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Clips from Arrested Development - Shock and Aww (S01E01)

"- He knows we're going out. He saw me this morning. - No, I covered that."
Arrested Development
"What is wrong with you? I thought you were good people. I thought you were noble."
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"I told him that you slept with my brother."
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"I thought you cared about family, but you clearly don't."
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"That may be the most unethical thing I've ever heard."
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"l-It's over. Both of you. It's over."
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"Well, you've only been doing this half a semester."
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"Wait, wait. What about, what about me?"
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"Look, it was a preemptive strike. My brother would've tried to sleep with you."
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"I'm sorry. I'm not totally sure who you are."
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"- Well, I want you to leave right now and not come back. - Right. I know."
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"Wow! Wow."
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"I understand. I'm sorry. And you will not see me again."
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"That's what it feels like to get punched in the face."
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"- Can you believe that? - Yeah, lecturing us about family."
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"Starting right now."
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"George Sr. went on a walk with Cindi. - George."
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"I mean, who needs that?"
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"- And she was getting to him. - You can feel safe to fully reveal yourself to me."
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"And what are we doing? Hey, we're brothers."
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"Hmm, all right. There is..."
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"- That's gotta count for something. - That counts for everything."
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"- There is something. - Come closer."
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"- I'm not gonna throw it away over some woman. - Heh! Especially not my woman."
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"It's weighing heavy on my soul."
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"- Hmm? - But you're right, you're right. I mean, this is what's real."
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"You, uh... You know, the Talmud teaches us to... There you go."
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"- This is what lasts. Everything else is just petty. - Yeah, totally beneath us."
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"- What's he doing? - He's pinching the camera."
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"He's on to us. He's found the camera."
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"- Yeah. - And by the way, I don't know how you call her your woman..."
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"- Get out of there. He's got the camera. Abort! Abort! - Get the dog."
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"when she clearly prefers me, and she was all prepared to be my girlfriend..."
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"Clean the dog. We are cleaning the dog!"
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"- calling me her boyfriend... - Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hey!"
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"That night, Buster came home to an empty apartment."
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"- Hang on one second. - This is all moot, because she never got a chance to know me."
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"So, it's off with Mother now."
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"Now, will someone please have the decency to punch me in the face?"
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"In fact, Lucille was just giving Annyong and Maeby a ride."
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"Aah!"
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"You're trying to steal from the wrong man."
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"- Well, it's effective. - Yeah, it really is."
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"Watch your back, my little immigrant friend!"
Arrested Development
"On the next Arrested Development."
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"And the spring diversity dance was in full swing."
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"Tobias quietly overcompensates."
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"- Whoa, sorry. Students only. - Oh."
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"Please tell me there's some coffee left."
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"So you're not letting him in because he doesn't share your perfectly shaped nose..."
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"Give me some."
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"your round eye-shaped eyes, your strong square jaw."
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"Thanks. You wanna dance?"
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"- Yeah! - All right!"
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"Steve Holt!"
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"And Gob sought out Shannon... - Shannon!"
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"who had found out he had cheated on her with Nazhgalia."
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"Shannon, where are you? Shannon!"
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"Oh, hey, Lisa. Shannon!"
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"Excuse me. Look, I blew it, okay?"
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"But I bought a yearbook ad from you. Doesn't that mean anything anymore?"
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"Beth! Hey, hi. Listen..."
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"Um, I blew it okay? I had to see you."
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"l-I've been giving this a lot of thought, and-and..."
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"- I have to do the right thing. - You're gonna tell George Michael the truth?"
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"Oh, that's... that's your definition of the right thing."
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"I thought I was gonna make a dramatic entrance and tell you that I wanted to see you. Okay."
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"Uh, I'll get right on that."
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"George Michael! Where are you? George Michael!"
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"- Uncle Gob? - George Michael."
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"- What are you doing at a high school dance? - I'm looking for you."
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"- How could you do this to me? - Do what?"
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"- I'm just here with my girl. - Yeah, my ethics teacher."
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"- Hey, George Michael. - No, Dad. I'm taking care of something, okay?"
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"- All right. - You slept with my ethics teacher."
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"Just hang on a second."
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"- It wasn't him. It's me, okay? - Wha..."
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"- It wasn't him. It's me, okay? - Wha..."
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"- I've been dating your ethics teacher. - Wow, Michael."
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"I'm really touched that you'd stick up for me after I've been so horrible to you."
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"- Huh? - You know what? Now it's time for me to do the right thing."
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"I slept with the ethics teacher. I'm sorry."
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"- What are you talking about? - Lindsay told me that you liked her and I'm not proud of this..."
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"but... l... Mrs. Whitehead."
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"In fact, Gob mistook the civics teacher..."
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"for the ethics teacher Michael was dating."
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"Man, he... has a type."
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"Gob, Mrs. Whitehead was the civics teacher."
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"- We both had her. - Yes, we have. And now we're even."
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"- What a pig. - Tell me about it."
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"No, you! You're the pig!"
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"- Two strikes. You are out. - Listen. Shannon, please."
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"It was a onetime thing. I'm not gonna hear from her again!"
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"Ach!"
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"Who is Edna W? Hello?"
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"- What's going on here, Dad? - Well, it-it-it was me, okay?"
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"l-I've been seeing Ms. Baerly, and I should never have brought Gob into it."
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"But that day you told me you liked her, I didn't know what else to do."
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"- I never wanted to hurt you. - Didn't Aunt Lindsay tell you I liked her?"
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"Yeah. But she said that you wanted her as a mother, and I said that was ridiculous..."
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"but then I met her and kind of fell for her..."
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"and thought that she would kind of make a great mother."
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"Is that true? I didn't know you were that serious."
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"Well, you know, I'm open to it. We're open to it."
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"Wow!"
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"- No, no, no, no. - I'm just saying someday, you know."
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"- I'm not really into kids. - I'm just... I'm not trying to rush anything."
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"Hey! The lady said no, man."
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"Look, Michael, I hope you find what you're looking for."
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"I mean we had some laughs about some very sad things, but..."
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"I don't think we have a future."
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"- And, Jeremy, I will take that cupcake. - Ohh. Okay, um..."
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"- Hey, uh, you wanna dance? - Sure, why not?"
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"I can't believe that would have worked."
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"On the next Arrested Development."
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"Buster's competition heats up."
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"Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! We are not allowed to have candles in here."
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"- Mom would freak. - Oh, no, it's fine."
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"This is America, baby. You pray how you want."
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"I'll light a candle of my own."
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