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Clips from Cheers - Personal Business (S02E02)

MAN TO MAN? YEAH? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

"MAN TO MAN? YEAH? WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?"

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I DON'T THINK I WANT TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION.

"I DON'T THINK I WANT TO ANSWER THAT QUESTION."

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NO. I DON'T THINK I WANT TO ANSWER.

"NO. I DON'T THINK I WANT TO ANSWER."

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ANSWER IT.

"ANSWER IT."

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YEAH, I'VE SEEN HER NAKED.

"YEAH, I'VE SEEN HER NAKED."

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HELLO, MR. HEDGES, THIS IS DIANE CHAMBERS.

"HELLO, MR. HEDGES, THIS IS DIANE CHAMBERS."

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YOU'RE THE MOST ROTTEN, DISGUSTING PIG.

"YOU'RE THE MOST ROTTEN, DISGUSTING PIG."

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I WOULDN'T WORK FOR YOU IF IT WAS--

"I WOULDN'T WORK FOR YOU IF IT WAS--"

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HOW MUCH?

"HOW MUCH?"

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DOES THAT INCLUDE MEDICAL?

"DOES THAT INCLUDE MEDICAL?"

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WHAT AM I SAYING?

"WHAT AM I SAYING?"

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I WOULDN'T TAKE YOUR JOB

"I WOULDN'T TAKE YOUR JOB"

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IF IT WERE THE LAST ONE IN BOSTON.

"IF IT WERE THE LAST ONE IN BOSTON."

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YOU TOLD HIM, DIANE.

"YOU TOLD HIM, DIANE."

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I CAN KISS THAT 50 BUCKS GOOD-BYE.

"I CAN KISS THAT 50 BUCKS GOOD-BYE."

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HE WAS ONLY INTERESTED IN MY BODY.

"HE WAS ONLY INTERESTED IN MY BODY."

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YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I'M JUST ASHAMED TO BE A GUY,

"YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES I'M JUST ASHAMED TO BE A GUY,"

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BUT IF I MADE THE SWITCH NOW,

"BUT IF I MADE THE SWITCH NOW,"

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I'D HAVE TO BUY A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE.

"I'D HAVE TO BUY A WHOLE NEW WARDROBE."

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MEN ARE BEGINNING TO REALLY DISGUST ME,

"MEN ARE BEGINNING TO REALLY DISGUST ME,"

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EVEN MORE THAN BEFORE.

"EVEN MORE THAN BEFORE."

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OH, HEY. COME ON, LIGHTEN UP HERE.

"OH, HEY. COME ON, LIGHTEN UP HERE."

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I MEAN, ONE ROTTEN APPLE JUST--

"I MEAN, ONE ROTTEN APPLE JUST--"

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NO, NO. NOT ONE.

"NO, NO. NOT ONE."

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WE'RE TALKING ORCHARDS HERE.

"WE'RE TALKING ORCHARDS HERE."

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THE FEW SCANT OFFERS I'VE HAD FOR A JOB

"THE FEW SCANT OFFERS I'VE HAD FOR A JOB"

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HAVE ALL HAD SEXUAL STRINGS ATTACHED.

"HAVE ALL HAD SEXUAL STRINGS ATTACHED."

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BOY, IT JUST MAKES ME CRAZY TO THINK OF THOSE GUYS

"BOY, IT JUST MAKES ME CRAZY TO THINK OF THOSE GUYS"

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TREATING MY SQUEEZE LIKE A SEX OBJECT.

"TREATING MY SQUEEZE LIKE A SEX OBJECT."

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HEAR, HEAR.

"HEAR, HEAR."

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WELL, I GUESS I'M NOT GOING TO GET ANY PURELY PROFESSIONAL OFFERS.

"WELL, I GUESS I'M NOT GOING TO GET ANY PURELY PROFESSIONAL OFFERS."

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LISTEN, LISTEN, WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME BACK HERE TO THE BAR?

"LISTEN, LISTEN, WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME BACK HERE TO THE BAR?"

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I MEAN, THIS IS WHERE YOU BELONG, THIS IS WHERE YOUR PEOPLE ARE,

"I MEAN, THIS IS WHERE YOU BELONG, THIS IS WHERE YOUR PEOPLE ARE,"

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WHERE YOUR FRIENDS ARE,

"WHERE YOUR FRIENDS ARE,"

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WHERE YOUR BIG GUY ARE. HUH?

"WHERE YOUR BIG GUY ARE. HUH?"

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WHERE MY HEART ARE.

"WHERE MY HEART ARE."

