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Clips from MacGruber - The Architect (S01E01)

"My grandmother was Sharold, her mother and her aunts,"
MacGruber
"and most of her sisters, and some of her sons."
MacGruber
"Goes for all genders, really, Sharold."
MacGruber
"[tense music]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"Something wrong?"
MacGruber
"- No, it's just weird."
MacGruber
"Both the S and the H are capitalized."
MacGruber
"- Yeah."
MacGruber
"Uh, That's because it's S. Harold Kernst."
MacGruber
"- And the S stands for Sharold?"
MacGruber
"- Stands for Sharold."
MacGruber
"- So your name is Sharold Harold Kernst."
MacGruber
"- Yep."
MacGruber
"- And here you go, Colonel Jebblidoh."
MacGruber
"- Jebblidoo. Matias Jebblidoo."
MacGruber
"- Sure."
MacGruber
"And Private Fukk?"
MacGruber
"- Mm-hmm."
MacGruber
"- Yep, Private David Fukk, Wisconsin's own."
MacGruber
"- Oh, I'm from Madison. - Get out of town."
MacGruber
"That's so fun!"
MacGruber
"Private Fukk, isn't that so fun?"
MacGruber
"From Madison. Tell him all about"
MacGruber
"the different Wisconsin trivia that you know."
MacGruber
"- Well, I guess we should be leaving, so."
MacGruber
"- Well, I don't know. We got a little bit of time."
MacGruber
"- Bye. - Say goodbye, Private Fukk."
MacGruber
"- Bye. - Bye."
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- Hey, Vic. - Yeah?"
MacGruber
"- You sure you don't need me in there?"
MacGruber
"- Thanks, but I think this is something"
MacGruber
"I need to do on my own."
MacGruber
"- I understand."
MacGruber
"Hey. Sharold."
MacGruber
"- Yeah? - Livestrong."
MacGruber
"- Okay. - Come on, give me five."
MacGruber
"Yeah."
MacGruber
"- Open 104!"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- Hello, Barrett."
MacGruber
"- Victoria."
MacGruber
"- Oh, shut up-a you face!"
MacGruber
"[tense music]"
MacGruber
"Put 'em on."
MacGruber
"- Honey-- - Kee-yah!"
MacGruber
"I am not your honey, honey. Not anymore."
MacGruber
"And you are not my king."
MacGruber
"So are we gonna do things the hard way?"
MacGruber
"Or..."
MacGruber
"The harder way?"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"It's your choice."
MacGruber
"General. [coughs]"
MacGruber
"- Just tell me you once loved me."
MacGruber
"I'll tell you whatever you want to know."
MacGruber
"- Sorry."
MacGruber
"I don't negotiate with terrorists."
MacGruber
"- [grunts, coughs]"
MacGruber
"Queeth and his men are dead,"
MacGruber
"but the plan is still proceeding."
MacGruber
"Tell me what you know!"
MacGruber
"Goll dar, Barrett!"
MacGruber
"Who is executing Queeth's goll dar plan?"
MacGruber
"- I don't know! - That's a fib!"
MacGruber
"You're fibbing! - I'm not fibbing."
MacGruber
"I swear to you, I'm not fibbing!"
MacGruber
"- Okay."
MacGruber
"Looks like I'm gonna have to take off the training wheels,"
MacGruber
"and sit down real hard on the seat."
MacGruber
"- [groans]"
MacGruber
"[coughs]"
MacGruber
"- You know what that is? I think you do."
MacGruber
"Yeah, I think you know what that is."
MacGruber
"Yeah. That's your old pal, MacGruber."
MacGruber
"- No!"
MacGruber
"No!"
MacGruber
"- Millions of lives are at stake, Barrett."
MacGruber
"Tell me what you know! - I don't know anything."
MacGruber
"- Tell me what you know!"
MacGruber
"Tell me what you know! What do you know?"
MacGruber
"- Okay! Okay! I'll tell you! I'll tell you everything!"
MacGruber
"- Thank you."
MacGruber
"- Twenty years ago,"
MacGruber
"there was someone working on the inside with Queeth."
MacGruber
"I never knew who it was."
MacGruber
"I only knew them as the Architect."
MacGruber
"But they controlled everything. Everything."
MacGruber
"- Tell me more about this "The Architect.""
MacGruber
"- I don't know much. [sniffles]"
MacGruber
"They covered their tracks very well,"
MacGruber
"so I was never able to piece the whole thing together."
MacGruber
"But what I do know is in my computer,"
MacGruber
"locked away in the NSA."
MacGruber
"Sorry. Wish I could tell you more."
MacGruber
"- Apology not accepted."
MacGruber
"- Vicki, please, don't go."
MacGruber
"Vicki, please."
MacGruber
"- Goodbye, Barrett."
MacGruber
"[knocks on door] - Victoria."
MacGruber
"Victoria!"
MacGruber
"[sobbing] Victoria!"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- Files you requested, sir. - This everything?"
MacGruber
"- Not exactly."
MacGruber
"This is everything."
MacGruber
"- Jesus."
MacGruber
"- If I may, sir, any idea where he is?"
MacGruber
"- That's what I'm hoping to find out."
MacGruber
"Where the hell are you, MacGruber?"
MacGruber
"[suspenseful music]"
MacGruber
"- Oh, hold that, will you?"
MacGruber
"Thank you. Are you going up?"
MacGruber
"- All the way to the top. Isn't that right, Agent Piss?"
MacGruber
"- Mm-hmm."
MacGruber
"[elevator dings]"
MacGruber
"[dramatic music]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- Jesus."
MacGruber
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