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Clips from Master of None - The Other Man (S01E01)

"Wouldn't you be upset if your wife"
Master of None
"cheated on you with some dude?"
Master of None
"I guess I'd be depressed a little bit, yeah, you know."
Master of None
"But what if you didn't know about it"
Master of None
"and she didn't have any emotional attachment to the guy?"
Master of None
"Or girl, I mean, if this was a Denise experience situation."
Master of None
"So you're basically like a human dildo."
Master of None
"It's not ideal, but if I didn't know about it,"
Master of None
"it wouldn't kill me."
Master of None
"Exactly."
Master of None
"So it's like she went to the store to buy a dildo,"
Master of None
"but in the package, it was my penis,"
Master of None
"and it was attached to my body."
Master of None
"I'm just a human dildo."
Master of None
"[Colin] Come."
Master of None
"[classical music]"
Master of None
"Ah, Dev!"
Master of None
"Good to see you."
Master of None
"Welcome to Shakespeare's trailer."
Master of None
"Man, that must have been some cat."
Master of None
"I'll run you through the elevator pitch for the movie."
Master of None
"Okay."
Master of None
"So what is the one thing everyone has?"
Master of None
"I don't know."
Master of None
"A car."
Master of None
"So I do a movie where I am a car."
Master of None
"So it's like Knight Rider and you're doing the voice?"
Master of None
"Nope! I am the car."
Master of None
"Batman has a Batmobile. Thor has a Thor-mobile."
Master of None
"I don't think he does."
Master of None
"But in this movie, I don't have a car."
Master of None
"I am the car."
Master of None
"How do you get the power to turn into a car?"
Master of None
"That's where you come in, writer."
Master of None
"What do you think?"
Master of None
"Maybe you're sitting in your car"
Master of None
"and you get struck by lightning?"
Master of None
"That's good."
Master of None
"That's very good."
Master of None
"Just a thought."
Master of None
"That might be the single greatest idea I've ever heard."
Master of None
"It is?"
Master of None
"Until now."
Master of None
"Because, Dev, I'm inspired by you,"
Master of None
"and I am feeding off your energy."
Master of None
"And I think I've come up with a title for the film:"
Master of None
"CarPerson."
Master of None
"No, wait. Wait."
Master of None
"CarHuman."
Master of None
"Why not just CarMan?"
Master of None
""Colin Salmon is CarMan.""
Master of None
"Dev, you've done it again! It's brilliant."
Master of None
"And we should celebrate with a Cinnabon,"
Master of None
"and I won't take no for an answer."
Master of None
"Okay, I'll have one."
Master of None
"Great!"
Master of None
"We just have to wait for the glaze to thaw."
Master of None
"Takes a few hours."
Master of None
"Should be ready by nightfall."
Master of None
"Do you have any specials?"
Master of None
"Yeah, the King Kong Banana Split."
Master of None
"We take ice cream, bananas, and pineapple,"
Master of None
"and we add sesame caramel and Luxardo."
Master of None
"It's amazing."
Master of None
"Whoa, I'll take it."
Master of None
"Okay."
Master of None
"Clark, right."
Master of None
"Hey, hold on one second, Greg."
Master of None
"Uh, give me whatever this pudge-ball's having. That looks good."
Master of None
"Yeah, I'll have one of those too."
Master of None
"I'm sorry, that was the last one."
Master of None
"What? But I was next in line."
Master of None
"Hey, excuse me."
Master of None
"I was actually next in line. You cut in front of me."
Master of None
"That's the last King Kong Banana Split."
Master of None
"I kind of feel like you got to give that to me."
Master of None
"I don't know."
Master of None
"This guy's fucking talking to me."
Master of None
"[whispering] It's him."
Master of None
"[dramatic tones]"
Master of None
"Hold on a second."
Master of None
"What the hell are you talking about?"
Master of None
"I was next in line. You cut in front."
Master of None
"Look, kid, there's plenty of ice cream here."
Master of None
"I don't have time for this shit."
Master of None
"Oh, that is disgusting."
Master of None
"Just get him to sign the fucking thing, Greg!"
Master of None
"[both moaning]"
Master of None
"[dramatic tones]"
Master of None
"So, uh, I hooked up with Nina."
Master of None
"Oh, nah, you should not have done that."
Master of None
"What? You were the one that told me to do it."
Master of None
"You said it wasn't a big deal."
Master of None
"Yeah, but that was more of an abstract discussion."
Master of None
"How was it abstract?"
Master of None
"It's a real person in my real life."
Master of None
"If you get caught, you could ruin these people's lives."
Master of None
"I'm just saying, be careful, man."
Master of None
"Be careful?"
Master of None
"Aren't you the one making your boss come"
Master of None
"a thousand times every 15 minutes?"
Master of None
"Yeah, but what we have is real, okay?"
Master of None
"Do not be fucking with our dynamics, all right?"
Master of None
"The point is, you are messing with a serious bond"
Master of None
"in this woman's life."
Master of None
"It's like, it's not to be taken lightly."
Master of None
"Why didn't you say this shit last time?"
Master of None
"I didn't think you'd actually go through with it."
Master of None
"Why not?"
Master of None
"Because you're a man of principles."
Master of None
"That's something I've always respected about you, Dev."
Master of None
"Well, that's nice."
Master of None
"Yeah, but I don't think that shit anymore,"
Master of None
"not after this."
Master of None
"Well, whatever, all right? It was a one-time thing."
Master of None
"It's not a big deal."
Master of None
"Her husband's not gonna murder me."
Master of None
"[cell phone rings]"
Master of None
"It's Colin Salmon. He's FaceTiming me."
Master of None
"I guess I got to take it. It might be about CarMan."
Master of None
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