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YEAH. HEY, GUYS, I THINK SHE'S COMING BACK.

"YEAH. HEY, GUYS, I THINK SHE'S COMING BACK."

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YAY.

"YAY."

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HEY, WHY DON'T YOU LET ME GO GET MY COAT...

"HEY, WHY DON'T YOU LET ME GO GET MY COAT..."

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THEN WE'LL GO OVER TO MY PLACE...

"THEN WE'LL GO OVER TO MY PLACE..."

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AND WE'LL CELEBRATE YOUR HOMECOMING.

"AND WE'LL CELEBRATE YOUR HOMECOMING."

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GREAT.

"GREAT."

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YOU MAY NEED THIS.

"YOU MAY NEED THIS."

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SAM, I WAS JUST THINKING.

"SAM, I WAS JUST THINKING."

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OH, YEAH? I TRIED THAT ONCE. NEVER CARED FOR IT.

"OH, YEAH? I TRIED THAT ONCE. NEVER CARED FOR IT."

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COME ON, LET'S GO.

"COME ON, LET'S GO."

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[COUGHING]

"[COUGHING]"

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SAM.

"SAM."

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NICE, HUH?

"NICE, HUH?"

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WHY DID YOU REHIRE ME JUST NOW?

"WHY DID YOU REHIRE ME JUST NOW?"

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I HIRED YOU

"I HIRED YOU"

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BECAUSE YOU'RE THE BEST COMBINATION GIRLFRIEND/WAITRESS

"BECAUSE YOU'RE THE BEST COMBINATION GIRLFRIEND/WAITRESS"

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IN THE CITY,

"IN THE CITY,"

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AND YOU STINK AS A WAITRESS.

"AND YOU STINK AS A WAITRESS."

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EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT.

"EXACTLY WHAT I THOUGHT."

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YOU HIRED ME FOR SEXUAL PURPOSES,

"YOU HIRED ME FOR SEXUAL PURPOSES,"

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JUST LIKE THAT SWINE MR. HEDGES WANTED TO DO.

"JUST LIKE THAT SWINE MR. HEDGES WANTED TO DO."

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OH, COME ON. IT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT.

"OH, COME ON. IT'S COMPLETELY DIFFERENT."

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HOW IS IT COMPLETELY DIFFERENT?

"HOW IS IT COMPLETELY DIFFERENT?"

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WELL...

"WELL..."

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ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, FOR INSTANCE, UH...

"ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT, FOR INSTANCE, UH..."

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YOU'RE NUTS ABOUT ME.

"YOU'RE NUTS ABOUT ME."

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YES. BUT WHO KNOWS?

"YES. BUT WHO KNOWS?"

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IN TIME, I MAY HAVE BECOME NUTS ABOUT HIM.

"IN TIME, I MAY HAVE BECOME NUTS ABOUT HIM."

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WELL, WE HAD A FEW THINGS IN COMMON.

"WELL, WE HAD A FEW THINGS IN COMMON."

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WE BOTH FOUND ME ADORABLE.

"WE BOTH FOUND ME ADORABLE."

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THAT'S GOOD.

"THAT'S GOOD."

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THIS IS SERIOUS HERE.

"THIS IS SERIOUS HERE."

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ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

"ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT."

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NOW, HOW CAN I COME BACK HERE

"NOW, HOW CAN I COME BACK HERE"

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KNOWING THAT YOU THINK OF ME

"KNOWING THAT YOU THINK OF ME"

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AS NOTHING BUT YOUR...HANDMAIDEN?

"AS NOTHING BUT YOUR...HANDMAIDEN?"

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YOU KNOW, DIANE,

"YOU KNOW, DIANE,"

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IT GETS ME THE WAY YOU WOMEN

"IT GETS ME THE WAY YOU WOMEN"

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ARE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT SEX ON THE JOB,

"ARE ALWAYS TALKING ABOUT SEX ON THE JOB,"

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I MEAN, AS IF YOU'RE THE ONLY VICTIMS.

"I MEAN, AS IF YOU'RE THE ONLY VICTIMS."

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WHAT ABOUT ME?

"WHAT ABOUT ME?"

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WHAT ABOUT YOU?

"WHAT ABOUT YOU?"

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YOU TELLING ME YOU TOOK THIS JOB

"YOU TELLING ME YOU TOOK THIS JOB"

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BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BE A WAITRESS?

"BECAUSE YOU WANTED TO BE A WAITRESS?"

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ABSOLUTELY NOT. I...

"ABSOLUTELY NOT. I..."

