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Clips from Seinfeld - The Robbery (S01E01)

"You know? I don't know how to say:"
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"Bill, I feel I need to see other men."
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"Know what I mean? There is nothing I can do."
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"I have to wait for someone to die."
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"I think that's the only way out of this relationship."
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"It could be a long time."
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"See the great thing about guys is that we can become friends..."
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"...based on almost nothing."
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"Just two guys will just become friends just because they're two guys."
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"That's almost all we need to have in common."
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"Because sports and women is really all we talk about."
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"If there was no sports and no women, the only thing guys would say is:"
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"So, what's in the refrigerator?"
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"So my shrink wants me to bring my mother in for a session."
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"I mean, this guy is a brilliant man."
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"Lenny Bruce used to go to him..."
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"...and I think, Geraldo."
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"I read the Lenny Bruce biography. I thought it was..."
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"Hey, hey, hey! We're starving here!"
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"...interesting... - We've been waiting here 10 minutes."
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"...that he would..."
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"So I'm thinking about going to Iran this summer."
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"You know, I have to eat."
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"I mean, I'm hypoglycaemic."
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"Anyway, the Hezbollah has invited me to perform."
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"- It's their annual terrorist luncheon. - Yeah."
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"I'm gonna do it in Farsi."
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"Do you think I need a haircut?"
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"Are you ready?"
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"Yeah, I'll have the egg salad on whole wheat."
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"Hey, let me ask you a question. This turkey sandwich here..."
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"...is that real turkey or is it a turkey roll?"
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"I don't want that processed turkey."
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"I hate it."
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"I think it's real turkey."
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"- Is there a real bird in the back? - No, there's no bird, but..."
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"How do you know for sure? Why don't you do me a favour."
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"Why don't you go in the back and find out, okay?"
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"Unbelievable."
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"How can you talk to someone like that?"
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"Look, what are you saying? What, you like turkey roll?"
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"Listen, Joel. There's something I have to tell you."
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"Wait."
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"You'll never guess who I ran into."
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"- Howard Metro. - Howard Metro."
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"He asked me if I still saw you. I said, Sure, I see him all the time."
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"We're still great friends. Anyway, Howard says hello."
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"Listen, Joel."
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"I don't think we should see each other anymore."
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"What?"
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"This friendship, it's not working."
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"Not working? What are you talking about?"
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"We're just not suited to be friends."
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"- But how can you say that? - Look, you're a nice guy."
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"It's just that we don't have anything in common."
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"Wait. What did I do?"
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"Tell me what... I want to know what I did."
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"You didn't do anything. It's not you. It's me."
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"It's... This is very difficult."
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"Look, I know I call you too much. Right? I mean, I know."
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"- You're a very busy guy. - No, it's not that."
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"You're one of the few people I can talk to."
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"Look, come on. Now, that's not true."
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"I always tell everybody about you."
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"I tell everybody to go see his show!"
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"I mean, I'm your biggest fan."
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"- I know, I know. - I mean, you're my best friend."
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"Best friend? I've never been to your apartment."
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"I cannot believe that this is happening! I can't believe it."
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"Okay, okay, forget it. It's okay. I didn't mean it."
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"- Didn't mean what? - What I said."
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"- I've been under a lot of stress. - Oh, you've been under a lot of stress."
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"Look, just... Can we just forget the whole thing ever happened?"
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"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I took it out on you."
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"We're still friends. We're still friends. Still friends."
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"Okay, look. I tell you what. I got Knick tickets. This Wednesday."
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"Great seats behind the bench. You want to come with me?"
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"Come on."
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"Tonight?"
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"No, next Wednesday. If it was tonight, I would've said tonight."
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"You really want me to go?"
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"Yes."
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"- Okay. - Here, take these."
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"Okay. Great. That would be..."
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"That'd be great. So..."
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"...next Wednesday. - Next Wednesday."
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"Say, where is that waitress? Hey!"
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"She calls me up at the office. She says, We have to talk."
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"The four worst words in the English language."
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"That or, Whose bra is this?"
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"That is worse."
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"So we order lunch, and we're talking."
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"Finally, she blurts out how it's not working."
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"Really."
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"So, I'm thinking, as she's saying this, I'm thinking, Great."
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"The relationship's over, but the egg salad's on the way."
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"So now I have a decision. Do I walk or do I eat?"
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"You ate."
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"Sat there for 20 minutes, chewing."
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"Staring at each other in a defunct relationship."
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"Someone says, Get out of my life."
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"And that doesn't affect your appetite?"
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"Have you ever had their egg salad?"
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"- It is unbelievable. - It's unbelievable."
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"Tell you what else is unbelievable. I picked up the check."
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"She didn't even offer. She ended it."
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"The least she could do is send me off with a sandwich."
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"How much could you possibly have in there?"
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"Look, it's my money."
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"All right? What should I do, throw it out the window?"
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"I know a guy who took his vacation on his change."
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"Yeah? Where'd he go? To an arcade?"
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"That's funny. You're a funny guy."
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"Come on, move up."
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"Great. Ewing's hurt."
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"How long is he gonna be out?"
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"Well, a couple days at the most, but..."
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"- Oh, God. - I got scared there for a second."
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"The Knicks without Ewing."
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"Listen, George. A little problem with the game."
Seinfeld
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