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Clips from Avenue 5 - And Then He's Gonna Shoot Off... (S01E01)

"-(DEVICE BEEPS) -What in the-- Rav? Hello?"
Avenue 5
"-(GROANS) God damn it! -Do you want to try again?"
Avenue 5
"Yes, but I need a new wrist."
Avenue 5
"Been a long day."
Avenue 5
"What say we, uh, grab a drink, let our hair down?"
Avenue 5
"I'm not impressed by your space career."
Avenue 5
"RYAN: (IN ENGLISH ACCENT) Am I disturbing you?"
Avenue 5
"My life is disturbance."
Avenue 5
"I... just needed a moment."
Avenue 5
"Not normally one for prayer."
Avenue 5
"That's not gonna change."
Avenue 5
"IRIS: How'd it go telling the passengers it was six months?"
Avenue 5
"RYAN: Uh... Not great."
Avenue 5
"They all called me a shithouse."
Avenue 5
"I'm not surprised."
Avenue 5
"Seems like we've both been feeling it."
Avenue 5
"-If you ever need a shoulder to-- -Noted."
Avenue 5
"Well, maybe if I go first, then..."
Avenue 5
"-you know, it might help you-- -IRIS: My grandfather got me."
Avenue 5
"The only person I felt truly myself with, you know?"
Avenue 5
"I was nine years old when he took me rowing for the first time."
Avenue 5
"Just us, out on the lake together,"
Avenue 5
"peacefully in nature."
Avenue 5
"Then he had a heart attack right in front of me and died."
Avenue 5
"I had to row back to shore alone,"
Avenue 5
"his lifeless body with me."
Avenue 5
"RYAN: Oh, my God."
Avenue 5
"That..."
Avenue 5
"That is terrible. That is truly, truly awful."
Avenue 5
"This person I loved, staring flatly at me..."
Avenue 5
"All I wanted to do was scream or cry, but I couldn't. I..."
Avenue 5
"just had to keep rowing."
Avenue 5
"I had to say to myself, "Pull through, Iris."
Avenue 5
"Pull through.""
Avenue 5
"IRIS: (SIGHS) And now it's happening again."
Avenue 5
"Except this time, I'm not alone."
Avenue 5
"I'm with you."
Avenue 5
"Oh, no, wait. That's not a uniform,"
Avenue 5
"that's a costume because you're not a real captain,"
Avenue 5
"you giant, shitty fraud."
Avenue 5
"(PEOPLE APPROACHING)"
Avenue 5
"What's wrong? What's happened? How bad is it?"
Avenue 5
"Iris was... uh, was in a rowing boat and--"
Avenue 5
"I just rowed out and rowed back again."
Avenue 5
"Hey."
Avenue 5
"Cool. So, coffins."
Avenue 5
"(IN AMERICAN ACCENT) Are we sure that transparent"
Avenue 5
"is really appropriate?"
Avenue 5
"(SCOFFS) I think we passed appropriate like three corpses ago."
Avenue 5
"I mean, they're light."
Avenue 5
"A compressed jet of air will fire them out of orbit."
Avenue 5
"Unseemly, yet practical."
Avenue 5
"-Good job. -Thanks."
Avenue 5
"How are you doing, Billie?"
Avenue 5
"-Uh... I'm fine. -Yeah?"
Avenue 5
"'Cause you have gone above and beyond."
Avenue 5
"It's not a problem. It's fine."
Avenue 5
"I'm happy to hear any concerns, is what I'm saying."
Avenue 5
"Well, um..."
Avenue 5
"-my concern is, uh, that... -Uh-huh."
Avenue 5
"...you have no skills as a captain"
Avenue 5
"-beyond fuzzy charm... -Right."
Avenue 5
"...which is already kind of getting old."
Avenue 5
"-And, uh... -Noted."
Avenue 5
"...you can't seem to hold the same accent,"
Avenue 5
"which is kinda crazy."
Avenue 5
"-And, uh... Also... -Right."
Avenue 5
"...if you hand me the mic again to talk to those passengers,"
Avenue 5
"I will beat you over the head with it,"
Avenue 5
"and I will ram it down your esophagus."
Avenue 5
"-She's not wrong. -BILLIE: You."
Avenue 5
"You need to handle Judd the business Sasquatch,"
Avenue 5
"'cause otherwise, he starts flinging his shit"
Avenue 5
"and telling NASA to go fuck themselves."
Avenue 5
"I mean, he is like-- You know, the best analogy I can think of"
Avenue 5
"is he's like an idiot in charge of a spaceship,"
Avenue 5
"but that is not an analogy, that is just a fact."
Avenue 5
"(IN ENGLISH ACCENT) Wait-- Wait a minute. Judd said what to NASA?"
Avenue 5
"He told NASA that we don't need them."
Avenue 5
"Oh, shitting aunts!"
Avenue 5
"Oh, this is..."
Avenue 5
"-Where is he now? -In the kitchen."
Avenue 5
"RYAN: Is he? Oh, that's good."
Avenue 5
"Maybe he's climbing into a freezer"
Avenue 5
"and hoping to wait the whole thing out."
Avenue 5
"He wants the menu to reflect stress eating. It's a boom time."
Avenue 5
"RYAN: Billie. Do you wanna..."
Avenue 5
"It sucks that there are no foods that begin with J."
Avenue 5
"-There are. -Name one."
Avenue 5
"Jalapeño."
Avenue 5
"Not a proper J."
Avenue 5
"So, I hear that NASA extended a hand and you shat in it."
Avenue 5
"You wanna just take me through the thought process there?"
Avenue 5
"'Cause that's sounds like a bad idea."
Avenue 5
"(CHUCKLES) It's a really bad idea."
Avenue 5
"I don't have any bad ideas apart from hiring him."
Avenue 5
"I think if you put your brain up against NASA's,"
Avenue 5
"you come up a bit fucking short."
Avenue 5
"-Very short. -JUDD: First of all,"
Avenue 5
"I have a much greater social media presence than NASA does."
Avenue 5
"Second, don't you ever talk to me like that again,"
Avenue 5
"unless you do it with proper English,"
Avenue 5
"which is American."
Avenue 5
"I can't do this much longer. I can't."
Avenue 5
"JUDD: Well, you don't have to because we're gonna be gone in six months."
Avenue 5
"What if we..."
Avenue 5
"-Here we go. -...slingshot around Joe's coffin?"
Avenue 5
"Really?"
Avenue 5
"Really?"
Avenue 5
"Just stop suggesting things you don't understand."
Avenue 5
"That's gonna be really hard for me to do,"
Avenue 5
"because I understand everything! All things!"
Avenue 5
"I'm the alpha and the beta!"
Avenue 5
"I know... so much!"
Avenue 5
"So much!"
Avenue 5
"It's "omega.""
Avenue 5
"♪ (SOMBER MUSIC PLAYS) ♪"
Avenue 5
"Welcome. Not "welcome." Less jaunty word than "welcome.""
Avenue 5
"We are here to say goodbye to three great friends."
Avenue 5
"Mary, Johann, and Mar-- Um... Another Mary."
Avenue 5
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