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Clips from Cheers - No Contest (S01E01)

"FROM ALL THE MAJOR PAPERS?"
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"WELL, UH..."
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"I GUESS IF A CONTESTANT HAD A FEW THINGS TO SAY,"
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"THIS WOULD BE AN EXCELLENT FORUM FOR 'EM."
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"HA HA HA!"
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"YES, I AM EVERY BIT AS CUTE AS MY PICTURE."
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"YEAH, THANK YOU."
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"I'LL SEE YOU AT THE CONTEST."
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"HEY, DIANE,"
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"I JUST HAVE ONE THING TO SAY TO YOU, AND I MEAN THIS."
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"YOU STAY IN THIS CONTEST, OR WE'RE NO LONGER FRIENDS."
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"I'M STAYING IN THE CONTEST."
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"WOW. REALLY?"
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"YES."
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"HEY, DIANE..."
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"YOU GO TO BED WITH ME TONIGHT,"
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"OR WE'RE NO LONGER FRIENDS."
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"WELL, I GUESS YOU CAN JUST PUSH FRIENDSHIP SO FAR."
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"NORM, HOLD THIS FOR ME, WILL YOU, NORM?"
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"WHOA. WHAT SMELLS GREAT, COACH?"
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"I JUST CAME FROM THE BARBER SHOP."
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"YOU KNOW, THEY PUT SOME OF THAT ZINGY AFTERSHAVE STUFF. OOH!"
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"OH, THAT EXPLAINS WHY ALL THESE FLIES ARE DYING HERE, COACH."
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"OH, OH, HEY, HEY, DIANE."
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"I'VE BEEN TO A COUPLE OF THESE THINGS BEFORE."
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"SO I KNOW WHAT THEY'RE LOOKING FOR."
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"BASICALLY IT'S PERSONALITY AND CUSTOMER SERVICE"
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"AND ALL THAT KIND OF THING,"
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"BUT A NICE APPEARANCE CAN'T HURT."
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"YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?"
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"SEX?"
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"NO, NO, NOT SEX."
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"JUST A NICE APPEARANCE, THAT'S ALL."
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"FOR EXAMPLE, IF YOU LOWERED YOUR BLOUSE"
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"JUST A LITTLE BIT OFF YOUR SHOULDERS..."
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"ABSOLUTELY NOT."
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"HEY, COME ON, JUST TO CHECK IT OUT."
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"COME ON."
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"THAT'S VERY NICE. THAT'S VERY NICE."
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"MAYBE MESS YOUR HAIR UP JUST A BIT."
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"OH!"
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"THAT'S NICE. LEAN AGAINST THE BAR."
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"THAT'S GOOD. PUT YOUR ELBOW UP HERE LIKE THAT."
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"WET YOUR LIPS A LITTLE. POUT."
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"THAT'S GOOD."
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"I THOUGHT YOU SAID THE JUDGES WEREN'T LOOKING FOR SEX."
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"THEY'RE NOT. I AM."
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"I JUST CHECKED OUT THE OLD COMPETITION."
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"THEY LOOK EVEN BETTER UP CLOSE."
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"EH...NONE OF THOSE GIRLS HAVE WHAT I'M LOOKING FOR, NORMIE."
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"WHAT'S THAT?"
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"LOW STANDARDS."
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"COME CLEAN. ONE MINUTE YOU'RE AGAINST THIS STUPID CONTEST."
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"THE NEXT MINUTE YOU'RE ALL FOR IT."
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"WHAT'S UP?"
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"YOU DON'T LIKE THIS CONTEST, DO YOU, CARLA?"
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"IT'S A SHAM."
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"CARLA, YOU'LL BE HAPPY TO HEAR"
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"THAT I AM GOING TO BRING THIS CONTEST TO ITS KNEES."
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"OOH, I LIKE IT SO FAR."
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"WHEN THEY INTRODUCE ME,"
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"I'M GOING TO MAKE A STATEMENT"
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"DENOUNCING THOSE RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS OUTRAGE."
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"OHH. OH, I LOVE IT! I LOVE IT!"
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"THERE AREN'T TOO MANY THINGS ABOUT YOU I LIKE."
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"IN FACT, THERE'S NOTHING ABOUT YOU THAT I LIKE,"
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"BUT I ALWAYS SAY ALL GREAT FRIENDSHIPS"
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"START WITH ONE SMALL ACT OF VENGEANCE."
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"Man: GOOD EVENING, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN,"
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"AND WELCOME TO THE 45th ANNUAL"
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"MISS BOSTON BARMAID COMPETITION."
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"FIRST, EACH CONTESTANT"
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"WILL TELL US A LITTLE BIT ABOUT HERSELF."
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"YVONNE."
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"[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]"
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"HI. I'M YVONNE."
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"I GO TO MODELING SCHOOL."
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"AND I'D LIKE TO BE AN ARTIST."
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"[APPLAUSE]"
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"HI. I'M JOCELYN,"
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"AND I LIKE BEING A WAITRESS."
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"I'M SAVING MY MONEY"
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"TO TRAVEL AROUND THE WORLD NEXT SUMMER."
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"HI. I'M BONNIE, AND I HAVE TO SAY"
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"I REALLY LIKE BEING JUST WHAT I AM--"
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"A COCKTAIL WAITRESS IN THE BEST CITY IN THE WORLD."
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"OH, BOSTON."
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"GO!"
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"UM..."
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"MY NAME IS DIANE CHAMBERS,"
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"AND I WOULD LIKE ONE DAY"
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"TO BE KNOWN AS THE VOICE OF MY GENERATION."
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"YOU SEE, I'M A HUMANIST."
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"AND AREN'T WE ALL? GOOD LUCK."
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"AND IF YOU WIN, WE'LL BE SEEING YOU ON A.M. BOSTON."
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"JUST LET--"
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"A.M. BOSTON?"
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"THAT'S RIGHT. THEY'RE GONNA BE HERE LATER"
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"TO TAPE THE ANNOUNCEMENT OF THE WINNER"
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"FOR TOMORROW MORNING'S PROGRAM."
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"LET THE GAMES BEGIN."
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"Man: DIANE CHAMBERS, HUMANIST."
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"AND NOW YVONNE WILL WAIT ON THE JUDGES,"
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"WHO'LL ASK HER A SET OF PREPARED QUESTIONS"
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"DESIGNED TO HELP US GET TO KNOW HER BETTER."
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"HELLO THERE. I'M YVONNE,"
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"AND I'LL BE SERVING YOU."
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"WHAT'S YOUR PLEASURE THIS EVENING, GENTLEMEN?"
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"COULD YOU RECOMMEND SOMETHING WARM AND SWEET"
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"AND PERFECT FOR LATE IN THE EVENING?"
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"IRISH COFFEE..."
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"OR ME."
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"OOH!"
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"AND ONE GIN AND TONIC."
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"I AM MOVED, CLIFF. I'M VISIBLY MOVED."
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"GOING TO BE TOUGH TO BEAT."
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"NOW FOR OUR LAST CONTESTANT--"
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"SOMEONE RIGHT FROM HERE AT CHEERS,"
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"MISS DIANE CHAMBERS."
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"YO!"
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