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Clips from Girls5eva - Returnity (S02E02)

Ruth Bader Ginsburg, #SupportTheTroops, #BodyGoPow."

"Ruth Bader Ginsburg, #SupportTheTroops, #BodyGoPow.""

Girls5eva

- Mm-mm. Hate 'em both.

"- Mm-mm. Hate 'em both."

Girls5eva

Why don't you just be honest?

"Why don't you just be honest?"

Girls5eva

Say, "Tell me how cute I am, and it will

"Say, "Tell me how cute I am, and it will"

Girls5eva

temporarily make me feel good."

"temporarily make me feel good.""

Girls5eva

- So simple.

"- So simple."

Girls5eva

Honesty.

"Honesty."

Girls5eva

As always, I'm doing too much.

"As always, I'm doing too much."

Girls5eva

- Or just say, "Is a hot dog a sandwich?"

"- Or just say, "Is a hot dog a sandwich?""

Girls5eva

And people go nuts debating about it.

"And people go nuts debating about it."

Girls5eva

Well, I mean, in my school, it's a vegetable, but--

"Well, I mean, in my school, it's a vegetable, but--"

Girls5eva

- Wow, you're like if Anaheim was a person.

"- Wow, you're like if Anaheim was a person."

Girls5eva

- Well, you ain't gotta sweet talk me, I'm right here.

"- Well, you ain't gotta sweet talk me, I'm right here."

Girls5eva

- Oh, I'm stuffed.

"- Oh, I'm stuffed."

Girls5eva

This was fun.

"This was fun."

Girls5eva

- Neither is true.

"- Neither is true."

Girls5eva

You know, you lie a lot. - What?

"You know, you lie a lot. - What?"

Girls5eva

- You lie a lot.

"- You lie a lot."

Girls5eva

- No, I just--

"- No, I just--"

Girls5eva

I'm still out of sorts about

"I'm still out of sorts about"

Girls5eva

Ruth Bader Ginsburg's assassination.

"Ruth Bader Ginsburg's assassination."

Girls5eva

Will they ever catch him?

"Will they ever catch him?"

Girls5eva

[upbeat music]

"[upbeat music]"

Girls5eva

* *

"* *"

Girls5eva

- For your budge, this apart is a barg.

"- For your budge, this apart is a barg."

Girls5eva

- It's so quiet. - [laughs]

"- It's so quiet. - [laughs]"

Girls5eva

- They're on the hook. Do your Kev-surements.

"- They're on the hook. Do your Kev-surements."

Girls5eva

- Uh, the living room is five shimmy shimmy pops

"- Uh, the living room is five shimmy shimmy pops"

Girls5eva

by seven body rolls.

"by seven body rolls."

Girls5eva

Ah, as a celebrity realtor, people really expect...

"Ah, as a celebrity realtor, people really expect..."

Girls5eva

* All that jazz *

"* All that jazz *"

Girls5eva

It's not the original tune, so I don't have to pay anyone.

"It's not the original tune, so I don't have to pay anyone."

Girls5eva

- Hey, does this place have a bathtub?

"- Hey, does this place have a bathtub?"

Girls5eva

- That is a great question.

"- That is a great question."

Girls5eva

I love that question.

"I love that question."

Girls5eva

Um, the answer is...

"Um, the answer is..."

Girls5eva

I don't know.

"I don't know."

Girls5eva

I saw a picture, and I brought you here,

"I saw a picture, and I brought you here,"

Girls5eva

and--and all I know is what you know.

"and--and all I know is what you know."

Girls5eva

I don't--I-I'm not even sure where we are right now.

"I don't--I-I'm not even sure where we are right now."

Girls5eva

- Hey, why don't you and I go find the bathroom?

"- Hey, why don't you and I go find the bathroom?"

Girls5eva

- Good call, babe.

"- Good call, babe."

Girls5eva

- Ex-babe. - Ex-babe. Hah.

"- Ex-babe. - Ex-babe. Hah."

Girls5eva

So do we have a deal?

"So do we have a deal?"

Girls5eva

- Oh, well, we'll see.

"- Oh, well, we'll see."

Girls5eva

I'm curious what your Kev-surements are in feet.

"I'm curious what your Kev-surements are in feet."

Girls5eva

- [laughs] - So I'll check that out.

"- [laughs] - So I'll check that out."

Girls5eva

- Sure. Oh, whoopsie.

"- Sure. Oh, whoopsie."

Girls5eva

Huh. Who's June?

"Huh. Who's June?"

Girls5eva

- Gloria, I took the liberty of putting

"- Gloria, I took the liberty of putting"

Girls5eva

my number in your phone.

"my number in your phone."

Girls5eva

- * Wanting, yearning *

"- * Wanting, yearning *"

Girls5eva

* Remembering sexual *

"* Remembering sexual *"

Girls5eva

- June is Gay Pride Month.

"- June is Gay Pride Month."

Girls5eva

- What's that phone number? - Ah, nah, kid. [chuckles]

"- What's that phone number? - Ah, nah, kid. [chuckles]"

Girls5eva

These are my go-to Powerball numbers.

"These are my go-to Powerball numbers."

Girls5eva

- Mm, no, the Powerball is five numbers

"- Mm, no, the Powerball is five numbers"

Girls5eva

plus one for the Powerball.

"plus one for the Powerball."

Girls5eva

I know because all my life plans

"I know because all my life plans"

Girls5eva

hinged on winning the lottery.

