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Clips from Flight of the Conchords - What Goes on Tour? (S01E01)

"# If so, then how do you light it? #"
Flight of the Conchords
"# Are you the answer to a drunken sailor's Ionely wish? #"
Flight of the Conchords
"# Wish wish wish wish #"
Flight of the Conchords
"# Or are you an optical illusion caused by #"
Flight of the Conchords
"# A woman sitting on a rock holding half a fish? #"
Flight of the Conchords
"# Half a sexy fish. #"
Flight of the Conchords
"What's the time?"
Flight of the Conchords
"It's 4:35."
Flight of the Conchords
"Mmm. You did tell them room 1206, right?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, you were there. I wrote it down."
Flight of the Conchords
"Ah. Hmm."
Flight of the Conchords
"Bret, do you think maybe..."
Flight of the Conchords
"they're not coming, maybe?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- What? - Well..."
Flight of the Conchords
"we've been waiting for five hours."
Flight of the Conchords
"Hmm, maybe."
Flight of the Conchords
"Do you feel like a sparkling water?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Yeah, I'd love one. I wanted one three hours ago,"
Flight of the Conchords
"but you said Murray wouldn't let us."
Flight of the Conchords
"Hang on a minute."
Flight of the Conchords
"Murray?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- What? - Are you sleeping?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, I was, Bret. Trying to, anyway."
Flight of the Conchords
"- You comfortable? - No."
Flight of the Conchords
"- How's your party? - Mmm, it's all right."
Flight of the Conchords
"It's just Jemaine and me. The girls didn't show up."
Flight of the Conchords
"Aw. Never mind, eh?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Jemaine and I were wondering if we could have a sparkling water."
Flight of the Conchords
"- No. - We really need it."
Flight of the Conchords
"- No! - Please?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Not from the minibar. - Please."
Flight of the Conchords
"- No. - Please."
Flight of the Conchords
"Look, just pour some tap water and blow some bubbles in it."
Flight of the Conchords
"Mmm, it's not the same."
Flight of the Conchords
"Come on, I want to come out there."
Flight of the Conchords
"Mmm, well the girls still might show up."
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Good night. - Night night."
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay, hang on a minute, guys. I haven't settled the bill yet."
Flight of the Conchords
"Just a few questions."
Flight of the Conchords
"We didn't have anything from the minibar."
Flight of the Conchords
"No, I can see that, Bret. "Minibar charge, 0.00.""
Flight of the Conchords
"Right here after "Drinks charged to the room from hotel bar, $352.""
Flight of the Conchords
"How much was that water?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- The water was free. - Hang on, mates!"
Flight of the Conchords
"Someone wants me to move my car."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Band meeting! I'm just... - Waters were about $175."
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm doing a..."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Here we are, two waters. - Is that your signature?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Mmm? - Right there?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh no, that's my autograph."
Flight of the Conchords
"Yup, same... that's what a signature is."
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay, and there's the room number."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Uh... - Oh is that..."
Flight of the Conchords
"Hang on, mate!"
Flight of the Conchords
"- Okay. - Look, do us a favor and move the car."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Go on, quickly. - Oh, that's..."
Flight of the Conchords
"Go! Move the car."
Flight of the Conchords
"This is your doing, isn't it, Rod Stewart?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- You can tell. - It wasn't me, actually."
Flight of the Conchords
"The dead giveaway. Look at all that money."
Flight of the Conchords
"It was a women's water polo team."
Flight of the Conchords
"Okay, right, that makes sense."
Flight of the Conchords
"I'll tell them that. "Yeah, sorry,"
Flight of the Conchords
"it was polo players.""
Flight of the Conchords
"Must happen all the time, does it?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, I doubt if they're gonna listen to you."
Flight of the Conchords
"Is this a joke, Jemaine?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- No. - A big joke? $352 water polo joke?"
Flight of the Conchords
"- No. - Let me just go and fix it, shall I?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Give me the keys."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, they're in the car."
Flight of the Conchords
"Idiot."
Flight of the Conchords
"- Um, did you put the hand brake on? - Is it..."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, flub."
Flight of the Conchords
"I just don't understand what happened."
Flight of the Conchords
"I put the hand brake on."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well that's what happened. The Amer... on American cars,"
Flight of the Conchords
"the hand brake's on this side."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, I must have just adjusted the seat."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh, very rock 'n' roll, Bret."
Flight of the Conchords
"More rock 'n' roll than Jemaine."
Flight of the Conchords
"That's what you were going for, wasn't it?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, well done. Mission accomplished."
Flight of the Conchords
"First Jemaine with the mixed nuts,"
Flight of the Conchords
"then the TV."
Flight of the Conchords
"And finally, Bret, you drive my Honda into the pool!"
Flight of the Conchords
"Personally, I prefer the mixed nuts caper."
Flight of the Conchords
"- At least that was original. - Thank you."
Flight of the Conchords
"Murray, I didn't actually mean to put your car"
Flight of the Conchords
"into the swimming pool."
Flight of the Conchords
"I didn't... I didn't mean to buy those nuts."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, I didn't mean to put all my efforts"
Flight of the Conchords
"into looking after a couple of leather-clad lunatics"
Flight of the Conchords
"who don't give a damn about anyone but themselves."
Flight of the Conchords
"That's my mistake."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, we all... we've all made a mistake each,"
Flight of the Conchords
"so it sort of evens out."
Flight of the Conchords
"No! Okay, guys?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Look, the strategic union of Flight of the Conchords"
Flight of the Conchords
"and Murray Hewitt Productions is terminated."
Flight of the Conchords
"- What are you talking about? - What?"
Flight of the Conchords
"You know what I'm talking about. I'm quitting!"
Flight of the Conchords
"You can't quit the band. Bret usually quits the band."
Flight of the Conchords
"Well, this is my turn, okay?"
Flight of the Conchords
"I've had it with you guys!"
Flight of the Conchords
"I'm so angry I feel like swearing."
Flight of the Conchords
"Oh Murray, you wouldn't swear at us."
Flight of the Conchords
"Go fuck yourself, Bret!"
Flight of the Conchords
"N-J-U-W-W-P-T! Whoo!"
Flight of the Conchords
"Whoo!"
Flight of the Conchords
"Do you have any money for a bus?"
Flight of the Conchords
"No, do you?"
Flight of the Conchords
"No, none."
Flight of the Conchords
"I guess there's no choice, really."
Flight of the Conchords
"So, uh, have you and Mel been..."
Flight of the Conchords
"following us through this whole..."
Flight of the Conchords
"during this whole tour... tour, Doug?"
Flight of the Conchords
"Uh, it seems like it."
Flight of the Conchords
"Mel's in charge of the itinerary."
Flight of the Conchords
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