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Clips from Central Park - Castle Sweet Castle (S02E02)

"- Um, feel what? - History."
Central Park
"- Uh-huh. Well, we-- - Shh. Please."
Central Park
"How long do we, uh--"
Central Park
"So let's talk about the upgrade."
Central Park
"Shouldn't be a problem as long as you respect the architecture."
Central Park
"And I'm respecting the heck outta these full timber beams."
Central Park
"Where have you beam all my life?"
Central Park
"This is going great. He loves our house. He loves us."
Central Park
"I can taste that permit,"
Central Park
"and it tastes like me doing laundry upstairs."
Central Park
"I know. Why did we ever think doing stuff was hard?"
Central Park
"Do you guys mind if I send these pictures to my fiancée?"
Central Park
"I know it's kind of unprofessional, but we're a couple of castle kooks."
Central Park
"Oh, fiancée? Congrats."
Central Park
"We used to be fiancés, so we all have a lot in common."
Central Park
"Ugh, you guys must love living here."
Central Park
"Just diving into the adventures of historical upkeep."
Central Park
"I'm guessing a lot of fun projects on the weekend, right?"
Central Park
"- So much. So much. - Yep, yep. Every weekend."
Central Park
"Ugh, so jealous. [chuckles]"
Central Park
"There are restoration-tunities everywhere you look."
Central Park
"♪ Oh, if this was mine I would say that ♪"
Central Park
"♪ The walls could use spickle spackle Refurbished trims of the mantels ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Take some years off of that chandelier Baby, do ya hear me? ♪"
Central Park
"♪ You should leave no stone unturned Deep wash this Goth architecture ♪"
Central Park
"♪ It's got the bones, just needs the fur ♪"
Central Park
"- Oh, my. That's quite a lot. - ♪ Yes, but ♪"
Central Park
"♪ A fairy tale awaits So maintain this old place, huh! ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Doors and floors, so much more You just need a few updates ♪"
Central Park
"- ♪ Once you give into the love ♪ - I'm giving in."
Central Park
"- ♪ Give into the love ♪ - What's happening?"
Central Park
"♪ Give into the magical love of this ♪"
Central Park
"[furniture, Iggy] ♪ Restoration ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Give some spit shine To this transom de cockatrice ♪"
Central Park
"♪ A pull-chain toilet That looks just like Socrates ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Rust! Hmm, I got a guy Who retouches this ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Less new appliances More flying buttresses ♪"
Central Park
"[sighs] Did we drop the ball on this legacy?"
Central Park
"So much to decorate and embellish."
Central Park
"♪ This could be a treat Like classic street meats ♪"
Central Park
"♪ It just needs the ketchup The mustard, the relish ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Place ain't been sheen Since 1860-something ♪"
Central Park
"- [furniture] ♪ You tell 'em ♪ - ♪ It's a piece of New York history ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Like a museum wing ♪"
Central Park
"- ♪ You tell 'em ♪ - ♪ Let's shine the knobs ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Polish the banister Up till now, its upkeep was amateur ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Let's make this castle something Out of our dreams ♪"
Central Park
"[vocalizing]"
Central Park
"Fantastic acoustics in here. Let's not mess with that."
Central Park
"♪ A fairy tale awaits So maintain this old place ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Once you give into the love Give into the love ♪"
Central Park
"♪ Give into the magical love of this ♪"
Central Park
"[furniture, Iggy] ♪ Restoration ♪"
Central Park
"So, yeah that's just a little list. Basic historical integrity stuff."
Central Park
"[chuckles] But let's get into what you guys wanna change."
Central Park
"Um, we wanted to move the washing machine upstairs"
Central Park
"so that it would be easier to do laundry."
Central Park
"Oh."
Central Park
""Oh"? Is that like a good "Oh"?"
Central Park
"It's just, historically, the laundering duties would never,"
Central Park
"and I mean never, have been done in the main living quarters."
