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Clips from Family Guy - Rock Hard (S20E20)

"Elton John's Greatest Hits,"
Family Guy
"a collection of songs by the one gay guy on earth"
Family Guy
"with a worse haircut than Pete Rose."
Family Guy
"♪"
Family Guy
"We'll defer that end‐of‐year bonus"
Family Guy
"to the following fiscal quarter,"
Family Guy
"harvest the losses on our cap gains‐‐"
Family Guy
"that's a no‐brainer‐‐ and, let's see,"
Family Guy
"update my beneficiary designations?"
Family Guy
"(chuckles): Uh, yeah, I think so."
Family Guy
"Damn, I'm good."
Family Guy
"Elton John, what the hell do you think you're doing?!"
Family Guy
"It's just a little number crunchin', Pop."
Family Guy
"What's going on in here?"
Family Guy
"Why don't you ask your son, the tax man?"
Family Guy
"I found these under his mattress!"
Family Guy
"W‐2s!"
Family Guy
"I‐I was holding them for a friend."
Family Guy
"Wh‐Wh‐What are you doin', Pop?"
Family Guy
"No son of mine is gonna be a heterosexual paper pusher."
Family Guy
"You need to be a loud‐and‐proud performer like your gay old dad!"
Family Guy
"(air whooshing softly)"
Family Guy
"Aah! You hit me!"
Family Guy
"Oh, Elton. I'm telling you this because I love you."
Family Guy
"You'll never find someone to love you."
Family Guy
"Not even Dolly Levi could help you."
Family Guy
"- Who's Dolly Levi? - (gasping)"
Family Guy
"Oh, where did we go so wrong?!"
Family Guy
"STEWIE: So Elton John collaborated with Bernie Taupin,"
Family Guy
"who would write the lyrics for Elton's songs."
Family Guy
"Bernie was married three times in a desperate bid"
Family Guy
"to convince the world he was not a homosexual."
Family Guy
"(plays note)"
Family Guy
"All right, Bernie, what do you got?"
Family Guy
"Uh, how 'bout this?"
Family Guy
""Yours are the sweetest eyes"
Family Guy
"I've ever seen.""
Family Guy
"They are?"
Family Guy
"Whoa! I‐I'm not gay."
Family Guy
"You're not? Y‐You just seem very..."
Family Guy
"Yeah. I'm British. We all seem that way,"
Family Guy
"even if we're not but secretly are."
Family Guy
"♪"
Family Guy
"Elton, meet the best producer in the business."
Family Guy
"Kid, how would you like to sign with my label,"
Family Guy
"Naive‐Young‐Talent Records."
Family Guy
"Together, we are gonna make me millions!"
Family Guy
"Sounds fair to me. Let's get to it!"
Family Guy
"From then on, Elton's new male producer"
Family Guy
"rode him day and night."
Family Guy
"When Elton was tired of playing, he'd get right behind him"
Family Guy
"and push him on the stool until he was finished."
Family Guy
"Sometimes Elton would cry"
Family Guy
"because of how hard he was pushing."
Family Guy
"But it paid off, because, in the end,"
Family Guy
"they had a massive load. Of hits."
Family Guy
"Just a‐‐ just a big, messy load of hits."
Family Guy
"The night Elton John performed at Dodger Stadium,"
Family Guy
"he was so nervous, he almost never left the dressing room."
Family Guy
"CROWD (in distance):"
Family Guy
"Elton! Elton!"
Family Guy
"Whoa, dude, no!"
Family Guy
"I'm just a straight moment of clarity."
Family Guy
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't, uh..."
Family Guy
"But his reflection had walked away,"
Family Guy
"never to return."
Family Guy
"And he had to do his own makeup."
Family Guy
"(cheering)"
Family Guy
"Also, due to a scheduling error,"
Family Guy
"the Dodgers had a game that night,"
Family Guy
"and Elton had to bat fourth in the lineup."
Family Guy
"ANNOUNCER: It's a mince‐off single and the Dodgers win!"
Family Guy
"(cheering, whooping)"
Family Guy
"STEWIE: Elton John was heavily involved in the L. A. party scene,"
Family Guy
"and things took a dark turn one night"
Family Guy
"when he and Bernie went to a party in the Hollywood Hills,"
Family Guy
"one where you park way down at the bottom"
Family Guy
"and have to walk all the way up."
Family Guy
"(panting)"
Family Guy
"God, how much farther is it?"
Family Guy
"I don't know. You didn't get a TripTik."
Family Guy
"That's 'cause the rock star doesn't get the TripTik."
Family Guy
"The writer gets the TripTik."
Family Guy
"Damn it, here comes another person"
Family Guy
"walking to the same party."
Family Guy
"Let's stop, so we don't have to walk with him the whole way."
Family Guy
"When they said this party was "far out,""
Family Guy
"they weren't kidding."
Family Guy
"(forced chuckling) I know, right? Yeah."
Family Guy
"- ♪ - Look, we've got to be close."
Family Guy
"I can hear the music."
Family Guy
"Damn it! We're in the wrong canyon!"
Family Guy
"Well, I'm exhausted."
Family Guy
"Come on, let's just go home."
Family Guy
"I don't know. I kind of want to stay out."
Family Guy
"Hang on. Hey!"
Family Guy
"What's the cocaine sitch like at that party?!"
Family Guy
"Enough to kill a Belushi!"
Family Guy
"But you probably don't want to come!"
Family Guy
"It's a real sausage fest over here!"
Family Guy
"I'm going to that (bleep) party."
Family Guy
"Elton, if you leave me right now, it's a big deal,"
Family Guy
"because this is the time of the story where that's a big deal."
Family Guy
"What'd you say?! I couldn't hear you over the sound of snorting!"
Family Guy
"Have fun getting home without a TripTik, trip dick!"
Family Guy
"Whoa‐ho! Looks like Elton learned how to write!"
Family Guy
"(snorting)"
Family Guy
"♪"
Family Guy
"How is he, Doctor?"
Family Guy
"Well, looks like your husband's gonna be all right, Mr., uh..."
Family Guy
"I've been married three times! I'm Bernie Taupin!"
Family Guy
"You know what, don't worry about it."
Family Guy
"I already forgot who you are."
Family Guy
"Anyway, congratulations."
Family Guy
"Elton will be back on his knees in no time."
Family Guy
"Look at me. At some hospital"
Family Guy
"next to a Denny's by the airport."
Family Guy
"All day long, it's just Denny's and the jets."
Family Guy
"Wait, what'd you just say? Say that again."
Family Guy
"The important thing is you're alive."
Family Guy
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