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I HAD A BURNING DESIRE

"I HAD A BURNING DESIRE"

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TO DISCOVER AND EXPLORE

"TO DISCOVER AND EXPLORE"

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THIS VEIN OF AMERICAN CULTURE.

"THIS VEIN OF AMERICAN CULTURE."

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BULL. YOU HAD A BURNING DESIRE

"BULL. YOU HAD A BURNING DESIRE"

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TO DISCOVER AND EXPLORE MOUNT SAMMY HERE.

"TO DISCOVER AND EXPLORE MOUNT SAMMY HERE."

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WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?"

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I'M SAYING YOU TOOK THIS JOB BECAUSE I WAS HERE.

"I'M SAYING YOU TOOK THIS JOB BECAUSE I WAS HERE."

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YOU HAD SEX ON YOUR MIND, TOO.

"YOU HAD SEX ON YOUR MIND, TOO."

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THAT'S NOT TRUE.

"THAT'S NOT TRUE."

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NOT ENTIRELY TRUE.

"NOT ENTIRELY TRUE."

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YEAH. WELL, HOW DO YOU THINK IT MAKES ME FEEL

"YEAH. WELL, HOW DO YOU THINK IT MAKES ME FEEL"

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KNOWING THE FIRST TIME YOU SAW ME

"KNOWING THE FIRST TIME YOU SAW ME"

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YOU UNDRESSED ME WITH YOUR EYES?

"YOU UNDRESSED ME WITH YOUR EYES?"

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YOU HAVE NO REGARD FOR MY DIGNITY AS A MAN,

"YOU HAVE NO REGARD FOR MY DIGNITY AS A MAN,"

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AS AN EMPLOYER.

"AS AN EMPLOYER."

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I WAS JUST A CHALLENGE TO YOU,

"I WAS JUST A CHALLENGE TO YOU,"

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ANOTHER NOTCH ON YOUR BELT.

"ANOTHER NOTCH ON YOUR BELT."

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WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MISS CHAMBERS,

"WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, MISS CHAMBERS,"

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I'M A PERSON, I HAVE DIGNITY, TOO, YOU KNOW.

"I'M A PERSON, I HAVE DIGNITY, TOO, YOU KNOW."

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I KNOW YOU HAVE NO REGARD FOR THIS JOB.

"I KNOW YOU HAVE NO REGARD FOR THIS JOB."

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YOU CONTINUALLY TELL ME

"YOU CONTINUALLY TELL ME"

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THAT I HAVE THE BRAIN OF A CUCUMBER.

"THAT I HAVE THE BRAIN OF A CUCUMBER."

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SO WHAT'S LEFT? THE ONLY THING THAT'S LEFT

"SO WHAT'S LEFT? THE ONLY THING THAT'S LEFT"

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IS THAT YOU WANT YOUR PHYSICAL LUST SATISFIED,

"IS THAT YOU WANT YOUR PHYSICAL LUST SATISFIED,"

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AND THAT'S WHERE I COME IN.

"AND THAT'S WHERE I COME IN."

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WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO.

"WELL, THERE'S ONLY ONE THING TO DO."

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I KNOW, I KNOW.

"I KNOW, I KNOW."

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I'LL UNDRESS AND DO MY DUTY.

"I'LL UNDRESS AND DO MY DUTY."

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NO, NO.

"NO, NO."

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NO, YOU'VE SHOWN ME THE LIGHT.

"NO, YOU'VE SHOWN ME THE LIGHT."

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I'VE BEEN A CAD.

"I'VE BEEN A CAD."

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OK. I PROPOSE THAT YOU AND I

"OK. I PROPOSE THAT YOU AND I"

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ABSTAIN FROM ANY SORT OF PHYSICAL CONTACT

"ABSTAIN FROM ANY SORT OF PHYSICAL CONTACT"

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FOR A PERIOD OF ONE MONTH.

"FOR A PERIOD OF ONE MONTH."

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STRICTLY BUSINESS FOR ONE MONTH.

"STRICTLY BUSINESS FOR ONE MONTH."

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I THINK IT'S THE ONLY WAY THAT EACH OF US CAN REGAIN OUR SELF-RESPECT.

"I THINK IT'S THE ONLY WAY THAT EACH OF US CAN REGAIN OUR SELF-RESPECT."

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I THINK THAT'S A VERY GOOD IDEA.

"I THINK THAT'S A VERY GOOD IDEA."

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IT WOULD HELP ME OUT A LOT.

"IT WOULD HELP ME OUT A LOT."

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FINE. ONE MONTH IT IS, MR. MALONE.

"FINE. ONE MONTH IT IS, MR. MALONE."

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