"hinged on winning the lottery."

Girls5eva

I saw your face, Gloria.

"I saw your face, Gloria."

Girls5eva

I've seen that face on my face.

"I've seen that face on my face."

Girls5eva

You're having sneaky thoughts.

"You're having sneaky thoughts."

Girls5eva

- You don't know what you're talking about.

"- You don't know what you're talking about."

Girls5eva

- As your realtor, it's my job to get real.

"- As your realtor, it's my job to get real."

Girls5eva

You're having doubts about your relationship.

"You're having doubts about your relationship."

Girls5eva

Buyer's remorse? - What? No!

"Buyer's remorse? - What? No!"

Girls5eva

I've been working so hard to get my ex-wife back.

"I've been working so hard to get my ex-wife back."

Girls5eva

I love her, and I am not pretending to be happy.

"I love her, and I am not pretending to be happy."

Girls5eva

- That's a direct quote from my wedding vows.

"- That's a direct quote from my wedding vows."

Girls5eva

All right, if you're sticking with the story,

"All right, if you're sticking with the story,"

Girls5eva

a little advice:

"a little advice:"

Girls5eva

throw yourself into an impenetrable hobby,

"throw yourself into an impenetrable hobby,"

Girls5eva

something so all-encompassing that no unwanted thought

"something so all-encompassing that no unwanted thought"

Girls5eva

could sneak in through your brain door.

"could sneak in through your brain door."

Girls5eva

What about posing taxidermy in historical iconic moments--

"What about posing taxidermy in historical iconic moments--"

Girls5eva

the Moon landing, Lewis and Clark with little raccoons?

"the Moon landing, Lewis and Clark with little raccoons?"

Girls5eva

- Thanks, Kev. Doesn't apply to me.

"- Thanks, Kev. Doesn't apply to me."

Girls5eva

- It's got a working bathtub!

"- It's got a working bathtub!"

Girls5eva

- Cool, babe. Let's think about it.

"- Cool, babe. Let's think about it."

Girls5eva

- Or if you don't wanna think about it,

"- Or if you don't wanna think about it,"

Girls5eva

you could always do the thing that I just said.

"you could always do the thing that I just said."

Girls5eva

Wink.

"Wink."

Girls5eva

- Thanks, Kev. Bye, Kev.

"- Thanks, Kev. Bye, Kev."

Girls5eva

- What did you do?

"- What did you do?"

Girls5eva

- My tongue is weirdly hot,

"- My tongue is weirdly hot,"

Girls5eva

and I have too much saliva and brain fog.

"and I have too much saliva and brain fog."

Girls5eva

And I have brain fog.

"And I have brain fog."

Girls5eva

I'm not a doctor, but I am 99% sure

"I'm not a doctor, but I am 99% sure"

Girls5eva

I have Flynn Stranbygaard Syndrome.

"I have Flynn Stranbygaard Syndrome."

Girls5eva

- Well, the only way to test for that

"- Well, the only way to test for that"

Girls5eva

is to sample the brain after death.

"is to sample the brain after death."

Girls5eva

And have you been near a Chilean spider?

"And have you been near a Chilean spider?"

Girls5eva

- No, but I live by a place

"- No, but I live by a place"

Girls5eva

that makes very authentic empanadas.

"that makes very authentic empanadas."

Girls5eva

- Are you drinking enough water?

"- Are you drinking enough water?"

Girls5eva

Are you stressed about something?

"Are you stressed about something?"

Girls5eva

- This is so typical!

"- This is so typical!"

Girls5eva

The medical community just ignoring

"The medical community just ignoring"

Girls5eva

a woman's symptoms when diagnostic tests

"a woman's symptoms when diagnostic tests"

Girls5eva

would obviously prove-- - Dawn, this is your file.

"would obviously prove-- - Dawn, this is your file."

Girls5eva

I mean, you've had a dozen MRIs.

"I mean, you've had a dozen MRIs."

Girls5eva

Last year, you thought you had one of those

"Last year, you thought you had one of those"

Girls5eva

black licorice heart attacks.

"black licorice heart attacks."

Girls5eva

- Because I ate so much licorice.

"- Because I ate so much licorice."

Girls5eva

- You thought you were dying because a stray cat

"- You thought you were dying because a stray cat"

Girls5eva

kept following you.

"kept following you."

Girls5eva

- Because at a nursing home, there's always a cat

"- Because at a nursing home, there's always a cat"

Girls5eva

who knows who's next.

"who knows who's next."

Girls5eva

Look, I was wrong about those.

"Look, I was wrong about those."

Girls5eva

If I'm the boy who cried wolf, this is probably the end.

"If I'm the boy who cried wolf, this is probably the end."

Girls5eva

And the wolf is here.

"And the wolf is here."

Girls5eva

- All right, if I draw some blood, will you--

"- All right, if I draw some blood, will you--"

Girls5eva

and I'm asking as your doctor--

"and I'm asking as your doctor--"

Girls5eva

get the fuck out of here?

"get the fuck out of here?"

Girls5eva

- I will.

"- I will."

Girls5eva

- Hi, Tate.

"- Hi, Tate."

Girls5eva

- Oh, gah!

"- Oh, gah!"

Girls5eva

Sorry, I ran late talking to Co-Z Boi.

"Sorry, I ran late talking to Co-Z Boi."

Girls5eva

- My fault, ladies.

"- My fault, ladies."

Girls5eva

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