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Clips from NewsRadio - Smoking (S01E01)

Then, at approximately 1:15 a.m.,

"Then, at approximately 1:15 a.m.,"

NewsRadio

the police took the husband to examine the damage,

"the police took the husband to examine the damage,"

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and that was when then the husband realized

"and that was when then the husband realized"

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that the wife had been the one who set the fire.

"that the wife had been the one who set the fire."

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Fascinating story.

"Fascinating story."

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Yes, it is, Matthew,

"Yes, it is, Matthew,"

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but in the interest

"but in the interest"

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of keeping these meetings short,

"of keeping these meetings short,"

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why don't we save your dream analysis

"why don't we save your dream analysis"

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for another time?

"for another time?"

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Okay, well, I guess that is it now.

"Okay, well, I guess that is it now."

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Oh, I'm sorry, except for this.

"Oh, I'm sorry, except for this."

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I have to read this for everyone.

"I have to read this for everyone."

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In accordance with New York state ordinance 435a

"In accordance with New York state ordinance 435a"

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regarding secondhand smoke,

"regarding secondhand smoke,"

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this is now officially a nonsmoking office.

"this is now officially a nonsmoking office."

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Hallelujah.

"Hallelujah."

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Now, I know that this is going to be hard

"Now, I know that this is going to be hard"

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for some of us.

"for some of us."

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I'm sorry, Bill.

"I'm sorry, Bill."

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Whatever.

"Whatever."

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What about me, Dave?

"What about me, Dave?"

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I--I didn't realize that you smoked.

"I--I didn't realize that you smoked."

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Well, I don't inhale or anything, you know,

"Well, I don't inhale or anything, you know,"

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but I can blow it through my nose.

"but I can blow it through my nose."

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Well, good for you.

"Well, good for you."

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Um, I think this is going to be healthier for all of us,

"Um, I think this is going to be healthier for all of us,"

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because as the ordinance states,

"because as the ordinance states,"

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secondhand smoke has been proven to have carcinogenic effects.

"secondhand smoke has been proven to have carcinogenic effects."

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Well, duh.

"Well, duh."

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Who didn't know that?

"Who didn't know that?"

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Wake up, people.

"Wake up, people."

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Tell you what. I'm just going... to post this over here.

"Tell you what. I'm just going... to post this over here."

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You can all read it at your leisure,

"You can all read it at your leisure,"

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and Bill, can I talk to you about those station promos?

"and Bill, can I talk to you about those station promos?"

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What have you got, chief?

"What have you got, chief?"

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Uh, well, we're going to do

"Uh, well, we're going to do"

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three five-second station IDs,

"three five-second station IDs,"

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and then three full 15-second promos

"and then three full 15-second promos"

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over an audio bed.

"over an audio bed."

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Now, I'd like to have you and Catherine trading off.

"Now, I'd like to have you and Catherine trading off."

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Sounds good.

"Sounds good."

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We should also try

"We should also try"

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one clean 15-second pop without the audio bed.

"one clean 15-second pop without the audio bed."

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Bill, what are you doing?

"Bill, what are you doing?"

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Oh. Sorry.

"Oh. Sorry."

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How rude of me.

"How rude of me."

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No. No, thank you, Bill.

"No. No, thank you, Bill."

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Uh, did you hear the announcement

"Uh, did you hear the announcement"

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I made at the meeting just now?

"I made at the meeting just now?"

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Well, to tell the truth, Dave,

"Well, to tell the truth, Dave,"

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I tend to zone out unless my name is mentioned.

"I tend to zone out unless my name is mentioned."

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Why, was it something important?

"Why, was it something important?"

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Uh, well, yeah, Bill.

"Uh, well, yeah, Bill."

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Yeah, it was kind of important.

"Yeah, it was kind of important."

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[COUGHING]

"[COUGHING]"

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I'm on it, Matthew.

"I'm on it, Matthew."

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Yeah, it was kind of important.

"Yeah, it was kind of important."

