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Clips from Weeds - Wonderful Wonderful (S05E05)

"Why do you let her do that to you?"
Weeds
"She's abusive."
Weeds
"-Roberto, you do not have to take this. -Rodolfo."
Weeds
"And how often does she hit you, Rodolfo?"
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"I don't know."
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"She doesn't mean to hurt me."
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"I just-- I make her so mad sometime--"
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"-What the hell is going on in here? -I'm trying to make the phone calls."
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"-And nobody's paying. -Fine."
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"Then fuck it. We'll kill her and sell her organs. Okay?"
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"Let's go have sex."
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"Hello? Can someone please tell me what's going on?"
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"Nancy, you need to sign these forms."
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"What am I signing?"
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"It's a consent for a CVS procedure."
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"I don't even know what that is."
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"I can't understand what the doctor is saying. This is--"
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"Forget it, I'm going home."
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"I'm not comfortable. I don't know where I am."
Weeds
"It's like I've been sucked up into the alien craft and I'm being probed."
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"Where are my clothes? Can someone please bring me--"
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"You have no idea, do you?"
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"This is your baby."
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"I totally understand if you need proof."
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"Why don't we make an appointment with a doctor in Ren Mar..."
Weeds
"...someone who speaks English, actually addresses me..."
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"...like I'm a human being. We'll go together."
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"-We'll get lunch after. How about that? -How about that?"
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"How about you're Lazarus risen from the dead..."
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"...and you will lie back, open your legs, and show Dr. Brisa..."
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"...the doctor I've chosen, that in your flat stomach..."
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"...there is a baby that is both male and mine."
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"-I wanna go. -If you want to go home..."
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"...Cesar will take you."
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"You wanna go?"
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"Go."
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"Doctor?"
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"That was humiliating."
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"I know. I'm sorry. I could not untie you."
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"You are supposed to wipe from front to back."
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"-If I get some infection-- -It wasn't exactly a thrill for me."
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"Tie her back into the chair and wash your hands, Rodolfo."
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"Is this really necessary?"
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"Come on, Quinn. Enough is enough."
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"You've proven your point."
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"You're angry and I have to make amends..."
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"...for my many mistakes, so here is my proposal."
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"As we all know now, I am broke..."
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"...but that doesn't mean I can't charge on my credit card and worry about it later..."
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"...a week at a spa."
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"Let's just forget all this silliness and go have rehydrating facials."
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"You look a little dry there, honey."
Weeds
"They're gonna saw you open, Mom."
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"They're gonna slice out your corneas, your kidneys, your lungs."
Weeds
"They probably won't be too interested in your liver..."
Weeds
"...considering your past, but by the time they're through..."
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"...putting you into a dozen igloo coolers..."
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"...and shipping you off to the black market..."
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"...you should net me about a hundred K."
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"And then I'll toast your memory from the deck of my beach house."
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"Oh, honey."
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"You can't buy a beach house for a hundred K."
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"And when they cut out your heart, Mom, I think I wanna be there..."
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"...just to confirm that you had one."
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"Jesus. I survived cancer and rehab for this?"
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"-Fuck it. Can I have a drink? -You had cancer?"
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"Don't you dare start feeling sorry for her."
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"-Did you have chemo? -Sure. Chemo, radiation."
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"Do you have any more of that stuff you gave me that made me sleep?"
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"Quinn, they will not take her organs."
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"-What? -She had radiation, chemo--"
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"And a double mastectomy."
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"They're going to know this the moment they open her shirt."
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"Quinn, it's no good."
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"You fucking bitch!"
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"Quinn, enough!"
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"Enough!"
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"Get out! Out!"
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"Out of my life, out of my tent!"
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"You are a mean person."
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"Have fun together."
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"Oh, good Christ."
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"Watch out, incoming. Take cover."
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"My eyes, my eyes, I can't see."
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"Doug, if you don't help, you can't come."
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"Why can't we just buy new stuff?"
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"There was a dead mouse in that backpack."
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"-Hey. -Hey, kid."
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"What's wrong with Uncle Andy? He's baking banana bread. Like 13 of them."
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"Oh, he's freaking out because your mom's pregnant."
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"-Excuse me? -Knocked up, private."
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"Baby on board. Muffin in the muff."
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"-You're just an idiot. You know that? -What?"
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"What--? I didn't knock her up."
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"Something smells amazing."
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"They say that pregnant women have a heightened sense of smell."
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"Oh, you're talking to me."
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"Well, I've been thinking, just because you've been a slutty..."
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"...irresponsible, slutty slut..."
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"...who had unprotected sex with a Mexican gangster..."
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"...doesn't mean that we can't be friends, right?"
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"Did you wanna lick the spatula?"
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"-I need to ask you a favor. -Of course you do."
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"I need you to take Shane to my sister's in Oakland Hills."
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"Jill Price-Gray with a hyphen? Bitchface?"
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"It's the lesser of two evils."
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"I'll have to check my schedule."
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"-I love you too, you know. -Not in the good way."
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"-You're full of shit. -Ask her yourself."
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"You're pregnant?"
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"-Yes. -See?"
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"-You've got a big mouth. -You've got a big baby."
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"And you're how old?"
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"-Women my age have babies, Shane. -So when's the abortion?"
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"I'm having the baby, Silas."
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"Come on, it's a new life."
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"It's a new sibling for you guys..."
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"...it's the key to keeping her Mexican boyfriend from murdering us all."
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"At least until she pops and then we flee to Denmark."
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"Dad would be so proud."
Weeds
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