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Clips from Bob's Burgers - Bed & Breakfast (S01E01)

"- Whats all this? - We're renting out rooms in our apartment for the long Weekend."
Bob's Burgers
"We're gonna be a bed-and-breakfast! It's so exciting!"
Bob's Burgers
"I love bed-and-breakfasts. They're so quaint."
Bob's Burgers
"Aren't they'? Random strangers shedding skin cells all over the house."
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"Yech. Well, I'm against this bed-and-breakfast as much as you can be against something..."
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"and still let it happen."
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"Like when my ex-wife wanted to have a three-way with our neighbor Ray."
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"Teddy, Teddy, I don't think you should be talking about-"
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"Wait, you had a three-way with Ray, the guy who wears the seal suit clown on the pier'?"
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"Yeah. I mean, I wasn't involved I just watched, but... yeah."
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"I had a three-way in science class yesterday."
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"Tammy's lab partner was absent, so she joined in with me and Joey."
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"- It was fun. - Okay, enough."
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"Doilies, soapies, extra-expensive toilet paper."
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"- I love that soft stuff. - I thought we were doing this to make extra money."
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"- Isn't all this eating into our profits? - Don't worry, Bob."
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"It's gonna be money and online reviews."
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"And when I die and I get to heaven, Gods gonna say..."
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"“Hey, aren’t you the lady that rah that B and B I heard about?""
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"And I'm gonna say, “Yes, God. What can I get you?""
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"Here, hold this."
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"[Sniffs] Mmm! Smell! Mmm, smell it!"
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"Lin, you're shoving things in my nose."
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"- Smell this one, though. - You always do this, Lin."
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"Whenever you entertain, you put way too much effort into it and drive yourself crazy."
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"What are you talking about?"
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"I'm a Wonderful hostess."
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"No, Linda, you go overboard. And then if people aren't appreciative enough, you snap."
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"That's not true!"
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"I'm a gifted hostess, and I'm ready to go pro."
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"- It is really soft. - Put it back on the roll, please."
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"Or, Mom, What if we just put Tina by the toilet?"
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"- Yeah! - I don't mind."
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"Almost check-in time!"
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"Tina, Gene, are your rooms guest-ready?"
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"- Yes. - Subjective."
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"Ha-ha! Remember when you made fun of me for moving into a closet?"
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"- Well, now you suckers have to give up your room and I don't. -[Doorbell Rings]"
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"Wooh-ooh, a guest!"
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"Javee is a entomologist."
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"- Javed. - What?"
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"- My name is Javed. - All right."
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"What kind of doctor is an entomologist again?"
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"Glands? Butt?"
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"[ Chuckles] I'm not a butt doctor. I study insects."
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"Specifically, the mating habits of myfungal beetles."
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"Oh. So What brings you here?"
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"Myfungal beetles feed on fungus..."
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"and this town has a very, very high potency of fungus."
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"Uh, that's actually our town motto."
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"Fungus town!"
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"Tina, why don't you show Javeed-"
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"- Javed. - his room..."
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"- Jav-ed? - Javed."
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"You'll be in the Equestrian Suite."
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"- Huh? - Okay."
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"That's great. He brought a bug in a jar into our house."
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"Don't be racist."
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"- I decorated it myself. - You..."
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"like horses a lot."
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"You like jars."
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"These are specimen jars. I intend to mate the queen with a male and preserve her eggs."
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"You mean you're gonna watch beetles have sex with each other?"
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"- Mm-hmm. - Cool. What's that for?"
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"Ooh, this is a synthetic pheromone."
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"It's similar to What the queen emits when she Wants to attract males."
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"Does it work on human boys?"
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"Oh, no. Well, maybe."
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"Ahh. [Coughs]"
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"May I store these in the bathroom?"
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"Sure. Everyone would love that."
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"-[Rings] - More guests!"
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"Welcome!"
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"You must be Ed and Nora Samuels."
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"- Yes. Hello. - Hi."
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"Come on. I'll give you the tour. Okay, this is the salon."
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"This is where we're gonna have the meet-and-greet, and you're just in time."
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"Uh - Actually, we’d just like to go to our room, if that's okay'?"
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"Right. We'd just like to get settled."
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"What? Why?"
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"Stay here for the meet-and-greet."
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"- Maybe we'll come back out in a bit - No, stay."
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"It's gonna be fun. Tina, get Javeed!"
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"- I think he's napping. - Wake him up!"
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"So, let's go around and we'll, um- we'll play a little game."
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"Let's say What our most embarrassing moment was. Who wants to go?"
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"I'll go."
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"One time, I coughed at Communion..."
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"and the wafer flew right out of my mouth and it landed on my boob!"
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"Who wants to go next? Javed?"
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"I'll take a pass. Get me on the next one."
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"What about when Dad got a perm?"
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"It wasn’t a perm. It was a body Wave."
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"You looked like Barbra Streisand in The Main Event."
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"- You looked like Barbra Streisand's pubes - I did."
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"How about now Dad says “gracias” in Mexican restaurants? That's embarrassing."
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"Remember the time you asked me to check your prostate and you made a poopie?"
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"- Linda! - Oh, remember when Dad tried to go jogging?"
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"[All Laughing]"
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"Oh, come on!"
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"What about when Dad cried at the end of About Schmidt'?"
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"What? You want me to get butter all over my clothes?"
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"Yeah. Now we just take him out back and hose him off."
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"You're a doctor. ls this a mole?"
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"I'm not a doctor. And that's a raisin."
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"Oh. Edible mole."
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"All right, let's let someone else go."
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"Samuels, how about you? What's your most embarrassing moment?"
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"- I don't know. This? - Yeah, definitely this."
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"Hmm."
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"-[Clears Throat] - Are we done?"
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"Yes, I guess we are done, Nora."
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"Are you sure there aren't any rooms available anywhere else?"
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"No, everything's booked. I checked."
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"- Ooh, hello. - Hmm."
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"I'm cold. My nipples are so pointy!"
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"- Ding-dong! it's for you. - Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm."
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"- Mm-hmm. - Mm-mmm."
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"It might be a package. You should answer it."
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"♪♪[Scatting]"
Bob's Burgers
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