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[COUGHING]

"[COUGHING]"

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I'm on it, Matthew.

"I'm on it, Matthew."

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Bill, we're now officially a nonsmoking office.

"Bill, we're now officially a nonsmoking office."

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What you're doing is punishable

"What you're doing is punishable"

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by a $100 fine.

"by a $100 fine."

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You're kidding.

"You're kidding."

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No, I'm not kidding.

"No, I'm not kidding."

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Oh, come on.

"Oh, come on."

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Bill, that's not how it's supposed to work.

"Bill, that's not how it's supposed to work."

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Now, just put that out.

"Now, just put that out."

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Is that decaf?

"Is that decaf?"

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No, no, it's regular.

"No, no, it's regular."

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[♪]

"[♪]"

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The caps lock just won't come off, right,

"The caps lock just won't come off, right,"

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so everything I type is in all Caps.

"so everything I type is in all Caps."

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All right. I've seen this before.

"All right. I've seen this before."

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go like this, then, uh...

"go like this, then, uh..."

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Now try it.

"Now try it."

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Yeah. Well, thanks, Fonzie.

"Yeah. Well, thanks, Fonzie."

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Uh, yeah. I think the caps lock did come off there

"Uh, yeah. I think the caps lock did come off there"

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just before the screen went blank.

"just before the screen went blank."

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Anytime.

"Anytime."

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Oh, that's great.

"Oh, that's great."

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Oh. Hi, Joe.

"Oh. Hi, Joe."

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Hey. Hey. Hey.

"Hey. Hey. Hey."

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Uh, we need to talk. Can I close this?

"Uh, we need to talk. Can I close this?"

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Oh, sure.

"Oh, sure."

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Hi. Hi.

"Hi. Hi."

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We have to have a real talk.

"We have to have a real talk."

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Oh. Okay.

"Oh. Okay."

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Then I better open this door.

"Then I better open this door."

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I don't want people to think

"I don't want people to think"

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we're doing anything in here...

"we're doing anything in here..."

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especially if we aren't.

"especially if we aren't."

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Dave, I was right.

"Dave, I was right."

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Joe definitely saw us at the movies last night.

"Joe definitely saw us at the movies last night."

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He's been acting like that all morning.

"He's been acting like that all morning."

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Like what?

"Like what?"

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Like that. Like "Hey, hey, hey."

"Like that. Like "Hey, hey, hey.""

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Well, I've been with him for about 15 minutes.

"Well, I've been with him for about 15 minutes."

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He hasn't "hey, heyed" me.

"He hasn't "hey, heyed" me."

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I think maybe you're just being paranoid.

"I think maybe you're just being paranoid."

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Oh, I'm paranoid?

"Oh, I'm paranoid?"

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I'm not the one that wears a stupid hat

"I'm not the one that wears a stupid hat"

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every time he goes out

"every time he goes out"

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so he won't be recognized.

"so he won't be recognized."

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Look, there's nothing stupid about that hat.

"Look, there's nothing stupid about that hat."

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A lot of people wear hats like that.

"A lot of people wear hats like that."

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Name one.

"Name one."

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Well, Woody Allen, for one.

"Well, Woody Allen, for one."

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So, what, that means I'm like Soon Yi to you?

"So, what, that means I'm like Soon Yi to you?"

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No. No, look, He wore that hat when he was with Mia too.

"No. No, look, He wore that hat when he was with Mia too."

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Mia?

"Mia?"

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Yes.

"Yes."

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Here you go, chief.

"Here you go, chief."

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Did a little punch-up on those promos.

"Did a little punch-up on those promos."

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Well, I consider this situation

"Well, I consider this situation"

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a potentially volatile one,

"a potentially volatile one,"

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and I suggest you do the same.

"and I suggest you do the same."

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College girls.

"College girls."

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Look, Bill, I hope you're enjoying that cigarette,

"Look, Bill, I hope you're enjoying that cigarette,"

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Because it is your last.

"Because it is your last."

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