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Clips from Private Parts

"# Shut up your mouth, That is your daddy #"
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"# Oh, no #"
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"# My daddy can't be ugly so #"
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"# Shut your mouth, go away #"
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"# Ooh, Mama look-a boo boo day #"
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"Huh!"
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"# Shut your mouth... #"
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"My father commuted every day,"
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"I guess it was, about 40 miles into Manhattan."
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"He'd leave at 7:00 in the morning, get home around midnight or something."
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"I mean, I never saw the guy."
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"Come on. Come on."
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"Once a year, my old man would break down"
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"and take me to work with him."
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"A little quality time."
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"I liked that. A little bonding."
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"Dad and son together."
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"I looked forward to that."
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"[Elevator Dings]"
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"Take my hand, Howard."
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"And remember, Howard,"
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"I work here, so keep your mouth shut."
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"# Never know how much I love you... #"
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"You spin and you spin and you spin."
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"Records... Who gives a damn?"
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"Daddy."
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"I told you, shut up."
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"That man's throwing records."
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"No, nobody gives a goddamn about it."
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"None of it. What the fuck is it?"
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"Just fucking records! It's just this fucking place."
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"None of it means anything. It's empty..."
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"Sid, you're on in 15 seconds."
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"Get a grip on yourself!"
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"Ah, what the hell do you know, you bastard?"
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"You mieskait!"
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"You're gonna play the music for the people? It doesn't..."
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"Symphony Sid!"
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"By the powers vested in me"
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"by the Federal Communications Commission,"
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"I command you"
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"to get on the microphone in a serious manner"
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"and continue this broadcast."
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"Deep, Calm Voice: This is Sunday Blues And Jazz,"
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"and I'm your host Symphony Sid."
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"And now... something for a blue Sunday."
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"Howard: From that moment on, I wanted to be on the radio."
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"Show business was definitely for me."
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"[Bouncy Puppet Music]"
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"And for my 12th birthday, my mother bought me some puppets,"
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"and pretty soon, I was spreading joy throughout the community."
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"# Biddi-bim-bom, ay- yi-yi #"
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"# Biddi-biddi-biddi #"
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"# Biddi-biddi-biddi-biddi #"
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"# Biddi-biddi-biddi... #"
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"Howard, As The Woman: Oh, baby, I want it. Give it to me."
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"More. More. Ohh!"
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"Howard, As The Man: You like that, huh?"
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"Oh, yes, I love it, baby. Give it to me."
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"Oh, baby, yes! Right there. Ohh!"
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"Oh, more! Harder!"
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"You want it harder?"
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"Oh, yes, harder. Please give it to me, please."
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"Ohh! Aah! Aah!"
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"But why can't I play with my puppets?"
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"Shut up! You know why."
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"Ah..."
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"You know, life is very strange."
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"Nat King Cole: # Pretend you're happy... #"
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"Just about the time my puppet career ended,"
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"my whole neighborhood underwent a demographic shift."
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"My parents said we're moving because of those niggers."
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"They said pretty soon, Roosevelt's going to be nothing but niggers."
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"Really? My parents said we're moving"
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"because of all the Shvartzes."
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"Shvartzes are niggers, idiot."
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"They're the same thing."
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"[Tires Screech]"
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"I don't want to hear any more of this, you hear me?"
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"I'm half negro, and Howard's half negro."
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"And anything bad you say about negroes,"
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"you're saying about us, you understand?"
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"# And nothing's bad as it may seem... #"
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"Mom, we're half negro?"
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"I can't believe the stories he makes up."
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"I mean, I never made him wear my underwear to school."
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"And... And as far as my taking his rectal temperature"
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"every day till he was 14..."
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"He shouldn't make such a big deal."
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"He still grew up to be a very well-adjusted individual."
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"Absolutely."
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"# Papa was a rolling stone... #"
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"Roosevelt High School... beautiful."
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"A fully integrated educational institution,"
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"which of course meant 6,000 black guys and me."
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"And then I hit puberty."
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"That made things worse"
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"because my penis never got any bigger."
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"I mean, I was hung like a 3- year-old."
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"Hey, seriously, these guys had rhinoceros penises... huge."
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"You know, I've heard black men complain"
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"that they're unfairly stereotyped."
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"Man, I'd love to have a stereotype like that."
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"Now, because I had such a minuscule schlonger,"
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"I turned to drugs."
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"Unfortunately, the drugs really made me paranoid."
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"Howard's Mother: Howard, I smell smoke. Are you smoking in there?"
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"There's no smoke in here."
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"Howard, your father wants to see you downstairs."
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"[Gargles]"
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"Howard."
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"[Swallows]"
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"Howard, you're graduating from high school this year."
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"You should be making some kind of plan for your future."
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"You need a plan."
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"I want to be on the radio."
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"He wants to be on radio."
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"But to be on the radio, you have to have a voice."
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"You have to have some verbal ability."
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"You hardly ever say a word."
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