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Clips from Flight of the Conchords - Girlfriends (S01E01)

"She jumped on top of me and then touched me on the penis."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh I see. You're lying."
Flight of the Conchords
"No, she was all over me."
Flight of the Conchords
"It's like that scene from "Top Gun.""
Flight of the Conchords
"You know your favorite scene in "Top Gun"?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- I don't know that movie. - Yeah, it's your favorite scene."
Flight of the Conchords
"I don't know the movie."
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, well, it was full-on. I'm not ready for it."
Flight of the Conchords
"How did you get her to start it?"
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"I don't know, I was asleep."
Flight of the Conchords
"Really? Hmm."
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"And then what did you do?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, I just said, "I'm not ready to have sex.""
Flight of the Conchords
"- And that worked? - No, that didn't work at all,"
Flight of the Conchords
"'cause then she wanted to have sex."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh."
Flight of the Conchords
"It worked then, good."
Flight of the Conchords
"I think Felicia's pretty keen too."
Flight of the Conchords
"She gave me this free day-old croissant."
Flight of the Conchords
"Conchord CDs."
Flight of the Conchords
"Original music from New Zealand."
Flight of the Conchords
"Out of my area."
Flight of the Conchords
"Hey, Mel, you want one of these?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Thanks, George."
Flight of the Conchords
"Hey, Dave, can I ask you a question about women's sexuality?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Sure, you came to the right place for that."
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm going out with this American girl who wants to, you know,"
Flight of the Conchords
"- go... you know, like, do the whole... - Mm-hmm."
Flight of the Conchords
"She wants to go the whole way. That means sex, right?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah and... I'm not really ready for that."
Flight of the Conchords
"Bret's not ready for it."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Yeah. - Hot bod, gross face."
Flight of the Conchords
"I get it. Just hit that shit from behind."
Flight of the Conchords
"No no no, I just always imagined that when I did finally make the move,"
Flight of the Conchords
"it would be more special, you know?"
Flight of the Conchords
"It would be flowers, violins, I'd be in a nice suit."
Flight of the Conchords
"Everything would just be perfect."
Flight of the Conchords
"I don't know how you guys do things in Europe..."
Flight of the Conchords
"- New Zealand. - Yeah, probably."
Flight of the Conchords
"But in America, if you want to spend some time with the ladies,"
Flight of the Conchords
"you got to show 'em some sausage. Am I right, Jemaine?"
Flight of the Conchords
"What are you talking about?"
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm talking about in the U.S., if you want something,"
Flight of the Conchords
"you've got to be prepared to put out for it."
Flight of the Conchords
"How do you think I eat so well every lunchtime?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Hey, Mrs. Chang. Thanks for the egg rolls, huh."
Flight of the Conchords
"What?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Hey, Lisa, do you think we can maybe just talk for a little bit?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah."
Flight of the Conchords
"Don't... don't... do you care about me at all?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yes."
Flight of the Conchords
"I mean, don't you know that if a girl gets aroused"
Flight of the Conchords
"and doesn't climax, that she can really damage herself?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Bret, I might not be able to have a baby."
Flight of the Conchords
"- I didn't know that. - It's kinda common knowledge."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Well... - I'm not..."
Flight of the Conchords
"I don't want to make you feel bad,"
Flight of the Conchords
"but it's just everybody kind of knows that."
Flight of the Conchords
"I just think it might be a bit too soon."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, guess what?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Tomorrow it's not gonna matter if you're ready or not."
Flight of the Conchords
"Mmm... why's that?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Because tomorrow, Bret, I ship out to Iraq."
Flight of the Conchords
"Iraq?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, I'm in Delta Force, Bret."
Flight of the Conchords
"You're in Delta Force?"
Flight of the Conchords
"What's that?"
Flight of the Conchords
"I gotta take one for my country,"
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"so the least I could do is take one from you."
Flight of the Conchords
"Felicia, hey."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Oh hey, Jemaine. - I just wanted to tell you"
Flight of the Conchords
"that I don't want to have sex with you."
Flight of the Conchords
"Good, I don't want to either."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh... ooh ooh!"
Flight of the Conchords
"Felicia, I just wanted to check."
Flight of the Conchords
"So who was it that wanted to and who didn't want to?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, it was both of us that didn't want to."
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, you don't want to, I don't want to."
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"Yeah, don't want to. You said you didn't want to..."
Flight of the Conchords
"Mmm, oh yuck, no way. But we could."
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"Can we?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, so you do want to?"
Flight of the Conchords
"No, I'm just... I'm not interested at all, Jemaine."
Flight of the Conchords
"- It's not gonna happen. - Is it because I'm too dangerous?"
Flight of the Conchords
"'Cause you think I'm just gonna ride out of this town"
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"the same way I rode in, and when I go,"
Flight of the Conchords
"I'll take your heart with me?"
Flight of the Conchords
"No?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Slight concern about that, though, maybe?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Mmm."
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"Thought it was gonna be that one."
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"Look, Jemaine, I, um..."
Flight of the Conchords
"I only went out with you in the first place"
Flight of the Conchords
"because Lisa kind of like insisted that I be her wingman."
Flight of the Conchords
"You're her wingman?"
Flight of the Conchords
"'Cause Bret was supposed to be my wingman."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Look. - That's why you don't want to."
Flight of the Conchords
"- No, it's not way. - Might be one of the reasons."
Flight of the Conchords
"Not any of the reasons, but..."
Flight of the Conchords
"Iook. It's raining. I've got to get going 'cause..."
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay, there was, "don't want to," "don't want to.""
Flight of the Conchords
"- Do not want to. - Okay."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Me too, don't want to. - "Don't want to" and "don't want to.""
Flight of the Conchords
"- Okay, let's not then. - Okay."
Flight of the Conchords
"I mean, that seems to work out best for both of us."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Okay, Jemaine, good night. - Okay."
Flight of the Conchords
"Good night."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Okay, move. - Yeah."
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"You can... you can move a little more."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Come on. - Yeah."
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"Um, Lisa?"
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"Could I go home now?"
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"You okay, Bret?"
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"Could you please get out of here? I'm having a shower."
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"Okay. I was in here first. You come in here"
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"with your clothes on, crying."
Flight of the Conchords
"It was over in five minutes."
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"I mean, she fell asleep."
Flight of the Conchords
"Are you and Lisa gonna get married now?"
Flight of the Conchords
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