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Clips from Upload - Update Eve (S01E01)

"Bye, Viv."
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"Okay, what are our other options?"
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"I could give Sam a roll in the hay."
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"He only hinted at it five times."
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"Ew, Mom, no."
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"What about Jamie? He must have money."
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"Even as a loan."
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"He's not returning my calls."
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"I don't understand that. He was your best friend."
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"Well, one thing's for sure."
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"You can't break up with Ingrid until you have a plan."
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"I have to, okay. I'm not a gigolo."
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"I'm trying to act with some integrity."
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"Screw integrity."
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"I was about to sleep with a lawyer to keep you alive."
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"Sorry."
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"Integrity is cool."
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"Jamie Arpaz."
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"- This is Jamie. - You know what to do."
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"Bro, um..."
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"I hate to bring this up, but I'm pretty much"
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"the Lakeview equivalent of homeless."
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"And somehow you ended up with our whole company."
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"I'm not saying that you fucked me, but, um..."
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"I could use a hand."
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"So call me back, all right? I need to talk."
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"Not sure where you are right now."
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"Maybe you go somewhere tropical for Winter Weekend."
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"You've come a long way in a short time."
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"Just... call your old partner."
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"You didn't like it? No?"
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"Hi. Would you care for some pigs in a blanket?"
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"- No, thanks. - Really? It's my specialty."
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"- Pigs in a blanket? - No, thank you."
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"Really? Okay."
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"Wow."
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"Hey."
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"Good, you're here."
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"Ah."
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"Hey, you like my scarf?"
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"Probably cost five mil for the drapes alone."
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"They're not real, idiot."
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"- Where's Ingrid? - She's not here?"
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"- Have you told her? - Not yet."
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"Greetings, Lakeview residents and honored guests,"
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"who we hope will someday be Lakeview residents."
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"But maybe not too soon."
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"To celebrate the update/Winter party,"
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"we will have an egg hunt."
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"Yes!"
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"Mm-hmm."
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"Yes! Yes!"
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"There is an egg hidden somewhere here in Lakeview,"
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"and whoever finds it will get a million Lakeview bucks"
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"and a thousand real bucks"
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"- for their angel. - Whoo!"
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"No cheating, Angels!"
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"We'll know."
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"So, go on, find that egg."
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"Where could it be?"
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"Did you look under the table?"
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"Motherfucker, move!"
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"I have student loans, and Pence University"
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"wants their money, go!"
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"- Split up? - If I find this,"
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"I can be your sugar daddy,"
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"and you can get off Ingrid's account."
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"My sugar daddy?"
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"Nothing weird, I just don't know a better term for it."
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"I'm gonna look out by the lake."
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"- I have a hunch. - All right, all right."
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"Uh, I'll check the lounge."
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"Mom, Uncle Larry, let's find this thing."
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"- Yeah. - All right, go, go, go."
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"There you go."
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"I got it!"
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"Oh, it's a fucking football."
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"Mom, wish me luck."
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"If I were an egg, where would I be?"
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"Keep looking."
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"♪ ♪"
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"Pigs in a blanket?"
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"Do you guys want some pigs in a blanket?"
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"Will you eat a pigs in a blanket?"
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"Hey."
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"Ah... whew."
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"Huh, more of that."
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"Yeah, in a, in a sec."
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"Oh. Oh, okay."
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"What the hell, man? I know we fought about"
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"where to take the business, but, I mean,"
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"why are my memories deleted?"
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"W-Why are you avoiding me?"
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"Did you cut some kind of deal to push me out"
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"so you could sell the company to Freeyond?"
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"Did you fucking murder me?"
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"I didn't murder you."
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"I hooked up with your girl,"
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"but I didn't murder you, that's crazy."
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"Whoa, whoa, wait. What?"
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"You hate Ingrid."
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"Yeah."
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"I'm-I'm sorry."
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"One night, I went over to her place"
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"and-and stayed over."
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"Then she came to her senses and threw me out."
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"Dude..."
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"I know! I know."
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"Damn."
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"I fucked up."
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"If I didn't need a loan so bad,"
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"I'd have hung up by now."
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"Look, I got three grand in the bank."
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"I was gonna upgrade our servers, and we fucking need it,"
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"but I'll give it to you."
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"Yeah? Okay."
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"I can live in 2Gig for a couple months with that."
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"We're not even, though."
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"I know. I'm sorry."
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"I've been feeling really guilty"
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