's settle this out on the track."
Modern Family (2009)
"All right, coach tucker,"
Modern Family (2009)
"I'm assuming we can count on you to officiate."
Modern Family (2009)
"Well, now, normally,"
Modern Family (2009)
"I don't like to be the center of attention."
Modern Family (2009)
"That's fine. I'll get someone else. I said I would do it."
Modern Family (2009)
"Alex's uncle cannot possibly be considered an impartial judge."
Modern Family (2009)
"I'm the gym teacher."
Modern Family (2009)
"Who else has the training to oversee this?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Anyone with a stopwatch?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay, you know what? No need to humiliate me."
Modern Family (2009)
"May the best child win."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, she will. Ah."
Modern Family (2009)
"[ chuckles ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"Consider this moment gauntleted."
Modern Family (2009)
"[ groans ] is that a word?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Hold your head up like it is."
Modern Family (2009)
"Vocabulary's mostly a matter of confidence."
Modern Family (2009)
"I love that we're getting involved. Yeah, me, too."
Modern Family (2009)
"I think we're really gonna send a strong message to whomever"
Modern Family (2009)
"To stop doing whatever it is he or she is doing."
Modern Family (2009)
"Oh, like "shame" doesn't cover 1,000 different things?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Okay. Where is everybody?"
Modern Family (2009)
"[ scoffs ] so like the gays to no-show."
Modern Family (2009)
"Yeah, right?"
Modern Family (2009)
"Is there a sale at barney's that nobody told us about?"
Modern Family (2009)
"[ both laugh ]"
Modern Family (2009)
"Seriously, is there? I don't know."
Modern Family (2009)
"Longinus and jotham do this all the time."
Modern Family (2009)
"I've dealt with it in elite competitions."
Modern Family (2009)