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Clips from Workaholics (2011) - Bill & Tez's Sexcellent Sexventure (S07E07)

"You know, I just wasn't, you know,"
Workaholics (2011)
"happy with my current look."
Workaholics (2011)
"So I'm... I'm trying something new, what do you think?"
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"Steampunk..."
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"or smoke-punk?"
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"Dude, just go "Waterworld,""
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"take those clothes off."
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"Yes! I love that."
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"Hey, check me out, okay..."
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"- You're a genius. - I'm here for you, man."
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"Stop doing what you're doing and watch me."
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"Okay, one, two... [groans]"
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"- It's okay. - Almost got a record."
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"- Oh, shoot. - What are you doing?"
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"- Are those my keys, man? - They are."
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"And I'm gonna get a record, watch."
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"- Shoot. - You're gonna bend my CVS card."
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"Ow, why are you doing that?"
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"Do you not want me to get discounts?"
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"- It's understandable. - You ru..."
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"Whoa, look who it is,"
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"Bill the Thrill."
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"Cool tie."
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"What's... what's up with that?"
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"Cool, right?"
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"It was actually my mom's."
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"See, it's a Polynesian green turtle,"
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"found mainly in Tahiti."
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"Wow, Bill, you're explaining it"
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"like we care. And we don't!"
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"We don't, and honestly,"
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"only Blake gets to wear stupid stuff like that."
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"Yeah, I am the office fashionista"
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"and, uh, that is not a tie."
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"It's a loss. [laughter]"
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"That was really funny. You just thought of that?"
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"Oh, wait a second."
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"Speaking of fashion,"
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"Bill, what's with your pants 'cause"
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"it looks like you're popping a boner!"
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"Oh, you... you're fully engorged!"
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"Right?"
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"Uh, that's just how the pants lay, guys."
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"- Nope. - Uh, really?"
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"Yeah, your pants lay with"
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"a gigantic hard dick inside of them?"
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"Uh, nah, I don't think so."
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"I think your little turtle"
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"is poking its head out of its shell."
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"[laughter]"
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"[dramatic whoosh]"
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"They weren't wrong."
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"I'd been playing pocket pool on the ride over."
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"And I was hard."
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"[keys clink]"
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"But these dip-[bleep] had no idea"
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"how hard I could actually get."
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"[dramatic music]"
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"♪ ♪"
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"[bones crunch]"
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"[plaster breaks]"
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"[whooshing]"
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"♪ ♪"
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"[squelch]"
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"[chuckles] Guilty as charged."
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"You guys are hilarious."
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"Thank you."
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"- Thank you. - We know."
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"- Yes. - Roasted."
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"[The Skinny Boys' "Jock Box"]"
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"♪ Gotta be fresh ♪"
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"- [office phones ringing] - ♪ Baby ♪"
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"[sultry music on computer]"
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"Oh, hey, Bill, um, remember,"
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"I need you to head to TAC-Long Beach"
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"and return those thermal hunting vision goggle things"
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"we borrowed for the sales demo, kay?"
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"Yeah, topped off the tank this morning."
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"Well, great. Get going then."
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"'Cause you were late last time, and I had to deal with Roger"
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"from TAC-LBC saying how I run a loose ship."
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"- [dramatic music] - This ship isn't loose."
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"It's full of holes and sinking fast."
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"I'd like to toss you overboard"
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"and let the sharks rip you apart."
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"I'm sorry you had to deal with that,"
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"I think you run one hell of a tight ship, Captain."
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"Shut up, Bill. Kiss ass."
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"You want me to go with him?"
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"Make sure he's on time,"
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"doesn't stop off at The Wizarding World"
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"of Harry Potter, get a butterbeer."
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"- [dramatic music] - Stay in your lane, Tez."
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"This ain't the day."
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"Mm, good point."
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"Bill, Montez is going with you."
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"- Yeah. - God freaking damn it."
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"Okey-dokey, Captain, not a problem."
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"But it is a problem"
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"because he's not part of the plan."
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"And this mission has to go exactly as planned."
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"[brooding dramatic music]"
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"There's no room for error."
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"There never is."
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"So I have Yelped the best Arby's on the way"
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"because they got this off-menu sandwich"
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"called "The Meat Mountain.""
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"Bill, where the hell'd you get this super dope brief..."
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"Don't touch that!"
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"Sorry, I... I don't mean to yell,"
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"- just put it in the backseat. - Okay."
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"[grunts]"
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"Look,"
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"I'm sorry I'm tagging along,"
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"but I'm just having some serious marital problems"
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"and I need to, like, bro down."
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"Okay, what's on your mind, my cubicle brother?"
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"[tires squeal]"
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"Me and Colleen, we in a bad place."
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"This blue car's been behind me for the last mile."
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