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Clips from The Monkees - Monkees on the Line (S01E01)

"How's the girl?"
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"Oh, she's fine. I, uh, kept her from jumping out the window,"
The Monkees
"and stabbing herself, and, uh, taking poison."
The Monkees
"Well, as long as it's not serious-"
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"- you'd better get down here. - Why? What's wrong?"
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"- Peter's missing. - Missing?"
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"- Did you look on the piano? - What did he say?"
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"He said, "Did you look on the piano?""
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"- There's no piano here. - There's no piano here."
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"Oh, well, then that's why he's missing."
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"- He said th- - Piano?"
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"It's for you."
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"Oh. Hello?"
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"For my last wish, will you help me?"
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"Oh, sure. You mean, you're going to tie this to the chandelier,"
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"and then you're gonna stand on the chair,"
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"and then you're gonna, pwop, kick the chair out from under you."
The Monkees
"How'd you guess?"
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"Well, I read a lot. Oh look, Ellen, let's talk about this."
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"- Peter? - Peter?"
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"- Peter? Peter? - Peter?"
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"Peter?"
The Monkees
"Ah!"
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"Peter? Come out, come out, wherever you are."
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"Hey, do you think there's been foul play?"
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"I don't know; I didn't even see the game, a-ha ha. Peter? Peter?"
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"- Peter? - Peter?"
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"- Hey, Peter? - Peter? Hey!"
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"- What? - A red button."
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"- Shall I push it? - Push it! Push it!"
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"- Is he alive? - Was he ever? Huh."
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"- Peter? - Peter?"
The Monkees
"Hm? Where am I?"
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"- You're right here. - Where's here?"
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"The answering service."
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"Urgent Answering Service. Who's calling?"
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"Peter, it's Micky and David."
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"Davy and Micky? They're not here. Can I take a message?"
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"Peter, Peter! Wake up!"
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"Huh? Oh, hi guys. Hey, there was just a call for you."
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"Thanks."
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"Peter, what happened?"
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"I don't know; I just pushed this red button."
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"- Which red button? - That one in there."
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"The little one?"
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"That red button over here? Woo! This red button over here?"
The Monkees
"That's right."
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"Peter? Peter?"
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"Now, look. I know things get kinda bleak sometimes,"
The Monkees
"a-and it looks like the whole world is just running around in circles."
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"It's no use! People are cruel, and people are heartless."
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"Oh, cruel world! Heartless world!"
The Monkees
"Alright now, keep your hands up high. Now, let's talk turkey."
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"Gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble, gobble."
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"What's this all about?"
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"What's this all about? Did you hear that, Arnold?"
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"Bright boy wants to know what this is all about."
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"Yeah, I heard."
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"It's all about the ten G's that was supposed to"
The Monkees
"be placed on Popsicle in the third race at Belmont."
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"You mean you've been using this answering service for placing bets?"
The Monkees
"Oh, there's another bright boy. This place is full of bright boys."
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"Thank you!"
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"You're welcome."
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"What's the beef? Didn't the message get delivered?"
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"Sure it did. But somehow or other,"
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"the ten thousand buck bet was switched from"
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"Popsicle to Pelican, and Popsicle won!"
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"That's the most ridiculous thing I've ever heard in me life."
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"Why would anybody want to change a bet like that?"
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"Well, I thought, I didn't know it was a, a racehorse,"
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"I thought it was a booking for a gig, and,"
The Monkees
"and I gave it to The Pelicans 'cause I knew they needed the work."
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"You have a good heart, Pete."
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"Yeah? And I may stop it."
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"Promise me one thing."
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"Anything, as long as it hurts."
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"Promise me you won't do anything 'til tomorrow."
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"I promise, I promise, I promise!"
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"Okay, you promise, you promise, you promise."
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"Oh, cruel world!"
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"Because of you, bright boy, instead of me winning a hundred grand,"
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"I lose ten thousand. So, somebody in this room owes me ninety thousand bucks."
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"Oh!"
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"Is that all you're worried about? Oh, see that? We have money right here."
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"- Sure, here, wait a minute. - ...got here..."
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"Seventy-seven. Uh, I figure about eight dollars and twelve cents."
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"Two buttons; that ought to be worth a nickel."
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"Yeah, you'll have to wait for the rest."
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"Keep your hands up high! And no monkey business,"
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"if you'll excuse the expression."
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"Ha ha, huh."
The Monkees
"Excuse me, I have to get to the phone. Phone's ringing. Excuse me."
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"If you'll just let me right through here between your two shoulders,"
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"I can just get right to the phone."
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"Excuse me, please. Pardon me. Come on."
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"- Thank you. - You're welcome."
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"The phone is ringing, guys. Can't you hear?"
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"Urgent Answering Ser-oh, we missed her!"
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"Popsicle, Belmont, ninety thousand dollars."
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"Well, you win some and you lose some. I guess I'll just-"
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"- Hold it, buddy. - Huh?"
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"Where do you think you're going?"
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"Well, as a matter of fact, I was going to the dentist."
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"I have this molar with a cavity at the very back."
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"If you look close, you can see it."
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"It's the old dentist bit."
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"- Oh. - Get back there."
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"Okay, you. I want to talk to you. Come over here."
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"Explain to my wife that that was a mistake;"
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"you gave me the wrong message."
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"No, it wasn't; it was the right message."
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"Oh, it's true? Why you-"
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"Wait, wait, wait, wait. Wait."
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"These men here, they're gamblers,"
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"and they've been using this place to place their bets."
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"- Gamblers? - No, no, no."
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"Look out, here comes tomorrow"
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"That's when I'll have to choose"
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"How I wish I could borrow"
The Monkees
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