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Clips from Mike Tyson Mysteries - Thy Neighbor's Life (S03E03)

"Cost a fortune. That and those blinds."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"But, Helen was in charge of all that"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and I'm not supposed to ask any questions,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"just write the checks. (LAUGHS)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(GROANS) Is the mystery why Helen thinks"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"louvered blinds are still a thing?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, no. Oh, damn, I missed my mouth."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Who has a paper towel? Anyone?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I'll get it."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"So, long story short..."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What is the point of saying that?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"No one ever says anything short enough."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And saying that takes up even more time."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Christ, why am I talking? Now I'm wasting all of our time,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and I'm sorry for that,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"but at least I don't preface taking up all of our time"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"by saying, "I'm not gonna take up all of our time.""
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And yes, I'd f--- Helen."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"But first, pants her,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and spank that shitty cook for that meal. (CHUCKLES)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"That salmon, awful!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I mean, just awful."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I'm sorry for you, Gil."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Spent all day radiologing, whatever the f--- that is,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and then you come home to a meal like that? Awful!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"That's better."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"So, as I was saying,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"this was going to be this home office,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and we can't get the Internet in here."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And I've called the cable company,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and they gave me a booster,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and then they reset the router,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and they say the signal is strong,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"so, it's a mystery."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"No Internet."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"That's our mystery!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"The real mystery is where your wife went"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"for that paper towel."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Did she go to the corner store?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I mean, if I knew she was going to the corner store,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I would've had her pick me up some rubbers"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and a pack of smokes."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What? How is that happening here?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Don't get hung up on the logic, just enjoy it."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"It's fun. We're having fun."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Here's the thing, John Goodman."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I wanna help you with your mystery, right?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I really do."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"But I don't like mixing business and friendship."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You and your wife, Gil,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"you guys mean the world to me, you know?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I'm not saying no."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I'm just saying let me think about it, okay?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Damn, motherf----- damn!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"My crudite platter."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-Let's go, let's go! -Dad, slow down!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Why do you need your crudite platter so bad?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Yung, that was a gift from your mother."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"-My mother? -What?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"She left two things at my doorstep."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You and that crudite platter,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and she said, "Take equal care of both.""
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You've never said any of this."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What else did she say?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I don't know. After that, it was all a blur."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"But I made her a promise,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and I'm gonna honor that promise"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"for the rest of my life."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Michael, can't we just get it tomorrow?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"No. If we go over there in the light of day,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"they'll want us to solve their Internet mystery,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and I don't know s--- about electronics."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And then that guy will be disappointed,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and I'll lose my only friend in the whole world."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Uh, "only friend"? What about us?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"That's a one-way friendship."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You guys like me,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"but with the other guy, we like each other."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"He's a radiologist."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I esteem him."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"All right, get down in there."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What? What for?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"We'll get under their house, tunnel up,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and get the platter, and nobody'll be the wiser."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"We can't just climb into a window, Marquess."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Somebody will see us. And I'm a celebrity,"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"and that shit will be all over TMZ, man."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"And guess what then?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"No more Mike Tyson Mysteries."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What, that's not funny?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I thought... I thought that was supposed to be funny."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Here you go, little buddy."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Oh, thank you for placing me"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"directly into this fecal matter."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Hmm, now, what pipe would lead"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"directly into their living room?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Yeah, you'd think they'd be marked."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Ooh, here we go."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"What? What on Earth is this?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(SOFTLY) Wait here. I'll go get the platter."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Why do they have a staircase to the sewer?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(SOFTLY) She didn't even wash it."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Do you guys hear that?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"This doesn't look like 75 kilos. Explain yourself!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Is it safe to talk here?"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"The Feds, they can listen anywhere."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"It's safe. I had signal scrambles installed."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"I know it's working because we have no Internet in the room above us."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"My f------ husband keeps bitching about it."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Okay. Okay."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"We're having supply problems in Acuna."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Everything is going through Laredo, and it's a nightmare."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Hey, excuses are like assholes, everyone's got one."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"MIKE: Oh, damn, she's a drug dealer."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"Hey, policia!"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"You son of a..."
Mike Tyson Mysteries
"(YELLING)"
Mike Tyson Mysteries
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