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Clips from The Goldbergs - Baio and Switch (S03E03)

"and make sure they go to sleep with full tum-tums."
The Goldbergs
"Me! You're damn right it's you."
The Goldbergs
"Now go out and get yourself the biggest celebrity"
The Goldbergs
"this god-forsaken town's ever seen."
The Goldbergs
"(MUSIC PLAYING) Oh."
The Goldbergs
"Sorry. My bad, little ones. You guys okay?"
The Goldbergs
"All right, let's take a breather. Who wants water?"
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: That night, I was also on a mission."
The Goldbergs
"Make a foolproof plan to bring two dates to the same dance."
The Goldbergs
"All right, boys, let's run this again. What are we looking at?"
The Goldbergs
"The gym is 94x50 feet."
The Goldbergs
"That leave us with two large zones to keep the girls apart."
The Goldbergs
"Check. Let's talk song list."
The Goldbergs
"We're looking at 16 songs lasting 2 hours and 6 minutes including The Time Warp."
The Goldbergs
"Okay, let's do a dry run. Adam."
The Goldbergs
"The Terrordrome is our battlefield."
The Goldbergs
"I'm Michelangelo."
The Goldbergs
"Dana is Princess Leia."
The Goldbergs
"Emmy's the Hulk."
The Goldbergs
"Copy! Song 1?"
The Goldbergs
"Like A Prayer, Madonna."
The Goldbergs
"Dana and I dance."
The Goldbergs
"Then I say I got to hit the bathroom and run to Emmy."
The Goldbergs
"Song 2? Careless Whisper, Wham!"
The Goldbergs
"I tell Emmy I'll grab her punch"
The Goldbergs
"then run back to Dana for a slow dance."
The Goldbergs
"I interrupt and pretend I lost my contact lens."
The Goldbergs
"I leave to help Dave Kim, then book it back to Emmy."
The Goldbergs
"See that? Working as a team together."
The Goldbergs
"Trust me... This whole thing is wired."
The Goldbergs
"(DOORBELL RINGS)"
The Goldbergs
"What the hell? 'Sup, jerk?"
The Goldbergs
"Balls."
The Goldbergs
"You didn't know she was staying with me?"
The Goldbergs
"Balls' balls."
The Goldbergs
"Hello, my name is Dave Kim. I lost my contact lens."
The Goldbergs
"Dana, can you help me find it for 8 to 10 minutes out of earshot?"
The Goldbergs
"Not now, Dave Kim. It's gone to hell."
The Goldbergs
"We didn't even make it out of the house."
The Goldbergs
"I know. I know! Two dates can't be done!"
The Goldbergs
"Dude, he's created a whole nerd world to plot against us."
The Goldbergs
"This is super-creepy, Adam."
The Goldbergs
"My God, did you make me the Hulk?"
The Goldbergs
"Yes, but only 'cause I don't like you when you're angry."
The Goldbergs
"This is so scheming and disrespectful."
The Goldbergs
"No, please, don't start doubting my character."
The Goldbergs
"Group hug? Ugh, just leave us alone, liar."
The Goldbergs
"(SIGHS)"
The Goldbergs
"Okay. New advice... Lay low."
The Goldbergs
"Now, that, I can pull off."
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: But that was impossible 'cause the next day,"
The Goldbergs
"literally everyone in the country gathered for Hands Across America."
The Goldbergs
"Adam, over here! It's your Mama."
The Goldbergs
"So instead, I hid."
The Goldbergs
"Don't ignore me. I'm regional captain."
The Goldbergs
"I deserve respect. No, no, no."
The Goldbergs
"Shh! I'm hiding in the shadows, okay?"
The Goldbergs
"What are you talking about?"
The Goldbergs
"Today is the day that me and my kids"
The Goldbergs
"finally get on the front page of the newspaper."
The Goldbergs
"All of us... No exceptions."
The Goldbergs
"Yes, I'll hide with you people."
The Goldbergs
"Block my head with your enormous hair."
The Goldbergs
"I'm so nervous for Baio."
The Goldbergs
"My hands are super-sweaty but soft."
The Goldbergs
"I've been moisturizing all day. So where is he?"
The Goldbergs
"Yeah, where's the Scottster anyway? Oh, my God, no!"
The Goldbergs
"You can't lure Scott with your off-the-shoulder crop top and short skirt."
The Goldbergs
"You really think I would use my young feminine form to get Scott Baio's attention?"
The Goldbergs
"I do look good, though, right?"
The Goldbergs
"Uh, actually, I have some good news, bad news."
The Goldbergs
"Uh, the bad news is baio's not coming."
The Goldbergs
"What? You monster!"
The Goldbergs
"No, stop it."
The Goldbergs
"I actually got a bigger celebrity."
The Goldbergs
"Michael Jackson? Rob Lowe?"
The Goldbergs
"Jermaine Jackson."
The Goldbergs
"Better. I have the most famous person in Philadelphia history."
The Goldbergs
"Please give a warm Hands Across America welcome to Ben Franklin."
The Goldbergs
"Good morrow, fellow colonists."
The Goldbergs
"I am founding father, Benjamin Franklin."
The Goldbergs
"Allow me to gaze upon you through my bifocals,"
The Goldbergs
"which I invented in 1784."
The Goldbergs
"Why is this thing still talking?"
The Goldbergs
"Ooh, the paper's here. Okay, everybody, hold hands and sing."
The Goldbergs
"Bev, I don't think the rest of the country is ready just yet."
The Goldbergs
"You never even had Scott Baio, did you?"
The Goldbergs
"No time to talk. All right, Adam..."
The Goldbergs
"Stop hiding in my hair."
The Goldbergs
"Ooh! Emmy, Dana, come and hold hands and take a picture."
The Goldbergs
"We'd rather not. They'd really rather not."
The Goldbergs
"Okay, well, it's not a choice."
The Goldbergs
"Every hand not held is another homeless family."
The Goldbergs
"I don't think... Okay, just do it, just do it, just do it."
The Goldbergs
"Photographers! Smile, smile. Teeth, teeth."
The Goldbergs
"I'd like to, but they're crushing my bones with their strong lady hands."
The Goldbergs
"Mine, too. I'm just a pawn!"
The Goldbergs
"(BOTH GROANING)"
The Goldbergs
"This is a nightmare!"
The Goldbergs
"How are they stronger than us?"
The Goldbergs
"ADULT ADAM: The moment had come."
The Goldbergs
"It was finally time to hold Hands Across America."
The Goldbergs
"Boys, quick! Grab mommy's hands!"
The Goldbergs
"Holy crap, it's happening."
The Goldbergs
"Okay. Come on, you guys."
The Goldbergs
"You've got to hold my hand."
The Goldbergs
"Hold my hand, damn it!"
The Goldbergs
"No way. You lied to us."
The Goldbergs
"Beverly, what are you doing?"
The Goldbergs
"Come on, it's time. Hold hands."
The Goldbergs
"Kids, do it."
The Goldbergs
"Never. Hold my hands."
The Goldbergs
"We will hold no hands."
The Goldbergs
"What is wrong with you people?!"
The Goldbergs
"Please! No way."
The Goldbergs
"This is for the homeless!"
The Goldbergs
"Hold my hands."
The Goldbergs
"No way. Hold hands!"
The Goldbergs
"Please, just hold my hands."
The Goldbergs
"Never. No way."
The Goldbergs
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