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Clips from Single Drunk Female - Sober for the D and V (S01E01)

"If we were both newcomers, then"
Single Drunk Female
"this would have wound up very differently."
Single Drunk Female
"Please don't do that. Okay? Seriously?"
Single Drunk Female
"The, like, rejecting me"
Single Drunk Female
"and then saying maybe. It..."
Single Drunk Female
"‐I don't like it. It's not good. ‐Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"Uh... you're right."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, let me just draw a hard line."
Single Drunk Female
"‐We pals? ‐Shh."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Yeah. Let's do it. Got to walk the gra... ‐(groans)"
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, all right. You're good. You're..."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, forget that dude. You know what?"
Single Drunk Female
"He's probably a serial killer."
Single Drunk Female
"Not everyone who doesn't sleep with me is a serial killer."
Single Drunk Female
"Also, if he were a serial killer I'm pretty sure"
Single Drunk Female
"he'd want to bang me first."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, you're probably right."
Single Drunk Female
"It's okay, though. Hey, let me see your phone."
Single Drunk Female
"Let's get on the apps. We're getting you laid tonight."
Single Drunk Female
"(sighs) Let me see what we're working with here."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, so, clearly, it's been a minute."
Single Drunk Female
"I crush it on Tinder. And in my experience,"
Single Drunk Female
"men like it when you say you give free haircuts"
Single Drunk Female
"and you're not looking for a father for your kid."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, I don't think those really apply to me."
Single Drunk Female
"Right. Well, what are you looking for?"
Single Drunk Female
"You still into guys and girls?"
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, pretty much anybody."
Single Drunk Female
"As long as they're not vegan."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Who is this? ‐What? Let me see."
Single Drunk Female
"(gasps softly) No judgement."
Single Drunk Female
"Cool. Cool, cool, cool."
Single Drunk Female
"So I slept with some really disgusting people."
Single Drunk Female
"Hey, don't focus on who was in your vag."
Single Drunk Female
"Focus on who's gonna be in your vag, right?"
Single Drunk Female
"All right, let's take some new pics."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Right now? ‐Mm‐hmm."
Single Drunk Female
"Lose the sundae."
Single Drunk Female
"Sit over there."
Single Drunk Female
"Mm‐hmm."
Single Drunk Female
"Legs up. Like a little bunny."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"Hmm."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay."
Single Drunk Female
"Hold this. Pretend like you're reading it."
Single Drunk Female
"Or I could actually read it. I know how to read."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, great. That'll make it look much more natural."
Single Drunk Female
"Okay, ready? Here we go."
Single Drunk Female
"Sober Sam. On the prowl."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Yes, baby. ‐(shutter clicking)"
Single Drunk Female
"Look at her."
Single Drunk Female
"She's a real lady."
Single Drunk Female
"She sits like a lady and reads thick‐ass books."
Single Drunk Female
"Yes. Yes, my Jewish jaguar."
Single Drunk Female
"MAN (over P. A.): The next train to board will be a high‐capacity train."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Brit? ‐Oh, my God. Mrs. Fink."
Single Drunk Female
"Carol. Hi."
Single Drunk Female
"It feels like it's been 50 years."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Oh! ‐(chuckles)"
Single Drunk Female
"‐And you look so beautiful. ‐Oh."
Single Drunk Female
"But a little tired. Are you just getting off?"
Single Drunk Female
"I'm actually on my way in. Uh, how are you?"
Single Drunk Female
"I'm good. And, um, Samantha..."
Single Drunk Female
"‐is back. ‐Yeah, I know."
Single Drunk Female
"‐That must be nice. ‐It is what it is."
Single Drunk Female
"You must be getting so excited."
Single Drunk Female
"‐For the wedding. It's, what, just a few months away. ‐Oh. Oh, my God,"
Single Drunk Female
"yeah. Ah. We get so bogged down with planning,"
Single Drunk Female
"sometimes I forget to get excited, but we are."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm so happy for you."
Single Drunk Female
"That Joel is a lucky duck."
Single Drunk Female
"You're a star, always been a star."
Single Drunk Female
"Thank you."
Single Drunk Female
"Do you ever think..."
Single Drunk Female
"I probably shouldn't say this, but..."
Single Drunk Female
"It's a little strange‐‐ the way you two met, right?"
Single Drunk Female
"‐What? ‐Don't get me wrong, it's completely natural."
Single Drunk Female
"You and Joel bonded over the shared trauma"
Single Drunk Female
"of taking care of her."
Single Drunk Female
"I'm... I know it's uncomfortable that we're..."
Single Drunk Female
"‐we dated the same guy. ‐No. (short chuckle)"
Single Drunk Female
"No, I'm so happy for you two."
Single Drunk Female
"No, Joel was not the right person for Samantha."
Single Drunk Female
"I never liked them together."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Really? ‐Yes. Oh."
Single Drunk Female
"You... you remember Sam in high school."
Single Drunk Female
"Of course. You two were inseparable."
Single Drunk Female
"And I remember thinking"
Single Drunk Female
"at the time, "She needs a deep thinker.""
Single Drunk Female
"Someone who can engage with her,"
Single Drunk Female
"which is so not Joel."
Single Drunk Female
"Because..."
Single Drunk Female
"Samantha was gonna stay in New York after college,"
Single Drunk Female
"so she needed to meet that person"
Single Drunk Female
"in New York."
Single Drunk Female
"Uh, clearly, Joel has a great head on his shoulders."
Single Drunk Female
"(announcement continues indistinctly)"
Single Drunk Female
"Are you taking the Orange Line?"
Single Drunk Female
"♪ ♪"
Single Drunk Female
"Okay. This dude won't even know what hit him."
Single Drunk Female
"‐Yeah, what's his name again? ‐Brian. I picked him out"
Single Drunk Female
"especially for you, he's perfect."
Single Drunk Female
"He's married to his job, so he has no time"
Single Drunk Female
"for a relationship, just the sexy fun times."
Single Drunk Female
"Oh, and I saw a plant in his pictures."
Single Drunk Female
"Fiddle‐leaf fig. The dream."
Single Drunk Female
"Yeah, it might not have been a good idea to put you"
Single Drunk Female
"‐in charge of my sex life. ‐Hey. You got this, all right?"
Single Drunk Female
"Just remember to order something sexy."
Single Drunk Female
"Well, it's a coffee shop, so..."
Single Drunk Female
"Whole milk cappuccino, extra foam."
Single Drunk Female
"It'll send the right message."
Single Drunk Female
"Hey, don't over a macchiato. That's butt stuff."
Single Drunk Female
"BRIAN: So, basically,"
Single Drunk Female
"I try to determine what the stock market's gonna do"
Single Drunk Female
"tomorrow and the day after that, and the day after that."
Single Drunk Female
"That's why they call it futures."
Single Drunk Female
"Ah. So you have, like,"
Single Drunk Female
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