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Clips from Big Mouth (2017) - A Very Big Mouth Christmas (S05E05)

"[crackling]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"[decoration jingling]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, hello. Welcome to "A Very Big Mouth Christmas.""
Big Mouth (2017)
"We're gonna have a couple laughs,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"sing a few songs,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"and we're gonna make a promise to you that no other Christmas special can."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Tonight, you're gonna see Santa's dick."
Big Mouth (2017)
"[slurring] Hey, Maury, don't forget to tell them we're sexy puppets."
Big Mouth (2017)
"That's right."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Nothing says Christmas quite like a fist up your ass."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Especially one that goes all the way up to your brain."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Jesus, Connie, the guests aren't even here yet,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"and you're already on your third glass of wine."
Big Mouth (2017)
"It's not wine, it's my jingle juice."
Big Mouth (2017)
"That's two drops of bitters, a shot of Campari,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"and a robust squirt of my very own feminine juices."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Well, just keep that stuff away from the couches, okay?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, come on, party pooper!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"It's Christmas! [retches]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Jesus Christ! Damn it, I gotta clean this up with one puppet arm. Fuckin' A."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I'm sorry. But look how cute my barf is."
Big Mouth (2017)
"It's all pipe cleaners and buttons."
Big Mouth (2017)
"But seriously, Maury,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"what do you think Santa's dick looks like?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"We're gonna find out, Connie, but first, we gotta clean up this adorable mess."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Why don't you guys watch this little movie"
Big Mouth (2017)
"while I top off my drink with some fresh lady juice."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Uh-oh!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-It has begun! [chuckles] -[Christmas music plays]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"A Christmas tree? I think you forgot we're Jewish."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Well, we are, but, you know, Caitlin isn't."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Guilty as Unitarian. [chuckles]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"[groans] Ugh. I don't want to celebrate Christmas,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"I don't want Caitlin living here,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"and I definitely don't want some cheese baby!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Well, I agree about Caitlin and the cheddar child,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"but brie reasonable, Jessi."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Christmas is the best."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I was there for the very first one, you know."
Big Mouth (2017)
"What do you mean "there"?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Well, a long time ago,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"I was a hormones monstress to a very special girl."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Her name was Mary."
Big Mouth (2017)
"The year was zero, and Mary was a horny Jewish tween,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"just like you."
Big Mouth (2017)
"There. Now your hair looks like old times."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, heads up, an angel is about to visit."
Big Mouth (2017)
"She has some news."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-[grunts] -Oh, my God!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Yes, exactly!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"[in sing-song] Somebody likes you."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Really? Who?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"God! That's what I was saying."
Big Mouth (2017)
"He likes you so much he wants you to have his baby."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Insane, right?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Wait. God's gonna have sex with her?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"He does that?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"I mean, I--I know Satan does."
Big Mouth (2017)
"He's dicked me down a number of times, and listen, I him."
Big Mouth (2017)
"No, no. God isn't gonna have sex with her."
Big Mouth (2017)
"He doesn't want to touch Mary. He just wants that baby."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, okay, so it's like a Tom Cruise thing."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Does she need to sign an NDA or something like that?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Mazel Tov, Mary! -[roof crumbles]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Wait a minute. I'm gonna have a baby, but I don't even have sex?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Isn't that like all of the calories but none of the fun?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, honey, women's pleasure is a thing of the future."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Like broccolini."
Big Mouth (2017)
"[hammering]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"So you want me to be the "husband,""
Big Mouth (2017)
"but we don't actually have to do anything except hang out?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"My parents will love this. I'm in!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Okay. Cool, cool, cool."
Big Mouth (2017)
"So none of the men in this story want to touch me?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"[Connie] Anyways, fast forward nine months,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"and you, I mean, Mary, were about to give birth."
Big Mouth (2017)
"But you had no place to do it."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Knockity knock-knock."
Big Mouth (2017)
"My wife is going into labor."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Can we come in?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"And get birth juice all over my new dirt floor?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Take a hike! [slams door]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"[knocks]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Hello, I'm ancient. How can I love you?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Hi, we need a place for my 12-year-old wife here to give birth."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, well, this hotel-motel is filled with diapers and rotten dates"
Big Mouth (2017)
"because that's my community and how I live."
Big Mouth (2017)
"But you can use the barn in the back."
Big Mouth (2017)
"[Connie] And so they went to the barn, but they called it a manger"
Big Mouth (2017)
"'cause I guess that was trendy at the time? I don't know."
Big Mouth (2017)
"So is stoning people, which is dodge ball except with rocks,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"and then you get to, you know, kill a guy with your friends."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-[breathing heavily] -[Connie] And so,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Mary started having the baby."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Thankfully, one of the animals was a doctor."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-His name was Dr. Hooves. -[bleats]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"What do you mean you ate the epidural?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Hi! Knock-knock! Is now a bad time?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Whoa, are you going to the bathroom or something?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Who the hell are you? Get outta here!"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Uh, we're the three kings and we brought you presents."
Big Mouth (2017)
"But if you're gonna be a bitch about it, we can take off."
Big Mouth (2017)
"No, no, no, no, no! What did you bring?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Well, I brought myrrh. I don't know what it is."
Big Mouth (2017)
"But if you smear it on your wang,"
Big Mouth (2017)
"it'll go numb, and then you feel like you're jacking off a stranger."
Big Mouth (2017)
"So hot. You never know when the guy's gonna pop."
Big Mouth (2017)
"And--And I brought gold."
Big Mouth (2017)
"You want me to, like, put it on your stomach?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"-I just don't want the doctor to eat it. -[bleats]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Gold? I thought we were doing a $20 limit."
Big Mouth (2017)
"I just got her the new Tom Clancy scroll. It's good. It's a fun beach scroll."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-[Jessi grunts, strains] -[splat]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"Okay, now she's really going to the bathroom."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-[bleats] -What do you mean it's a cheese baby?"
Big Mouth (2017)
"[coos]"
Big Mouth (2017)
"I already said I don't want a cheese baby."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Oh, I don't know. I think Baby Cheesus is kinda cute."
Big Mouth (2017)
"Goo-goo gouda."
Big Mouth (2017)
"-Now this will pair well with me! -[tinkles]"
Big Mouth (2017)
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