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Clips from Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt - Kimmy Rides a Bike! (S01E01)

"Can you believe we biked all day?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I can see where he's coming from."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Tristafé is amazing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[mockingly] Tristafé is amazing."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Reasonable doubt, you know?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"That sounded exactly like me."
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"Find your beach, my little ponies."
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"That was like listening to a mirror."
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"The sun is shining."
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"The waves are crashing. The..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Jacqueline, get off my beach. Find your own."
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"This isn't fair to people with no imagination."
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"Be quiet, Kimmy."
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"I'm there!"
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"And clean that up."
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"It's beautiful!"
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"But Tristafé says..."
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"You don't tell me what Tristafé says."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy!"
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"I brought you to SpiritCycle."
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"Kimmy, wait up!"
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"And how do you repay me?"
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"What are you doing here? You're not supposed to be here!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"You take my bike and exile me to the second row"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"with those sloppy baby-weight disasters."
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"Tristafé warned me you would lash out tonight."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Neither should you. We need you in Durnsville."
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"Oh, really?"
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"No, I'm not going."
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"And exactly when did you have"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This only proves that the Reverend was right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"a private conversation with Tristafé?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Without him, we turn against each other,"
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"The front row had a cucumber-water cool-down"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"with him after class."
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"like when Dylan tells the whole team that David is Jewish"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"in School Ties."
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"Now I guess I'll have to tell Tristafé"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"___"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"that you forgot your place and yelled at a first-row bike."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"___"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"___"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, no, please!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Kimmy, no! Don't leave us!"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"- Please. - Good."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Now drink."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Ha, ah..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm sorry. It just doesn't fit."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I can taste your power."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Mmm."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Really? Darn it."
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"What are you doing here?"
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"I swear, I'm gonna find out who this glove belongs to."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I know."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The trial started already."
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"Now..."
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"Reverend..."
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"If you were me..."
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"Titus, I've decided I'm not going."
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"what would you ask you?"
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"Well, if I were you,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I would ask me about..."
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"What? But you have to!"
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"A long, long time ago"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I can still remember..."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"The only thing I have to do is follow my bliss."
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"Why doesn't someone ask him"
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"And Indiana is nowhere near my mind beach."
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"how come after the apocalypse didn't happen"
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"What white nonsense is this?"
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"he didn't let us go?"
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"It's SpiritCycle."
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"- Sit down and shut up! - Shut your mouth!"
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"And Tristafé is teaching me to leave everything behind,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"like a toddler at an out-of-state"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"No, it's a fair question."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"fast-food restaurant."
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"You see, I worked for years"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Listen to me."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"on figuring out the date of the apocalypse..."
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"Your lawyers' opening statement was mostly a slideshow"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"June 6, 2006,"
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"of their trip to see the fall colors."
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"If you don't go down there,"
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"6-6-6."
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"they might set the Reverend free."
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"It came to me while I was watching Sesame Street."
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"That has nothing to do with this."
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"The number of the day was 9, and I was in my gravity boots."
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"Kimmy... Kimmy..."
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"But when that day came and went,"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"Okay, bye."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[clacking keys]"
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"I felt like a real heel."
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"What can I say?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"[Reverend Richard] Ms. Pokorny, we've never met before, have we?"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"I'm hard on myself."
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"Yes, you kept me in an underground bunker"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"for 15 years."
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"But I wasn't about to give up on those girls,"
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"That's weird"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"because I, or whoever was down in that bunker,"
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"because in your deposition, you describe this man,"
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"had them in there since 1998,"
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"or more likely... woman,"
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"getting ready for the Rapture."
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"as having a big, bushy beard."
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"And you know how long it takes ladies to get ready."
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"Yes, that's right."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"This one."
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"A beard?"
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"Oh, pfft."
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"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury,"
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"My point is, what if I had let them out"
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"do you see a beard?"
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"and then the Rapture happened, like, two days later?"
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"Because the Bible says..."
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"[all gasping]"
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
"it's coming."
Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt
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