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Clips from Bust Down - Won't He Do It (S01E01)

"- Dear Jesus, heavenly father in the manger and whatnot,"
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"uh, is this your mans? Hmm?"
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"- With bowed heads..."
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"and bowed--and bowed hearts,"
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"uh, we come to you today, Lord God, uh,"
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"and we ask for, um, protection, Lord God,"
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"and not--and not--and not just protection for us,"
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"but for all of your children, Lord God."
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"And, uh, we, um, uh, we--we do want you to--"
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"even--all the children."
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"The people in Israel even,"
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"and I--it's-- [stammering]"
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"I like the new "Wonder Woman.""
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"She's from over there, I--I think."
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"she--I'm pretty sure-- I mean, honestly,"
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"if I'm--I'll keep it real with you today."
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"I--I'm a Lynda Carter man myself,"
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"but, uh, who amongst us has not..."
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"[person coughs]"
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"Amen."
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"[crowd muttering] - No."
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"- It's--it's--it's hot, okay?"
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"And I'ma go get some water real fast, uh,"
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"and y'all should greet your neighbors while I'm doing that."
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"- Look, baby, if we talk your mom up in God's house,"
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"she'll get out of our house."
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"- You're right. You're right. We can do this."
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"- Plus, we gotta keep our faith in God,"
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"you know what I'm saying, 'cause I'm tired of finding"
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""Mission: Impossible" movies to knock boots to."
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"- Yeah, "Ghost Protocol" is the loudest,"
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"but it's not the best."
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"- Y'all sleeping on "Jurassic Park.""
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"Them dinosaurs ain't got no protocol."
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"- Thanks."
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"- My mother would never tell anybody this."
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"So much pride, baby."
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"- Too much. Too much. - Yeah."
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"She lost a valuable collection"
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"of PT Cruiser paraphernalia."
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"- Tell him. - Keychains."
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"- Mm. - Posters."
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"- Mm-mm. - Shot glasses."
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"- Mm-mm-mm. - Everything."
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"It is tragic, really."
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"- Lord... - Yeah. It's okay."
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"- Why'd you take the bumper stickers, Jesus?"
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"- And I know you liked those. I'm so sorry."
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"[gospel music playing]"
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"* *"
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"[suspenseful music]"
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"* *"
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"- [growls]"
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"[gospel music continues]"
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"* *"
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"- Hey, if y'all don't see me for a while,"
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"just know I'm in some wild shit."
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"- Ooh-wee, I don't know if y'all heard,"
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"but Seymour been messing around on Teisha."
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"Oh, and li'l Melvin big self still in the eighth grade,"
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"but his mama telling everybody he passed."
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"Oh, but apparently,"
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"Brother James got caught in his car"
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"with a bunch of fentanyl,"
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"and that's why his teeth so little."
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"- Dude, stay away from those old ladies, man."
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"You being a thot, and it's weird."
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"- Yeah, and my mama is one of those women."
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"Trust me. You don't want to do that."
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"- I'm not gonna trust you, Nina,"
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"because you and your mother have a terrible relationship."
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"Everybody knows it."
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"Now, look, me and the God squad, we good."
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"Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go help them"
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"get chlorine from their cars for the baptism."
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"- This woman has a heart of gold."
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"- Oh, hush, Clara."
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"- I will not."
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"My car was broke down"
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"on the side of the road, and it was raining."
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"When AAA took all day, she rolled up her sleeves"
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"and fixed my car right then and there."
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"- That was the first time"
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"I laid my hands on a Plymouth Prowler."
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"[laughs]"
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"Best night of my life."
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"- Wait, wait, that was also my birthday that night."
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"- Girl, ain't nobody thinking about your birthday."
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"My friend was left in the rain."
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"[laughs]"
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"- Hey, y'all, if y'all need any magazines,"
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"talk to li'l Amira and Aaliyah, okay?"
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"Them girls need to be supported."
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"They're trying to go to Honduras to build canoes"
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"in the fall, okay?"
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"It's hot. Is Tuan still doing HVAC?"
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"- No, no, no, no, Jesus. You right. You right."
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"But I don't got no tomatoes on me to throw at him,"
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"Jesus, Lord God."
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"You didn't give me none."
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"All right, well, since I can't shoot the messenger,"
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"I'll replace him."
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"- All right, y'all, before we get to the word,"
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"we gonna--we gonna invite up the lovely Noreen--"
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"[applause]"
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"No. Noreen's daughter. Noreen's daughter, y'all."
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"Yes, Nina's gonna come up here and tell us about the situation"
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"that her mama's going through."
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"- I'm not doing that."
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"She got a beard and her pantyhose stank."
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"Do you want me to say that in the microphone?"
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"- Come on, baby. You're our only hope, okay?"
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"You just gotta think of something nice to say,"
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"like she didn't smoke while she was pregnant with you."
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"- She did, though. Look at my little hands."
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"- Damn. - Right?"
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"- All right. I'll do it."
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"- Thank you."
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"- As you can imagine,"
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"Nina is under quite a bit of emotional distress,"
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