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Clips from Seinfeld - The Soul Mate (S08E08)

"-Do I smell Pantene? -Do I smell--?"
Seinfeld
"-Pantene! -Pantene?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, my shampoo."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, yeah, you know, it is Pantene."
Seinfeld
"I got a free sample of it in with my junk mail."
Seinfeld
"There really is no junk mail."
Seinfeld
"Everybody wants a check or birthday card--"
Seinfeld
"It requires just as much manpower to deliver as their precious cards--"
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"Newman."
Seinfeld
"What?"
Seinfeld
"Human. Human."
Seinfeld
"It's human to be moved by a fragrance."
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"That's so true."
Seinfeld
"Her bouquet cleaved his hardened--"
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"-Shell. -Shell"
Seinfeld
"And fondled his muscled heart"
Seinfeld
"He imbibed her glistening spell"
Seinfeld
"Just before the other shoe fell"
Seinfeld
"Kramer, that is so lovely."
Seinfeld
"It's by an unknown 20th century poet."
Seinfeld
"-Oh, what's him name? -Newman."
Seinfeld
"Elaine, you changed my life."
Seinfeld
"Oh, Kevin, you can go on and on about how you don't want kids..."
Seinfeld
"...and it sounds-- It sounds really nice..."
Seinfeld
"...but the truth is, I don't know if you mean it or not."
Seinfeld
"I got a vasectomy this morning."
Seinfeld
"Although, I have a hunch you mean it."
Seinfeld
"I just came by to tell you..."
Seinfeld
"...I'm really, really happy about this relationship. Really happy."
Seinfeld
"Oh, well, that's nice."
Seinfeld
"A velvet scrunchie."
Seinfeld
"Kramer."
Seinfeld
"Hello, Newman."
Seinfeld
"Hello, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"How's Pam?"
Seinfeld
"Pam? What do you care?"
Seinfeld
"Well, ta-ta."
Seinfeld
"Wait a minute."
Seinfeld
"All right, Newman, this is it."
Seinfeld
"Steady, Jerry."
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"Steady. Wouldn't wanna lose your cool at a time like this."
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"-Why not? -Because right now..."
Seinfeld
"...I'm the only chance you've got."
Seinfeld
"Come on."
Seinfeld
"I can't believe I'm losing Pam."
Seinfeld
"I know how you feel..."
Seinfeld
"...for I too have a woman for whom I pine."
Seinfeld
"-I thought we were talking about me. -Right."
Seinfeld
"Anyway, I don't need your help."
Seinfeld
"Oh, don't you, joke boy?"
Seinfeld
"You really think you can manipulate that beautiful young woman..."
Seinfeld
"...Iike the half-soused, nightclub rabble..."
Seinfeld
"...that lap up your inane "observations"?"
Seinfeld
"All right, Newman."
Seinfeld
"What do I to get you to stop pulling strings for Kramer?"
Seinfeld
"Well, there is a little something you can do for me."
Seinfeld
"Come on, out with it."
Seinfeld
"It's about Elaine."
Seinfeld
"Elaine? What does she have to--?"
Seinfeld
"Oh, no."
Seinfeld
"You dated her. Give me some inside information."
Seinfeld
"Anything I can use."
Seinfeld
"Well, I know she doesn't wanna have kids."
Seinfeld
"I thought you'd be a little more enthusiastic about it."
Seinfeld
"I know. I don't want...kids."
Seinfeld
"-What was that? -Well..."
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"...Kevin, maybe I have a little doubt."
Seinfeld
"I mean, nothing is 1 00 percent."
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"This is."
Seinfeld
"-Oh, boy, I always do this. -What?"
Seinfeld
"I get all jazzed up about something, and I go way too far with it."
Seinfeld
"-Really? -Oh, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Like last summer, I'm watching TV and I saw one of those jet skis."
Seinfeld
"Four thousand dollars later, and it's sitting in my garage."
Seinfeld
"You know, that's weird actually, because I'm sort of the same way."
Seinfeld
"I mean, once for, like, no reason, I flattened my hair..."
Seinfeld
"...and I had all these strands hanging in my face all the time."
Seinfeld
"Sometimes I think I do want kids, maybe a lot of kids."
Seinfeld
"Sometimes I think about wearing my hair real short."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, I think I like short hair, really short."
Seinfeld
"-Yeah. -Yeah."
Seinfeld
"This is a crude mock-up of the conference room."
Seinfeld
"One-fourteenth scale."
Seinfeld
"When did you build this thing?"
Seinfeld
"Yesterday. Took the day off."
Seinfeld
"Now, from the time that I left the room--"
Seinfeld
"-Wait. That's you? -Yeah."
Seinfeld
"I think the M&M should be you."
Seinfeld
"All right, whatever."
Seinfeld
"Now, whatever caused the damage..."
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"...it was jarring enough to completely stop the tape."
Seinfeld
"-And? -Okay."
Seinfeld
"That's what we know."
Seinfeld
"-But we already knew that. -Well, yeah."
Seinfeld
"Just give me some idea what you think it could be."
Seinfeld
"-I don't know if you're ready for it. -Please."
Seinfeld
"I believe that I'm about to become the target..."
Seinfeld
"...of a systematic process of intimidation and manipulation..."
Seinfeld
"-...the likes of which-- -Hold it. You're right. I'm not ready."
Seinfeld
"-Yeah? -It's Pam."
Seinfeld
"Come on up. All right, it's Pam. You gotta get going."
Seinfeld
"I'm not through here, Jerry."
Seinfeld
"I'm gonna keep on investigating."
Seinfeld
"This thing is like an onion."
Seinfeld
"The more layers you peel, the more it stinks."
Seinfeld
"What was that?"
Seinfeld
"We were just playing."
Seinfeld
"Listen, I had a long talk with Kramer today."
Seinfeld
"Well, the thing is l-- I think I have a little crush on him."
Seinfeld
"I'm so happy."
Seinfeld
"My world suddenly has meaning."
Seinfeld
"This is the man you have a crush on?"
Seinfeld
"Well, I have feelings for both of you."
Seinfeld
"You have feelings for him? We're soul mates."
Seinfeld
"Why can't I be a soul mate?"
Seinfeld
"Jerry, you really think Pam would want you to be the father of her children?"
Seinfeld
"Children?"
Seinfeld
"Who said anything about children? I don't wanna have children."
Seinfeld
"There are people in this room..."
Seinfeld
"...who would've been very happy to never see this briefcase again."
Seinfeld
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