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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Rides a Bike! (S01E01)

"I told you I'm not very good at math, Ms. Pokorny."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"And I know it's coming soon."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I've been very up front about that."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That doesn't scare me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The signs are all around you if you just open your eyes."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But even to me, your story doesn't add up."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He makes some really good points."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Men debasing themselves for pleasure..."
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"I can see where he's coming from."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and the few good among us..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Reasonable doubt, you know?"
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"That's me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[all murmuring]"
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"Find your beach, my little ponies."
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"I'm good."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The sun is shining."
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"Powerless against the faceless evil"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"of petty tyranny..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The waves are crashing. The..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"just like in School Ties."
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"Jacqueline, get off my beach. Find your own."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The library is closed."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This isn't fair to people with no imagination."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm powerless against the faceless evil of petty tyranny."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm there!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Oh, God!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's happening!"
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"It's beautiful!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Evil will rise from the depths of the Earth."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[Cyndee] Kimmy!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Bottles and models, bitches!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy, wait up!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ugh!"
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"What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here!"
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"What white nonsense was that?"
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"Neither should you. We need you in Durnsville."
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"Woman shall lie with beast."
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"No, I'm not going."
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"This only proves that the Reverend was right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Get a hold of yourself, Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Without him, we turn against each other,"
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"And the Devil herself shall appear in a cloud of smoke"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and drag you down to the foulest pit of hell."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"like when Dylan tells the whole team that David is Jewish"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Hey, Titus."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"in School Ties."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You want to go to Boston Market?"
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"___"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"___"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"___"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"It's the Devil!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ha! I'm not the Devil."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[Cyndee] Kimmy, no! Don't leave us!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm sorry. It just doesn't fit."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The sulfur smell is 'cause I'm doing a hard-boiled egg cleanse."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Really? Darn it."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Lillian, I got sucked in by a crazy person,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"and I started to believe what he was saying."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I swear, I'm gonna find out who this glove belongs to."
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"I know."
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"And if that happened to me, with my iron will..."
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"Now..."
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"Iron will!"
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"You couldn't even stay standing for this whole conversation."
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"Reverend..."
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"My point is, that man is dangerous,"
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"If you were me..."
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"and he must be stopped,"
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"what would you ask you?"
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"and there's only one person who can do it."
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"Well, if I were you,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I would ask me about..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[strums a chord]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ A long, long time ago ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimberly, that man is dangerous."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[applause]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"♪ I can still remember... ♪"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Why doesn't someone ask him"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, get off my beach."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"how come after the apocalypse didn't happen"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Get your beach out of my"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Olympic men's figure skating locker room."
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"he didn't let us go?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"We all have our fantasies."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Sit down and shut up! - Shut your mouth!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That monster told you how to dress,"
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"[Reverend Richard] No, it's a fair question."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"how to wear your hair, what to think."
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"You see, I worked for years"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He locked you up and told you"
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"the outside world didn't exist anymore,"
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"on figuring out the date of the apocalypse..."
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"and you believed him."
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"June 6, 2006,"
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"No, I didn't."
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"I never believed a word the Reverend said."
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"6-6-6."
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"I'm not talking about the Reverend."
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"It came to me while I was watching Sesame Street."
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"I'm talking about him."
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"Tristan? No, he's not..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The number of the day was 9, and I was in my gravity boots."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Look at yourself, "girlfrenemy"..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"But when that day came and went,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The clothes, the hair."
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"You walk around spouting his gibberish."
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"Of course he spouts gibberish."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"He studied spirit biking in Giberia."
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"I felt like a real heel."
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"And I'm not locked up anywhere."
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"What can I say?"
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"I can go wherever I want."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm hard on myself."
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"But I wasn't about to give up on those girls,"
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"I just can't unclip my shoes."
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"because I, or whoever was down in that bunker,"
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"Oh!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"had them in there since 1998,"
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"Oh, my goodness, are you okay?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"SpiritCycle is a cult."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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