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Clips from 10-Year-Old-Tom - Art Class/Problem Moms (S01E01)

"- ♪ Now as our poor young lungs deflate ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ I'll admit I've gotten older ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Mellowed out, chatting up those I used to hate ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ The feeling that we're lost will always fade ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ I present no explanations ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Can't expect our tired patience ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ To satiate for long ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Therein lies a truth we can sip when we want ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"♪ Disciples of the flow, we can float anywhere ♪"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[bell rings]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Guys, can we have an honest talk?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I get it, you're little kids,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"and when it comes to art, you're kind of phoning it in."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"But what the eff am I looking at here?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Nelson, is that the Statue of Liberty"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"or Joy Behar holding a flashlight?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You know what? I'll take another pass at it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Dakota, does that look like a banana to you"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"or a yellow Johnson?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- What's a Johnson?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm--that is not my responsibility."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"And, Tom. - Hey there."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, uh, if you draw another sunset,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"I'm gonna blow my brains out. - Okay."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I try to encourage you kids, but, Tom,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"you might be the worst artist who's ever lived."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, no, my mom disagrees."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"She said I'm like her little Picasso."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- This is the problem,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"these overly supportive parents."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- She's just saying I'm great. She's just saying I'm--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm gonna say this to help,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but Picasso had more talent in his rear end"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"than you have in your entire body."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Nah, his rear end couldn't even hold a pencil."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Sure, it could. - How?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- If he clenched at the right angle..."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's a stretch."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- His butt could easily hold a pencil."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I don't think he could even see the canvas from that angle."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Am I really having this conversation? Ugh!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God. - Oh-ho-ho-ho. Oh, my God."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Mrs. Fern? - What?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You seem really stressed out. Are you okay?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, here's the deal, you guys."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Gather round."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"The arts program is at risk of being defunded."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- So I need you kids"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"to start showing results,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"or I could be out of a job."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We love you, Mrs. Fern. We're gonna try harder, okay?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Your assignment is to draw something"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"that shows your school spirit, okay?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Could be a classroom, a soccer field."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Can I just bang out a sunset, or--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No! No sunsets!"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[insects chirping, dog barking]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, Wendy, Tom's gonna have fun with his art stuff."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Got a date with a dentist named Kenny."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"He's pretty boring, but hey, free dinner. [laughs]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I don't need to know all that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's fair, Wendy. Okay, guys, have fun."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- All right, have fun on the weird date."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, hey, Tomas. - I don't go by Tomas."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- How's your art project?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- My art teacher said if Picasso would put a brush"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"into his rear end, he could paint better than I can."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- That's terrible."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Kids should be encouraged with their creativity."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No, I shouldn't be. I'm really bad."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Let me help. I'm an artist. Let me just take a look."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Okay, and-- - What are you doing?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, wow. - Don't touch it."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Don't touch it. - Ah, yes."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Can you stop? No, no, no."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, wow, now it's popping. - Please."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, okay, the muse is here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Wait, is this helping, or are you just doing it?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- The muse is here! - Where's my mom?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Where's the emergency number?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You really have to put the art down. I've gotta--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, artists have assistants help all the time."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm literally doing nothing. I'm eating string cheese."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- It's called a stringed cheese, okay?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"You don't nibble on it like some sort of monster."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Okay, Tom? - Yeah."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Now you are done."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"[choir vocalizing angelically]"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Oh, my God, that's amazing."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You did that, Tom. Wow."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Me? I can't hand that in. I didn't draw anything."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- We were both here, and the art happened."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"So, like, who's to say who even did what?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Oh, Tom, please, don't eat it that way."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Okay, kids, I'm seeing signs of improvement,"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"but this is really not, uh, "moving the needle.""
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, Nelson, what am I looking at here?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You know what? To be honest, I feel like this piece just--"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"it's just really getting away from me."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Dakota, did my whole anti-banana speech"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"not get through to you?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I'm just not a creative person."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"That's the bottom line."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Yeah, no kidding."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Wow! Wait a minute."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Is this--Tom, you did this?"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- You know, I believe I did. - Kind of blown away here."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I think your mean-spirited, harsh criticism"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"really, uh, inspired me."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Class, this is talent."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Compared to Tom, the rest of you look like idiots."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- I wouldn't say that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom's read end is a better artist than some of you."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Enough with the rear end comparisons."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"Not everyone reacts to that."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- Tom, you are what we call a prodigy."
10-Year-Old-Tom
"- No. - And you"
10-Year-Old-Tom
"are gonna save this arts program."
10-Year-Old-Tom
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