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Clips from Private Parts

"This I know."
Private Parts
"And at this point, I knew I was gonna score."
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"I mean, it was fait accompli."
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"I was in. This was it."
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"I'm a stud. She was liquefied."
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"We did not have sex on our first date,"
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"although he was very sexual."
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"Our sex life has always been good."
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"I mean, Howard complains that his penis is too small,"
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"but his penis size is fine."
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"Howard exaggerates."
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"[Shivering]"
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"- OK. - Now hold this and say..."
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"Hi. Hi, I'm Camille,"
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"and, uh, I'm in Westchester, New York, and..."
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"This is Howard's first job interview."
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"And this is Howard's first job interview."
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"Well, he's going to his first job interview in New York."
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"- All right... - [Shivering]"
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"- One more thing. - Yes?"
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"Can you take your top off?"
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"- No. - No, I'm serious."
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"I'm serious. That's what they want you to do."
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"- No, they do not. - Yeah, they do."
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"- No way. - No, they do."
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"Howard did not tell me..."
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"[Aerosmith's Sweet Emotion Plays]"
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"I'm Moti, station manager."
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"- Howard Stern. - You want to be a disc jockey?"
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"Very much so. I've wanted to be a disc jockey"
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"since I was 7 years old."
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"What are you, an idiot?"
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"No, sir, I'm not an idiot."
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"L... In fact, I have a communications degree from Boston University,"
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"and I would work very hard for this company"
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"if given the opportunity to..."
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"You wanted to see me?"
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"You came late yesterday."
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"You came late today. I don't need you. You're fired."
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"Fuck you."
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"Good. Fuck you."
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"You punk! Fuck you 1,000%% %!"
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"Fuck you till your asshole"
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"is perfect donkey asshole!"
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"[Muttering In Foreign Language]"
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"OK, you start tomorrow."
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"10 a.m. To 2 p. M, eh?"
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"Yes."
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"Pay $96 a week and don't bring me your problems."
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"OK."
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"I'm not psychiatrist."
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"Thank you very much."
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"I promise you I will not disappoint you."
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"Thank you."
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"And I start tomorrow?"
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"Wimpy Voice: Westchester 107, WRNW 107."
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"Hi, this is Howard Stern, and it's 75 degrees presently,"
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"winds out of the northwest."
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"Chance of precipitation, 85%% % for tonight."
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"Looks like rain."
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"Tomorrow, partly sunny at WRNW, Westchester 107."
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"[Black Sabbath's Paranoid Plays]"
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"I was sort of living with Alison"
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"while she worked on her Master's of social work, which was really great."
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"I was also still living with my parents..."
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"Howard's Mother: Howard?"
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"Which wasn't so great."
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"Yeah. Yeah, ma?"
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"I smell smoke. Are you smoking in there?"
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"No, Ma. There's no smoke in here."
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"Wimpy Voice: 107 FM, WRNW."
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"I'm Howard Stern with you each and every day,"
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"and I've got a great two for Tuesday."
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"107 FM... The Ramones... Gabba gabba wee,"
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"Gabba gabba hey,"
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"Gabba gabba gabba gabba..."
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"[Increases Volume]"
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"Howard, you stink."
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"I don't mince words. You will never be a great disc jockey."
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"You have lousy voice, lousy personality, and this will not change."
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"OK? So on the air is not for you."
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"But you come on time, and you are good worker, huh?"
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"So..."
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"how about I make you..."
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"program director?"
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"Program director?"
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"Program... director."
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"You. You."
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"You run station."
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"You... sit."
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"You pick music."
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"No more $96 a week."
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"Eh. I pay you..."
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"you, eh?"
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"$250 a week."
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"[Chuckles]"
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"You be management... like me."
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"To be quite honest, I didn't really want to be a programmer."
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"But at $250 a week, I could marry Alison,"
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"and we'd get a real place together."
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"Oh, look at her. I mean, this was a miracle."
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"Here's this beautiful girl,"
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"I mean, a gorgeous woman,"
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"willing to spend the rest of her life with me."
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"I just couldn't have been happier."
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"I was the happiest program director in the world."
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"Yeah, me. Program director."
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"Overnight, I become the big boss."
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"Howard Stern, executive manager."
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"I had no idea what I was doing,"
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"no clue what to do with this job whatsoever,"
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"but I did it, and everyone bought into it."
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"They thought I knew what I was doing. This was great."
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"Howard."
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"Oh, hey, Moti."
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"Advertising is up. Profit is up."
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"Oh, great."
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"As a disc jockey, you're... you're shit... ha ha ha ha..."
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"But you are a great programmer. Here, payday."
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"Thanks, Moti."
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