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Clips from This Fool - A Fresh Start (S01E01)

"- God damn."
This Fool
"ALL: Ohh!"
This Fool
"[alarm blaring]"
This Fool
"- That's it."
This Fool
"We're losing the account."
This Fool
"LUIS: It's all good."
This Fool
"We have $15 million coming in."
This Fool
"We can buy a new van."
This Fool
"- Guess we're gonna have to catch a ride to graduation."
This Fool
"Should we call 9-1-1?"
This Fool
"- Nah."
This Fool
"Just leave it."
This Fool
"[blaring continues]"
This Fool
"[crow cawing]"
This Fool
"- I want to congratulate this class of huggers for their hard work,"
This Fool
"as well as their families for supporting them"
This Fool
"through this tough transition in their life."
This Fool
"But I also wanna congratulate... me,"
This Fool
"for putting up with the most difficult person"
This Fool
"I've ever dealt with as a caseworker."
This Fool
"My dumb-ass cousin Luis. [laughter]"
This Fool
"I see you, playboy."
This Fool
"- Hey, fuck you, primo."
This Fool
"- Now I want to introduce one of the greatest people I've ever met."
This Fool
"This man will do anything for this program,"
This Fool
"and I mean anything."
This Fool
"His generosity is abnormally big."
This Fool
"Ladies and gentlemen,"
This Fool
"put your hands together for Minister Payne."
This Fool
"♪ hip-hop song playing ♪"
This Fool
"[cheering]"
This Fool
"- Yeah! - Whoo!"
This Fool
"- Please."
This Fool
"That's enough. Thank you."
This Fool
"There's no need for applause. There's no need for music."
This Fool
"Seriously stop. We need to move out."
This Fool
"♪ song continues ♪"
This Fool
"You can stop now."
This Fool
"Turn off the fuckin' music or I'll kill you!"
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"♪ song stops ♪"
This Fool
"I'm gonna keep this short."
This Fool
"Um, I wanna say big congratulations"
This Fool
"to the last graduating class of Hugs Not Thugs."
This Fool
"Very proud of... - [whispers] Last?"
This Fool
"MINISTER PAYNE: ...the hard work you've done."
This Fool
"Unfortunately, as of today,"
This Fool
"we are shutting down."
This Fool
"[all gasp]"
This Fool
"- Hey, Payne, you're joking, right?"
This Fool
"- We ran out of money."
This Fool
"And it's all my fault."
This Fool
"I fucked everything up."
This Fool
"Except for the one thing I actually needed to fuck."
This Fool
"Uh, you don't know what I'm talking about. Screw it."
This Fool
"There's no reason why I can't tell you all everything."
This Fool
"Um, last week, a huge potential donor stopped by and offered us"
This Fool
"$15 million in grant money."
This Fool
"And all this kind soul asked of us in return"
This Fool
"was that I should fuck his wife in front of him."
This Fool
"That's it."
This Fool
"Now, I've always said I would do anything,"
This Fool
"anything at all to keep Hugs Not Thugs alive."
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"But I couldn't do it this time."
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"I wanted to."
This Fool
"I tried to."
This Fool
"But the truth is,"
This Fool
"my P was simply too big for her V."
This Fool
"[murmuring]"
This Fool
"[sighs]"
This Fool
"For those of you who don't know,"
This Fool
"I am swinging a big club down there."
This Fool
"That's been an issue my entire life."
This Fool
"That's one of the many reasons my ex-wife divorced me."
This Fool
"I haven't had a date in two and a half years"
This Fool
"because I cannot bear the humiliation"
This Fool
"of buying condoms in a fucking novelty store."
This Fool
"Between whoopee cushions and fake rubber asses,"
This Fool
"that's my world."
This Fool
"- And don't let anyone ever tell you"
This Fool
"size doesn't matter, because it does,"
This Fool
"and it's ruining our lives right now! All of our lives!"
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"Anyway, those fucking billionaire fucks tore up that check"
This Fool
"right in front of me and my big dawg."
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"So, thank you all for coming."
This Fool
"And I apologize for messing everything up."
This Fool
"- Nah. Nah, nah!"
This Fool
"Hey, we can't let this place close just 'cause Payne has a big-ass chorizo."
This Fool
"MAN: That's right. Yeah, that's right. [all agreeing]"
This Fool
"LUIS: We owe a lot to this place"
This Fool
"and to Dr. Payne."
This Fool
"Everybody pull out your wallets. Just pony up."
This Fool
"We gotta save Hugs Not Thugs."
This Fool
"[murmuring]"
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"- We're $250,000 in debt."
This Fool
"♪"
This Fool
"Oh, I forgot to mention this is the point in the night"
This Fool
"where we become a warehouse sale,"
This Fool
"so, uh, take whatever you want."
This Fool
"A memento, some merch, a couch."
This Fool
"Go nuts. We're done here."
This Fool
"Very sorry."
This Fool
"You know, the world does not roll out the red carpet for you"
This Fool
"when you start a nonprofit."
This Fool
"They raise your rent."
This Fool
"They deny you grants,"
This Fool
"and then they tell you your penis is too big for their vagina."
This Fool
"I've come to realize it's almost impossible"
This Fool
"to be a good person."
This Fool
"- So you're just gonna give up on all this shit?"
This Fool
"MINISTER PAYNE: For now."
This Fool
"To be honest, part of me is relieved that Hugs Not Thugs is closing."
This Fool
"I mean, the constant stress of keeping this place afloat was killin' me."
This Fool
"- I've put years of my life into this place."
This Fool
"I fuckin' need this."
This Fool
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