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Clips from MacGruber - The Scientist (S01E01)

"[dramatic music]"
MacGruber
"[Boz Scaggs' "Lido Shuffle"]"
MacGruber
"- * Whoa *"
MacGruber
"- All right. Looks like we win this round."
MacGruber
"- We win this round? They got the weapon!"
MacGruber
"- Oh, fine. Call it a tie."
MacGruber
"So, uh, Vick, why did you sell us out?"
MacGruber
"- What are you talking about? - Oh, yeah."
MacGruber
"I guess the U.S. military just kind of happened to show up"
MacGruber
"at our exact location on a dog-dang hunch?"
MacGruber
"Yeah, that makes sense."
MacGruber
"- What exactly are you accusing me of?"
MacGruber
"- Oh, come on!"
MacGruber
"You called your little boy toy after I specifically made"
MacGruber
"a no-calling-husbands rule, and now looked what happened!"
MacGruber
"- Yeah, we were saved from death!"
MacGruber
"- Because of you!"
MacGruber
"- He probably just tracked her phone."
MacGruber
"- No, that's impossible, Piper. It's a wireless phone."
MacGruber
"- Very funny."
MacGruber
"- No, they can track those too."
MacGruber
"- Really?"
MacGruber
"- Fucking get out of here. That's very cool."
MacGruber
"Well, Vicki, based on that,"
MacGruber
"I owe you a huge apology."
MacGruber
"And I'd like to personally apologize"
MacGruber
"to your phone as well. May I?"
MacGruber
"- Oh, thank you. That's sweet."
MacGruber
"[giggles]"
MacGruber
"- Yeah. All right."
MacGruber
"- [gasps] MacGruber!"
MacGruber
"- That ought to slow down those fucking gomers."
MacGruber
"[sirens wailing] Oh, shit, shit, shit!"
MacGruber
"Piper, down! - But those are our guys!"
MacGruber
"- Down, now! Vicki, quick!"
MacGruber
"Get your mouth over here! - What?"
MacGruber
"- Get your mouth over here! - Oh."
MacGruber
"[sirens wailing]"
MacGruber
"[sirens fade]"
MacGruber
"- [sighs] That was a close one."
MacGruber
"Nice undercover work, Vick."
MacGruber
"I think they bought it. - Thank you."
MacGruber
"[helicopter whirring] - Shit, more pigs!"
MacGruber
"All right, we better get this bad boy"
MacGruber
"off the road and plan our next move."
MacGruber
"- You've reached singer-songwriter"
MacGruber
"Vicki St. Elmo-Fasoose."
MacGruber
"* Leave your name and your number *"
MacGruber
"* And a message after the to-wo-wo-wo-wo... *"
MacGruber
"- Sir, we have surveillance photos of the drone strike."
MacGruber
"[tense music]"
MacGruber
"- Jesus, Vicki."
MacGruber
"- We also found this."
MacGruber
"Ran it through our database. Says it's Brigadier Commander--"
MacGruber
"- Enos Queeth."
MacGruber
"- You know him, sir? - Used to."
MacGruber
"Till he was killed in action 20 years ago."
MacGruber
"Looks pretty good for a dead guy."
MacGruber
"- You think he's behind MacGruber's kidnapping?"
MacGruber
"- Makes sense. The two of them had a history."
MacGruber
"I guess Queeth finally settled the score."
MacGruber
"- There's something else you should see."
MacGruber
"- Lieutenant Colonel Dixon Piper."
MacGruber
"- And if you look closely behind him..."
MacGruber
"- MacGruber."
MacGruber
"[inhales deeply] I'll be damned."
MacGruber
"That son of a bitch is still alive."
MacGruber
"[exhales sharply] Thank you, Major."
MacGruber
"- Jesus, Vicki."
MacGruber
"- What have you gotten yourself into?"
MacGruber
"- * Wo-one *"
MacGruber
"* Leave a message at the tone *"
MacGruber
"[dial tone beeps]"
MacGruber
"[dramatic music]"
MacGruber
"* *"
MacGruber
"- * MacGruber *"
MacGruber
"[fire crackles]"
MacGruber
"[garage door clanging]"
MacGruber
"[alarm beeping]"
MacGruber
"- And just like that,"
MacGruber
"we're ghosts."
MacGruber
"- All right. You want to maybe go take care of that alarm?"
MacGruber
"- Oh, shit! Yeah, come on."
MacGruber
"Vick, come on!"
MacGruber
"Okay."
MacGruber
"Okay, here we go."
MacGruber
"6-9-6-9-6-9."
MacGruber
"[alarm chirps] Shit! Worth a shot."
MacGruber
"- 60 seconds, MacGruber."
MacGruber
"- All right. We got this, Vick."
MacGruber
"All right, follow this band to the source."
MacGruber
"So, uh, you, uh, digging the jazz?"
MacGruber
"- What do you mean? I don't hear any music."
MacGruber
"- [chuckles] No, this. The jazz."
MacGruber
"Fighting the good fight,"
MacGruber
"getting back in the game for one last dance."
MacGruber
"- I do enjoy watching you play."
MacGruber
"The game. The jazz. - Yeah."
MacGruber
"Got to be honest with you:"
MacGruber
"been in prison so long, I'm a little out of practice."
MacGruber
"- Excuse me?"
MacGruber
"- Vicki, do I have to spell it out for you?"
MacGruber
"I need to do it with you."
MacGruber
"- MacGruber, I'm married."
MacGruber
"- [scoffs] The alarm, Vicki."
MacGruber
"[laughs] The alarm."
MacGruber
"All right. Here. Hand me those wire cutters."
MacGruber
"- You got it, MacGruber."
MacGruber
"- Now get in there. - Oh."
MacGruber
"- Now let's take those fingers of yours"
MacGruber
"and spread those wires apart very slowly."
MacGruber
"- These wires? - There we go."
MacGruber
"Those ones right there. Great job."
MacGruber
"Gently."
MacGruber
"There we go. Attagirl."
MacGruber
"Okay, now I'm just gonna take my tool."
MacGruber
"- Yeah?"
MacGruber
"- I'm just gonna jam it in there."
MacGruber
"I'm just gonna come inside you there."
MacGruber
"Don't worry. This is gonna be very quick."
MacGruber
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