Central Park
"So it was a bad "Oh" then."
Central Park
"Not to mention the potentially devastating structural impact"
Central Park
"of the rumble, rumble, tumble and the shake-ah, shake-ah,"
Central Park
"if said washing machine were to be moved upstairs!"
Central Park
"So, is that a maybe?"
Central Park
"It's a no. I'm sorry. And when I say, "I'm sorry," I'm talking to the house."
Central Park
"[whispers] I'm so, so sorry."
Central Park
"I'm gonna go now."
Central Park
"Oh, fantastic, the original basement floors of the Edendale Castle."
Central Park
"I probably shouldn't have taken that after saying no,"
Central Park
"but this place is truly magical!"
Central Park
"- [Helen] Yay, new limo test-drive. - Hmm."
Central Park
"I think this is the one. There are seat warmers, which is good"
Central Park
"because you're always saying how cold your butt gets."
Central Park
"There's a place to hold grapes for you to throw at pedestrians."
Central Park
"Great resale value for whomever inherits it."
Central Park
"There's even a partition so you won't have to tell me to stop breathing so loud."
Central Park
"- Can it, Jarvis. - My pleasure, Ms. Brandenham."
Central Park
"Ugh! I hate this car. Just take me home and fix me a drink."
Central Park
"Then you can exfoliate my feet and cut my toenails."
Central Park
"And don't wear gloves this time!"
Central Park
"But that's not even the longest time I've spent trapped in a revolving door."
Central Park
"Just the most recent. Anyway-- Oh! I forgot to teach you finger warm-ups!"
Central Park
"Just pretend you're tickling an imaginary person in front of you,"
Central Park
"with their permission."
Central Park
"My fingers are so warm right now."
Central Park
"- Mine are even hotter. Mine are burning. - Mine are roasting like little hot dogs."
Central Park
"Speaking of hot dogs,"
Central Park
"did I ever tell you about the time I went camping with my friend Banjo?"
Central Park
"These are great stories, but you know what else is great?"
Central Park
"Chords. Here's an A."
Central Park
"Sorry, Birdie. It's hard to concentrate when you're also playing."
Central Park
"[sighs] Sure. Yeah, that's fine. I'm pretty busy today too."
Central Park
"Lot of opportunities coming up."
Central Park
"Whoa, my phone's ringing. I'm gonna take this call behind this bush."
Central Park
"Carry on with your lesson."
Central Park
"What? What? I'm fine."
Central Park
"Anyway, Bitsy is being a total whine-oceros."
Central Park
"So, to fix things, Helen needs to find Bitsy another Rolls-Royce"
Central Park
"exactly like her original one."
Central Park
"That's why Helen is about to reach out to"
Central Park
"a network of the city's maids, butlers and chefs. The grunt grid."
Central Park
"[snoring]"
Central Park
"- Yolanda? - Hello, Helen."
Central Park
"I need to find a vintage Rolls. Activate the phone tree, stat."
Central Park
"I mean, I'm just a maid."
Central Park
"I couldn't possibly help you with something like that."
Central Park
"Oh. You're really gonna make me say that dumb password?"
Central Park
"Password? Gosh, I don't know what you're talking about."
Central Park
"Ugh. Fine. Fine, I'll say it."
Central Park
""Perfect service, don't deserve us. We know too much, it makes them nervous.""
Central Park
"Ugh! Ugh. Uh, activate the grunt grid."
Central Park
"[phones ringing]"
Central Park
"Thanks, Nico."
Central Park
"- "Perfect service, don't deserve us"-- - No, no. We don't need to-- We're good."
Central Park
"[breathes heavily] Helen."
Central Park
"- Great news. - [snores, gasps] Oh, Helen!"
Central Park
"Ennis Witberger died."
Central Park
"His Rolls-Royce is about to hit the floor at a vintage car dealer in Greenwich."
Central Park
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