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Clips from New Girl - Cooler (S02E02)

"You can relax."
New Girl
"I'm taken."
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"You were very beautiful from across the bar."
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"I'm sorry. I'm Schmidt."
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"I'm sorry... we were talking, Schmidt."
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"He works here."
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"As a bartender."
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"Yeah, I do. (laughs)"
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"JESS: February clean-out."
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"What do you think, Nick?"
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"I'm bored!"
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"No bottoms, no bottoms."
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"Bottoms on top!"
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"(monotone): Robot can't find clothes to fit right."
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"Robot can't find clothes."
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"♪"
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"(speaking in slow-motion):"
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"I do it for Kenya."
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"(thud) (panting)"
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"Silver?!"
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"Damn you, Zimbabwe."
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"(panting, tapping on door)"
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"JESS: Hello?"
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"(scratching on door)"
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"Hello?"
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"Nice coat you got there."
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"Well, I just actually wear it 'cause"
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"it gives me confidence."
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"That's kind of sad."
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"You know what's really sad"
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"is that he stole the jacket."
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"It's not technically stealing."
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"He's still reeling from being dumped."
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"- Aw. - He's attached to it."
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"Like a little bitch bwanky."
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"It's not like a blanky, dude."
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"- It looks like a bwanky. - It's not like my bwanky."
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"The only reason I'm out tonight is to make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."
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"That's not true. I'm not gonna..."
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"Shut up, Schmidt."
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"I mean, I could take care of you,"
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"- if you wanted. - You can what?"
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"I love sad guys and you seem sadder than most."
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"I think your plan sounds okay."
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"When you go home at night, do you look in the mirror"
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"and just think, I am the worst?"
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"- Actually yes, I do. - Yeah?"
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"- Yeah, a lot of the times. - You hate yourself?"
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"I definitely don't like myself."
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"It's right on the line of hate."
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"What the hell is this?"
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"I don't know how to talk to women."
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"Reason being, I feel like"
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"you all think that I just want one thing from you."
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"- Mm-hmm. - I want the one thing."
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"But a bunch of other th... can a man just want all the things?"
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"I mean, damn."
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"I like a challenge."
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"And you are one big challenge."
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"I'm Daisy."
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"Winston."
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"Sam, it's Jess."
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"Please come get me."
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"I'm probably fine, but I also might be dead."
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"Good-bye."
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"(beep) It's Cece, leave a message."
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"Cece, it's Jess-- call me back,"
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"I'm alone in the loft."
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"I think there's something out... (phone beeps)"
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"There's something sexy about a man who just needs me"
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"to make him feel better."
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"I honestly need you to make me feel better. (cell phone rings)"
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"- Nicholas, your phone's ringing. - Not now, Schmidt!"
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"- Hey, Jess. It's Jess. - Schmidt, stop."
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"- You should really talk to her. - Unbelievable. I am so sad."
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"Nicholas, you have a phone call."
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"Don't do this, Schmidt, please don't."
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"You are the dumbest..."
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"Would you wait one second?"
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"I'm just... I just have to do this."
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"- I'll be sad in a second. - Yep."
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"- Hi. - Hi."
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"- I'm sad. - Okay."
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"Uh, what is going on?"
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"There's something at the door and you have to come home."
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"Cooler, Jess-- you are being a cooler right now."
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"Seriously, I think it might be gang related."
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"I've always been worried"
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"about my blue curtains..."
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"(whispers): Crips."
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"The Cri... Jess, I'm done! JESS: Nick,"
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"I need you."
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"Yeah, so this is the place."
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"I'm really glad you're here."
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"The bedrooms are that way..."
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"(shrieking)"
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"(all screaming)"
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"What are you doing, pal?"
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"Never leave me alone again."
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"I'd like to introduce you"
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"to our roommate Jess."
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"Welcome to our home."
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"Jess, this loft has old pipes--"
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"but you never listen during pipe talk."
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"Well, pipe talk's boring."
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"- What is this? - What is what...?"
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"(laughs)"
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"You drew my face on a melon?"
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"What else was I supposed to draw your face on?"
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"Nothing. Don't draw my face."
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"- Okay. - Jess,"
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"for some reason, that girl out there,"
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"she is sexually"
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"aroused by other people's misery."
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"Do you understand the position that puts me in?"
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"It puts you in a really good position?"
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"It really does. And then what happens?"
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"Okay, I understand how, in this instance,"
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"I might have cooled things off for you."
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"- Thank you for admitting that. - I am prepared to fix it."
New Girl
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