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Clips from Monty Python's Flying Circus - The Ant, an Introduction (S01E01)

And get a haircut, you pansy!

"And get a haircut, you pansy!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Morning.

"Morning."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Ah, morning sir, morning, morning.

"Ah, morning sir, morning, morning."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'll b-b-be with you in a minute.

"I'll b-b-be with you in a minute."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh, fine, fine.

"Oh, fine, fine."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Um, how... how do you like it, sir?

"Um, how... how do you like it, sir?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Just short back and sides, please.

"Just short back and sides, please."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

How do you do that?

"How do you do that?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Just ordinary short back and sides.

"Just ordinary short back and sides."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

It's not a, um, a razor cut...

"It's not a, um, a razor cut..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Razor razor razor razor cut!

"Razor razor razor razor cut!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Blood spurt artery murder!

"Blood spurt artery murder!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh, thank god, thank god.

"Oh, thank god, thank god."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

It's just, uh... scissors.

"It's just, uh... scissors."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes, yes.

"Yes, yes."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

You wouldn't rather have it just combed, would you, sir?

"You wouldn't rather have it just combed, would you, sir?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I beg your pardon?

"I beg your pardon?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

You wouldn't rather forget all about it?

"You wouldn't rather forget all about it?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

No, no, no, I want it cut.

"No, no, no, I want it cut."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Cut cut cut cut cut cut!

"Cut cut cut cut cut cut!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Blood spurt artery murder!

"Blood spurt artery murder!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Hitchcock psycho blood damn it!

"Hitchcock psycho blood damn it!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Right, so I'll get e-e-everything ready.

"Right, so I'll get e-e-everything ready."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

In the meantime

"In the meantime"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Perhaps you'd fill in one of these.

"Perhaps you'd fill in one of these."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

All right, fine, yes.

"All right, fine, yes."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Excuse me.

"Excuse me."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

What?

"What?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Where it says next of kin

"Where it says next of kin"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Should i put mother?

"Should i put mother?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

"Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

There we are.

"There we are."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Thank you.

"Thank you."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Right.

"Right."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Ha ha.

"Ha ha."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Ha ha.

"Ha ha."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

There. finished.

"There. finished."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I finished cutting cutting

"I finished cutting cutting"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Cutting cutting cutting cutting cutting your hair.

"Cutting cutting cutting cutting cutting your hair."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

It's all done.

"It's all done."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

You haven't started cutting it.

"You haven't started cutting it."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I have.

"I have."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I did it very quickly, your honor...

"I did it very quickly, your honor..."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Sir... sir, sir, sir.

"Sir... sir, sir, sir."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Look here, old fellow.

"Look here, old fellow."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I know when a chap's cut my hair

"I know when a chap's cut my hair"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And when he hasn't

"And when he hasn't"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

So will you please stop fooling around

"So will you please stop fooling around"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And get on with it?

"And get on with it?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes... yes, I will, sir.

"Yes... yes, I will, sir."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'm going to cut your hair, sir.

"I'm going to cut your hair, sir."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'm going to start cutting your hair, sir.

"I'm going to start cutting your hair, sir."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Start cutting-- now.

"Start cutting-- now."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Nice day, sir.

"Nice day, sir."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes, flowers could do with a drop of rain there.

"Yes, flowers could do with a drop of rain there."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

You see the match last night, sir?

"You see the match last night, sir?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yeah, good game, I thought.

"Yeah, good game, I thought."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I thought hurst played well, sir.

"I thought hurst played well, sir."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Beg your pardon?

"Beg your pardon?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I thought hurst played well.

"I thought hurst played well."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh, yes, only one who did, though.

"Oh, yes, only one who did, though."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Can you put your head down a little, sir?

"Can you put your head down a little, sir?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh, sorry.

"Oh, sorry."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I prefer to watch palace nowadays.

"I prefer to watch palace nowadays."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Oh, sorry, was that your ear?

"Oh, sorry, was that your ear?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

No, no, didn't feel a thing.

"No, no, didn't feel a thing."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Hey! what's going on?

"Hey! what's going on?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Yes, it is a nice sport, isn't it?

"Yes, it is a nice sport, isn't it?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

It looks very nice, sir.

"It looks very nice, sir."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

It's exactly the same as when I first came in.

"It's exactly the same as when I first came in."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

All right!

"All right!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

All right, I confess

"All right, I confess"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I haven't cut your hair.

"I haven't cut your hair."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I hate cutting hair.

"I hate cutting hair."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I have this terrible un-un-un-uncontrollable fear

"I have this terrible un-un-un-uncontrollable fear"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Whenever I see hair.

"Whenever I see hair."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

When I was a kid

"When I was a kid"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I used to hate the sight of hair being cut.

"I used to hate the sight of hair being cut."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

My mother said I was a fool.

"My mother said I was a fool."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

She said the only way to cure it

"She said the only way to cure it"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Was become a barber.

"Was become a barber."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

So I spent five ghastly years

"So I spent five ghastly years"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

In the hairdresser's training center at totnes.

"In the hairdresser's training center at totnes."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Can you imagine what it's like--

"Can you imagine what it's like--"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Cutting the same head for five years!?

"Cutting the same head for five years!?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I didn't want to be a barber anyway.

"I didn't want to be a barber anyway."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I wanted to be a lumberjack.

"I wanted to be a lumberjack."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

Leaping from tree to tree

"Leaping from tree to tree"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

As they float down the mighty rivers of british columbia.

"As they float down the mighty rivers of british columbia."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

The giant redwood, the larch, the fir, the mighty scots pine.

"The giant redwood, the larch, the fir, the mighty scots pine."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

The smell of fresh-cut timber!

"The smell of fresh-cut timber!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

The crash of mighty trees!

"The crash of mighty trees!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

With my best girlie by my side.

"With my best girlie by my side."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

We'd sing... sing... sing!

"We'd sing... sing... sing!"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay

"I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I sleep all night, I work all day

"I sleep all night, I work all day"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

he's a lumberjack and he's oka y

"he's a lumberjack and he's oka y"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

he sleeps all night and he works all da y.

"he sleeps all night and he works all da y."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I cut down trees, I eat my lunch

"I cut down trees, I eat my lunch"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I go to the lavatory

"I go to the lavatory"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

On wednesdays I go shopping

"On wednesdays I go shopping"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And have buttered scones for tea.

"And have buttered scones for tea."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

he cuts down trees, he eats his lunch

"he cuts down trees, he eats his lunch"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

he goes to the la vatory

"he goes to the la vatory"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

on wednesda ys he goes shopping

"on wednesda ys he goes shopping"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

and has buttered scones for tea.

"and has buttered scones for tea."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

he's a lumberjack and he's oka y

"he's a lumberjack and he's oka y"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

he sleeps all night and he works all da y.

"he sleeps all night and he works all da y."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I cut down trees, I skip and jump

"I cut down trees, I skip and jump"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I like to press wild flowers

"I like to press wild flowers"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I put on women's clothing

"I put on women's clothing"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

And hang around in bars.

"And hang around in bars."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

he cuts down trees, he skips and jumps

"he cuts down trees, he skips and jumps"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

he likes to press wild flowers

"he likes to press wild flowers"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

he puts on women's clothing

"he puts on women's clothing"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

and hangs around in bars?

"and hangs around in bars?"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

he's a lumberjack and he's oka y

"he's a lumberjack and he's oka y"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

he sleeps all night

"he sleeps all night"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

and he works all da y.

"and he works all da y."

Monty Python's Flying Circus

I cut down trees, I wear high heels

"I cut down trees, I wear high heels"

Monty Python's Flying Circus

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