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Clips from Flight of the Conchords - The Actor (S01E01)

"um, about the guys, Bret and Jemaine."
Flight of the Conchords
"Get up guys, everyone."
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"Come on, come up and stand up here."
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"- Whoo! - Just come around, stand beside me"
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"on each side."
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"Um, I've known these guys for a while now."
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"When I first met them, I knew they had something special,"
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"something I like to call the "A" factor."
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"Which is, when you see them, you go "Eh!""
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"You know, there's that something special there."
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"And I remember when they first came into my office..."
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"- remember? - Yes."
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"- A while ago now, they had their guitar cases in tow,"
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"and they walked in and they announced,"
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""We can't find our passports," or something."
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"- What was it? - "We've lost our passports.""
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""We've lost our passports." I knew at that moment"
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"that these guys were gonna be huge, you know?"
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"They just... they've got something about them, an aura."
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"A... a year and half of, you know,"
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"not always good times. There's a lot of struggle."
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"Wasn't there? Depressing,"
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"- a lot of it? - Some depression."
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"- Yeah? - Yeah."
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"But we're here now. We're here, down the track."
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"And this is it. We've passed the point,"
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"it's all been worth it."
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"Tonight's about celebrating the success."
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"So, charge your glasses and drink up tonight,"
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"- 'cause it's all on us. - Uh, no, we..."
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"- Yup! ...probably shouldn't."
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"Don't worry about it, Jemaine. Here's to Flight of the Conchords!"
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"The drinks are on us!"
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"Well, welcome to your new life, eh?"
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"- Mmm. - How's it feel?"
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"More champagne?"
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"Uh, no, I'm just having water."
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"Water? Unsuccessful people have water."
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"You're on champagne now."
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"Murray, I think we should probably go home."
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"Yeah, I've got the check here."
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"Whoa, $600."
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"How are we gonna pay for that?"
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"- Eh? - How are we gonna afford that?"
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"Stefan gave me a code."
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"Special industry code, pays for everything..."
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"drinks, jet boats, caviar, everything."
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"everything. Watch this."
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"- I think... - Waiter?"
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"- Yes, sir? - I'd like to settle the bill, please."
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"Put on a little bit on for yourself,"
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"- That's fine. - Oh, thank you very much, sir."
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"- It's all right. - How will you be paying?"
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"Uh, with the code."
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"- Code? - Come in, I'll tell you."
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"Sir, I don't know what you're talking about."
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"- 576... - Yeah, I heard you the first time, sir."
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"I just don't have any idea what you're talking about."
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"That's weird. I bet Meatloaf never had this problem, eh?"
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"You know, the music code... pays for everything."
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"Sir, we accept MasterCard, Amex or Visa."
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"Bret, see if you can get that cork back in that bottle, will you?"
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"I'm gonna give Stefan a call."
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"Murray, um..."
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"we need to tell you something."
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"- What? - Ben isn't actually a record executive."
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"- Who? - Stefan."
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"He... he's not a record executive, he's a dry cleaner."
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"What do you mean? Of course he's an exec."
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"Good one. What about the conference call"
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"between him, me, Peter Jackson,"
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"the guy from the mafia?"
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"- Eddie, from the mafia? - Yeah, that's him."
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"- Fat Eddie? - Fat Eddie, yep."
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"- "Lot of commotion"? - That's what he..."
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"how do you know about that?"
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"That's just one of the characters that Ben does."
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"Characters?"
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"One man did all those characters?"
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"He's semiprofessional."
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"You're telling me that this is all a joke?"
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"Not a joke, but..."
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"Organized by a couple of jesters!"
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"Is this you, is it? "Oh, let's do a jest,"
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"a great big... great big lark"
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"in the courtyard of the king,"
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"and see how he takes it!" Is it?"
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"- Is that what you're telling me? - Yes."
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"Well, that went better than I thought it would."
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"Yeah, that cleared it up."
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"Guys... hang on, okay?"
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"That was not me. That was Stefan."
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"But it was you."
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"No no no no. Stefan is his own person."
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"- It looked like you. - Sure!"
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"You play Stefan."
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"Stefan works through me. He's like a spirit."
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"Well, it ended terribly."
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"We had this big wrap party that Murray put on"
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"and he paid for it himself."
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"Spent a lot of money on the music video,"
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"the Ringwraith costumes."
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"And he might have to move into his office"
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"'cause he can't afford his rent."
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"When he lives in his office, he washes his underpants in the sink"
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"and dries them in the microwave."
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"It's very humiliating for everyone involved."
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"You guys are absolutely right."
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"Okay, I guess, I..."
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"sometimes I just..."
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"underestimate the power of my own acting skills."
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"- Mmm. - Yeah."
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"Look, I want to make this right."
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"How much did Murray spend?"
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"Oh, he spent about $700."
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"No, including the video shoot, it was more like $750."
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"I'm gonna say $1,000,"
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"payable to Murray Hewitt."
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"Ah."
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"All right, I feel good about this."
Flight of the Conchords
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