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Clips from This Fool - A Fresh Start (S01E01)

"- Thank you."
This Fool
"Okay. Imma submit the application"
This Fool
"right"
This Fool
"n-n-now."
This Fool
"[explosion]"
This Fool
"LUIS: Hey, fool, you still limping?"
This Fool
"If you were a horse, they'd have to take you out back"
This Fool
"and do you like they did Old Yeller."
This Fool
"[imitates gunshot]"
This Fool
"- Hey, where'd you get that suit?"
This Fool
"[high-pitched voice] The kid's section of JCPenney?"
This Fool
"- Hey! I need both of you to come with me right now."
This Fool
"Our oven exploded last night."
This Fool
"We have a huge order to fill at Northgate Market."
This Fool
"If we don't deliver, they're gonna cancel the whole fuckin' contract, okay?"
This Fool
"- The oven exploded? How?"
This Fool
"- I don't know. Gas leak or some shit."
This Fool
"Probably we're just fuckin' cursed."
This Fool
"But seriously, we gotta go."
This Fool
"JULIO: Fool, we got a lot of shit to set up"
This Fool
"for the graduation ceremony."
This Fool
"- You got wax in your ears or what?"
This Fool
"I said we gotta go!"
This Fool
"- Alight, alright. Payne, we got you."
This Fool
"But aren't you gonna compliment my suit first?"
This Fool
"- Get in the van!"
This Fool
"- Alright. Come on, let's go."
This Fool
"- Payne, why did we park all the way down here?"
This Fool
"Now we gotta walk up this steep-ass hill."
This Fool
"- You think that fuckin' van's gonna make it up this hill?"
This Fool
"LUIS: This shit is steep."
This Fool
"I'm wearing the wrong fuckin' shoes for this."
This Fool
"- Okay, listen, I don't have enough cash to cover the price"
This Fool
"this guy is asking me for the oven,"
This Fool
"so I'm gonna have to negotiate him down a bit."
This Fool
"Just go along with whatever I say."
This Fool
"- Wait. But we just got that big-ass donation."
This Fool
"- We don't have the money yet."
This Fool
"Billionaires are on billionaire time."
This Fool
"- Hey, but didn't they give you a check after you smashed that dude's wife?"
This Fool
"MINISTER PAYNE: Yes, but I lost it, okay?"
This Fool
"So I'm waiting for them to send me another."
This Fool
"Until then, we're strapped for cash."
This Fool
"- Wait. You lost a $15 million check?"
This Fool
"- Hey, I'm the one who whored himself out, okay?"
This Fool
"You guys were the ducks, I was the goose."
This Fool
"Cut me a little fuckin' slack, okay?"
This Fool
"- Dawg, you okay? - I'm fine. Let's just focus here."
This Fool
"LUIS: Hey, we should have just made 'em"
This Fool
"give you one of those big-ass checks like when you win the lottery, you know."
This Fool
"- Yeah. You can't lose those."
This Fool
"- So, like I said before, it's a thousand for the oven."
This Fool
"MINISTER PAYNE: A thousand? No! No, no, no, no, no."
This Fool
"First of all, it looks a lot smaller than it did in the photos."
This Fool
"It actually looks tiny."
This Fool
"It's basically like an Easy-Bake Oven."
This Fool
"Come on, this ain't worth a grand."
This Fool
"- I put the dimensions in the listing. The oven's a thousand."
This Fool
"If you don't want it, I got someone else that's interested."
This Fool
"- Well, do you have a measuring tape around"
This Fool
"so I can double check these dimensions?"
This Fool
"Not that I don't trust you, but... I guess I don't."
This Fool
"[sighs]"
This Fool
"[door opens]"
This Fool
"[door closes]"
This Fool
"Okay, each of you grab a side. We're gonna steal this shit."
This Fool
"- Payne, you're acting fuckin' nuts."
This Fool
"- Hey, no can do, Dr. Payne."
This Fool
"I work in loss prevention now."
This Fool
"Stealing goes against everything I stand for as a security officer."
This Fool
"- You don't wanna help me? Fine, alright?"
This Fool
"It's up to me to be the goddamn goose again."
This Fool
"Okay. Okay."
This Fool
"Hammer time, bitches."
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"- Ohh! - Oh, shit."
This Fool
"- What the fuck?"
This Fool
"- I just noticed this big dent right here on the side of the oven."
This Fool
"Now, with a dent like this, I can't give you more than 500 bucks."
This Fool
"- You're holding the fuckin' sledgehammer in your hand!"
This Fool
"I'm calling the cops!"
This Fool
"- I would think twice about that if I were you, alright?"
This Fool
"You ever hear of Hugs Not Thugs?"
This Fool
"These two psychos right here, they're gang members."
This Fool
"- Isn't that the place that reforms gang members?"
This Fool
"MINISTER PAYNE: Yeah."
This Fool
"And sometimes we don't do our job right and they don't get reformed."
This Fool
"LUIS: Hold up. I'm reformed, alright?"
This Fool
"Homey, I got a job and everything."
This Fool
"MINISTER PAYNE: He's the exception to the rule."
This Fool
"But this sick fuck right over here, Julio Loco,"
This Fool
"he's gonna do the job for him."
This Fool
"- That guy's no gangster."
This Fool
"He looks like he likes Morrissey."
This Fool
"- I fuckin' hate Morrissey!"
This Fool
"- Well, your stupid pompadour says different."
This Fool
"- Oh, fuck you. This is a gentleman's cut."
This Fool
"Whoa!"
This Fool
"- The value keeps going down."
This Fool
"- Okay, fine. You can have it for $500."
This Fool
"Just get the fuck out of my garage."
This Fool
"- Appreciate it."
This Fool
"Okay, let's go."
This Fool
"- Hey, Louis, I don't care that you're a rent-a-cop."
This Fool
"Give us a hand here."
This Fool
"- Hey, you're lucky I don't snitch on you fools."
This Fool
"I'm a civilian now, so we're allowed to snitch."
This Fool
"- Payne, why'd you bash the oven?"
This Fool
"Who knows if it'll even work now?"
This Fool
"- Just shut up!"
This Fool
"[bone cracks] [groans]"
This Fool
"Julio! Don't let go!"
This Fool
"- Sorry, I rolled my ankle, but I got it now."
This Fool
"MINISTER PAYNE: Okay. - I got. [screams]"
This Fool
"- Julio! Julio!"
This Fool
"[screams] Fuck!"
This Fool
"Fuck!"
This Fool
"- Oh, fuck!"
This Fool
"ALL: Ohh!"
This Fool
"LUIS: Shit."
This Fool
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