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Clips from Seinfeld - The Robbery (S01E01)

"- What about it? - The thing is, yesterday..."
Seinfeld
"...I kind of..."
Seinfeld
"- What? - I gave your ticket to Horneck."
Seinfeld
"- You what? - Yeah."
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry. I had to give it to Horneck."
Seinfeld
"No."
Seinfeld
"My ticket?"
Seinfeld
"- You gave my ticket to Horneck? - Come on. Go ahead. Move up."
Seinfeld
"What did you give him my ticket for?"
Seinfeld
"You didn't see him. It was horrible."
Seinfeld
"Oh, come on, Jerry. I can't believe this!"
Seinfeld
"- I had to do it. - Oh, please."
Seinfeld
"Can you change this into bills?"
Seinfeld
"I'm sorry, sir, we can't do that."
Seinfeld
"Do you want to go with him?"
Seinfeld
"- You go, I don't mind. - I'm not going with him!"
Seinfeld
"I don't even know the guy!"
Seinfeld
"Look, they did this for me before."
Seinfeld
"Look, I can give you these, and you can roll them yourself."
Seinfeld
"You want me to roll 6000 of these?"
Seinfeld
"What, should I quit my job?"
Seinfeld
"No, I do not like the bank. I've heard the expression:"
Seinfeld
"Laughing all the way to the bank. I've never seen anyone actually do it."
Seinfeld
"And those bank lines."
Seinfeld
"I hate it when there's nobody on the line at all."
Seinfeld
"You now that part? You go to the bank, it's empty..."
Seinfeld
"...and you still have to go through the little maze."
Seinfeld
"Could you get some cheese for me? I'm almost at the front."
Seinfeld
"I'd like a reward for this, please."
Seinfeld
"- Thirty-two, 33... - George."
Seinfeld
"Not now, 33..."
Seinfeld
"- Thirty... - Could you stop the counting?"
Seinfeld
"- What? - Can I make it up to you?"
Seinfeld
"I'll give you $50 for the jug."
Seinfeld
"Oh, yeah, sure. Keep your money."
Seinfeld
"Well, then I'm not gonna go to the game either."
Seinfeld
"Okay, I'll give him both tickets."
Seinfeld
"Go. Go!"
Seinfeld
"I... No, I don't want to go."
Seinfeld
"- He was really crying? - I had to give him a tissue."
Seinfeld
"In fact, let me call his machine now, and I'll make up some excuse..."
Seinfeld
"...why I can't go to the game either."
Seinfeld
"Wait. Wait a minute. As long as you're gonna lie to the guy..."
Seinfeld
"...why don't you tell him that you lost both of the tickets. Then we can go."
Seinfeld
"George, the man wept."
Seinfeld
"Hey, guys."
Seinfeld
"Man, I'm telling you, this pizza idea is really gonna happen."
Seinfeld
"This is the thing where you go and you have to make your own pizza?"
Seinfeld
"We give you the dough."
Seinfeld
"You smash it. You pound it. You fling it up in the air."
Seinfeld
"And then you get to put your sauce and sprinkle your cheese."
Seinfeld
"And then, you slide it into the oven."
Seinfeld
"You have to know how to do that."
Seinfeld
"You can't have people shoving their arms into a 600-degree oven!"
Seinfeld
"- It's all supervised. - Oh, well..."
Seinfeld
"All of it!"
Seinfeld
"- You want to invest? - My money's tied up in change."
Seinfeld
"You know, look. I'm telling you."
Seinfeld
"People, they really want to make their own pizza pie."
Seinfeld
"I have to say something, with all due respect."
Seinfeld
"I just never... I can't imagine anyone..."
Seinfeld
"...in any walk of life, under any circumstance..."
Seinfeld
"...wanting to make their own pizza pie."
Seinfeld
"- But that's me. - Well, okay."
Seinfeld
"- That's you. - I'm just saying."
Seinfeld
"I just wanted to check with you guys. This business is going to be big."
Seinfeld
"I just want to... Okay."
Seinfeld
"One day, you'll beg me to make your own pie."
Seinfeld
"Hi, Joel. This is Jerry. I hope you get this before you..."
Seinfeld
"Oh, hi, Joel. Oh, you just came in."
Seinfeld
"Listen, I can't make it to the game tonight."
Seinfeld
"I have to tutor my nephew."
Seinfeld
"Yeah, he's got an exam tomorrow."
Seinfeld
"Geometry."
Seinfeld
"You know, trapezoid, rhombus."
Seinfeld
"Anyway, listen, you take the tickets. They're at the will-call window."
Seinfeld
"And I'm really sorry. Have a good time. We'll talk next week, okay? Yeah."
Seinfeld
"Yeah. I don't... Fine."
Seinfeld
"Fine, bye."
Seinfeld
"Trapezoid?"
Seinfeld
"I know. I'm really running out of excuses with this guy."
Seinfeld
"I need some kind of excuse Rolodex."
Seinfeld
"Come on. Let's go do something. I don't want to just sit around here."
Seinfeld
"- Wanna get something to eat? - Where?"
Seinfeld
"I don't care. I'm not hungry."
Seinfeld
"We could go to one of those cappuccino places."
Seinfeld
"They let you just sit there."
Seinfeld
"What are we gonna do there, talk?"
Seinfeld
"We can talk."
Seinfeld
"I'll go if I don't have to talk."
Seinfeld
"Then we'll just sit there."
Seinfeld
"Okay, I'm gonna check my machine first."
Seinfeld
"Picking someone up at airport, jury duty..."
Seinfeld
"...waiting for cable company. - Okay, just hand that over, please."
Seinfeld
"- What is this? - It's a list of excuses."
Seinfeld
"It's for that guy Horneck, who's at the game tonight with my tickets."
Seinfeld
"I have that list now, so in case he calls, I just consult it..."
Seinfeld
"...and I don't have to see him."
Seinfeld
"- God. - I need it."
Seinfeld
"- What are you doing? - I got some for you."
Seinfeld
"- Oh, I don't need any more. - No, no, no."
Seinfeld
"These are good. Listen, listen."
Seinfeld
"You ran out of underwear, you can't leave the house."
Seinfeld
"Very funny."
Seinfeld
"How about you've been diagnosed..."
Seinfeld
"...as a multiple personality? You're not even you."
Seinfeld
"You're Dan."
Seinfeld
"I'm Dan."
Seinfeld
"- Can I have my list back, please? - Here. Here."
Seinfeld
"Jerry Seinfeld, I cannot believe you are doing this."
Seinfeld
"This is absolutely infantile."
Seinfeld
"- What can I do? - Deal with it. Be a man."
Seinfeld
"Oh, no."
Seinfeld
"That's impossible. I'd rather lie to him the rest of my life..."
Seinfeld
"...than go through that again."
Seinfeld
"He was crying."
Seinfeld
"Tears, accompanied by mucus."
Seinfeld
"You made a man cry?"
Seinfeld
"I never made a man cry."
Seinfeld
"I even kicked a guy in the groin once, and he didn't cry."
Seinfeld
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