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Clips from Silicon Valley - Server Space (S02E02)

"Damn it."
Silicon Valley
"Again?"
Silicon Valley
"Let me ask you something, Richard."
Silicon Valley
"You sure it's not urine"
Silicon Valley
"and you're not just wetting the bed?"
Silicon Valley
"Yeah, I'm sure. It's... it's not."
Silicon Valley
"It's just sweat."
Silicon Valley
"Well, then the medical term for what you have"
Silicon Valley
"is night sweats."
Silicon Valley
"Okay."
Silicon Valley
"But night sweats can be a precursor"
Silicon Valley
"to bed-wetting, and that is very serious."
Silicon Valley
"How serious?"
Silicon Valley
"- Like, uh, cancer? - No!"
Silicon Valley
"It's embarrassing."
Silicon Valley
"I mean, you're a grown man, Richard. Come on."
Silicon Valley
"That's what children do."
Silicon Valley
"But I'm not wetting the bed."
Silicon Valley
"Yet! How's your stress level been?"
Silicon Valley
"Uh, it's gotten worse."
Silicon Valley
"Um, I have to get a working beta of my platform"
Silicon Valley
"ready in time for January."
Silicon Valley
"I just took money from a guy who is a nightmare."
Silicon Valley
"I hired six new people."
Silicon Valley
"We're going to spend a ton of money on new offices."
Silicon Valley
"It's like every second, there is a new issue that I have to solve."
Silicon Valley
"I am stressed as hell."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, currently, your stress level is here."
Silicon Valley
"And that's night-sweats level."
Silicon Valley
"Now if you're not careful and you let it go up,"
Silicon Valley
"bed-wetting."
Silicon Valley
"I love these walls."
Silicon Valley
"You know what it is? They're exposed brick."
Silicon Valley
"Why would anyone ever hide brick?"
Silicon Valley
"Did you see the conference nook?"
Silicon Valley
"Just think of the conferences we could have in this nook."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, yeah. I mean, this is really expensive."
Silicon Valley
"So, um, what did the doctor say?"
Silicon Valley
"Uh, it's nothing. It's just stress-related night sweats."
Silicon Valley
"- I'll be fine. - That's good to hear."
Silicon Valley
"- Are you relieved? - I would have been"
Silicon Valley
"if that idiot hadn't have mentioned something"
Silicon Valley
"about how it can lead to, uh, bed-wetting."
Silicon Valley
"I'm just trying not to think about it."
Silicon Valley
"Good, don't. Definitely."
Silicon Valley
"Because just thinking about it would probably stress you out"
Silicon Valley
"- enough to make it happen... - Stop!"
Silicon Valley
"Would you... Don't say stress."
Silicon Valley
"I just said that I was trying not to think about it."
Silicon Valley
"Well, Richard, personal management"
Silicon Valley
"is a big part of being a CEO."
Silicon Valley
"You think working here might help?"
Silicon Valley
"Actually, uh, yeah. I think it would."
Silicon Valley
"But can we afford it?"
Silicon Valley
"Well, this is an investment in your mental health."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, I mean, can you put a dollar value on not wetting your bed?"
Silicon Valley
"Ahh, don't."
Silicon Valley
"If you want this, Richard, even with the money we wasted"
Silicon Valley
"on swag and billboards, I think I can make the numbers work."
Silicon Valley
"It's your call."
Silicon Valley
"Hey, guys? Um, this is Yelena."
Silicon Valley
"She got off the elevator at the wrong floor"
Silicon Valley
"because her modeling agency is upstairs."
Silicon Valley
"Richard?"
Silicon Valley
"- Yeah. - Please?"
Silicon Valley
"Primarily for other reasons,"
Silicon Valley
"but, uh, yes! Yeah, sure. Uh, we're gonna take it."
Silicon Valley
"We're take... We're taking it."
Silicon Valley
"- Take? Oh. - I'm gonna hug you."
Silicon Valley
"No."
Silicon Valley
"All right, this one's ready to go out to the truck."
Silicon Valley
"Great. Take it out."
Silicon Valley
"Okay, you know what? I said we should hire movers."
Silicon Valley
"I don't do this kind of stuff."
Silicon Valley
"I work with my mind, not with my hands."
Silicon Valley
"In Pakistan, we had servants who did this."
Silicon Valley
"It wasn't a big deal. We didn't pay them very much and they were very happy."
Silicon Valley
"I'll take out your box of tampons."
Silicon Valley
"It's good for the soul."
Silicon Valley
"Interesting pitch."
Silicon Valley
"I will admit, I have never heard"
Silicon Valley
"a Christian-oriented riff on dog-sharing."
Silicon Valley
"But Christianity is borderline illegal"
Silicon Valley
"in Northern California. Also, how would you scale?"
Silicon Valley
"Well, we could expand"
Silicon Valley
"from sharing dogs to other types of pets..."
Silicon Valley
"- Pot-bellied pigs, ferrets... - I'm gonna stop you right there."
Silicon Valley
"You do know that ferrets are illegal in the state of California?"
Silicon Valley
"Hmm? No."
Silicon Valley
"Well, then I suppose you also don't know"
Silicon Valley
"that pot-bellied pigs have been wildly unfashionable since 2005."
Silicon Valley
"Owning a pot-bellied pig is frowned upon almost as much as being a Christian."
Silicon Valley
"Thank you, gentlemen. Good day."
Silicon Valley
"And technically, I'm not passing on Dog Dammit."
Silicon Valley
"I'm just not saying yes."
Silicon Valley
"But who knows? The Lord works in mysterious ways."
Silicon Valley
"I don't have to tell you that."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, do you have a moment?"
Silicon Valley
"I'd like to present you something."
Silicon Valley
"Okay, what's up?"
Silicon Valley
"- What are you doing? - Bowing."
Silicon Valley
"The Japanese have the most advanced business culture in the world."
Silicon Valley
"I am showing you respect by using their traditions."
Silicon Valley
"And traditionally, you give a gift"
Silicon Valley
"on important occasions, such as the graduating of an incubee."
Silicon Valley
"Incubee? Is that a word?"
Silicon Valley
"Of course it is. One who's been incubated."
Silicon Valley
"The inhabitant of an incubator."
Silicon Valley
"Okay. Okay."
Silicon Valley
"Now you bow. I'd really rather not."
Silicon Valley
"Richard, I need you to bow."
Silicon Valley
"- To the waist. - To the waist?"
Silicon Valley
"Okay."
Silicon Valley
"Now I hand this to you,"
Silicon Valley
"and it is customary for you to politely refuse"
Silicon Valley
"and weakly say that you are not worthy."
Silicon Valley
"Erlich, I really don't have time for this."
Silicon Valley
"That's perfect. Here you go."
Silicon Valley
"Good."
Silicon Valley
"Oh, wow."
Silicon Valley
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