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Clips from The Monkees - Don't Look a Gift Horse in the Mouth (S01E01)

"At least somebody appreciates a good soup."
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"Hey, wait'll you see a horse change into a werewolf."
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"Come on."
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"Hey, fellas, that's not funny!"
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"I don't think he's dead; I just think he overate."
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"If you ask me, he's just plain tired. You calling the vet?"
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"Hello, Doctor Mann?"
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"Uh, hi, I'm one of The Monkees, and I have a sick horse."
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"A monkey? Bothered by hoarseness?"
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"I didn't even know monkeys could talk. Better come right over."
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"Doctor Mann? Doctor Mann?"
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"- Doctor Mann? - Yes."
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"Hi, I'm the fella that called before."
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"- Where's the monkey? - Oh, I'm the Monkee."
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"You're the monkey? Ha ha ha ha."
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"You don't need a vet, young man; you need a psychiatrist."
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"No, wait a minute. You don't under, you don't understand."
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"I'm not a real monkey; I'm the kind of Monkee that sings."
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"Oh, no wonder you're hoarse; probably your throat muscles are tired."
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"No, I'm not, I'm not hoarse at all. I have a horse."
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"Oh, does he sing too?"
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"Um, uh, no, sir. He's just, you know,"
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"he's a regular animal, except that he's very sick."
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"Sick? I could probably help him; I'm a veterinarian. Excuse me."
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"You have a very sick horse here."
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"Oh, uh, Doctor Mann, you don't understand. You see-"
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"Oh, please, don't explain."
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"There's no time to waste; I may have to operate."
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"You can't operate. I'm not a horse; I'm a Monkee!"
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"Ha ha ha. Likely story. I suppose you sing too."
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"Yeah! Both of us in here do."
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"Egad, this is even worse than I thought!"
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"This horse not only has delusions of singing; it has a split personality!"
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"Um, Doctor Mann, look, we really do have a horse,"
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"and he's in the bedroom, and if you could just follow me."
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"I'll bet that's the landlord."
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"It's okay, we've got the horse hidden."
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"Mike, what about the vet?"
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"What if Babbit starts asking him a lot of questions?"
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"Yeah, we better hide him too."
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"Wait a minute. Wait, I got it, I got it. The closet. Peter, you and Davy,"
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"um, get Doctor Mann in the closet, and put the horse costume back on."
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"Yeah."
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"Wait a minute. What is all this?"
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"Well, Doctor Mann, there's an owl in the closet. A sick owl!"
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"A sick owl?"
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"Right. In the closet."
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"I can help him; I'm a veterinarian, you know."
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"What about this one?"
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"No, no, no, no, it's in the closet."
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"Hey, Mike, wait. I got a smoke bomb up on the balcony;"
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"if things get too hot with Babbit, yell, and I'll throw it down."
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"Oh, okay, that's cool."
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"Oh, Miss Purdy. Hi, come in."
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"Hello, Mike. I baked a cake today and-"
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"you know me, your good neighbor."
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"I thought you boys might like some."
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"Well, thank you very much. That's awful nice."
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"You're welcome. Yeah, it's nothing special,"
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"but I just thought you boys needed some good home cooking."
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"Well, that's very groovy."
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"Where are the rest of the boys? Where's Micky and Peter and Davy?"
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"- We, uh. - Oh! Oh! Oh!"
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"Miss Purdy! Miss Purdy. Oh no."
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"Micky, help!"
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"Micky, no! Down here!"
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"Mike, where are you? Mike. Mike. Mike. Mike."
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"Where are you? Oh, oh. Mike. Man, what happened?"
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"Ah, she saw the horse and fainted. We gotta do something, Micky."
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"Mike, uh, water, water."
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"Yeah, water, water. Go get some water."
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"Somebody fainted? Make way for a medical man!"
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"Oh!"
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"What's Doctor Mann doing in the horse head?"
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"I'd better take this off."
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"Ah, I see you're coming around, Mrs. Purdy."
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"Who are you?"
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"I'm Doctor Mann. Lucky I was here when you fainted."
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"I usually don't take cases like yours; I'm a veterinarian."
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"A veteri-oh!"
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"No offense, madam!"
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"I'm gonna go and get some fresh air in here."
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"Ha ha! Just as I thought. There is a horse in here."
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"Don't be ridiculous. Are you ready?"
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"Ready. Hi, Mr.Babbit."
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"It... talks?"
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"Hey, kid! Hey, come here!"
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"Hey! Hey, come here. Come over here."
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"Am I glad to see you; now you can take your horse back."
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"But I can't take him back; Jeremy's your horse now."
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"My horse? I don't know what to do with him!"
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"Just ride him, like you've been doing."
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"Why can't you keep him?"
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"Pa won't let me. Says Jeremy costs too much."
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"Says he's gonna sell him. I bet if you talked to my pa, he'd listen."
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"Why should he listen to a stranger?"
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"I don't know. You talk good."
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"Heh heh."
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"Absolutely not. No use to me as a work horse."
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"Besides, too expensive to keep."
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"How about if we paid the original investment."
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"Would you let him keep it then?"
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"Hey, that's a great idea."
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"Fair enough. Animal cost me a hundred dollars."
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"Uh, that's a terrible idea."
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"Look, what if, what if we worked on the farm for a week?"
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"That ought to be worth about a hundred dollars,"
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"and then we could pay you off. What do you say?"
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"Well, before making promises, I'll try you out for one day."
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"Alright, that's fair enough. When do we go to work?"
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"First thing tomorrow morning."
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"It's Tuesday morning! Come on, I said it's Tuesday morning, boys!"
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"Huh? It feels like Monday night."
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"Alright. Come on, boys. Come on. Come on."
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"Come on. Come on. Lot of work to be done!"
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"You got to feed the hogs, got to plow the south forty,"
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"you got to milk the cows, you got to feed the chickens."
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"Come on, boys. Come on. Come on. Come on, boys. Let's go, boys."
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"Come on, we gotta go plow the cow."
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"Something about... I don't... I'm supposed to milk the chicken."
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