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Clips from Duncanville (2020) - Stan in the Place Where You Live (S02E02)

"‐ Idiot?"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Thank you. ‐ No, honey."
Duncanville (2020)
"You just have a different way of thinking"
Duncanville (2020)
"because your fontanelles never closed."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ [groans] Me no want test take."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Too bad."
Duncanville (2020)
"Now, let's go before anything can ruin my dreams for you."
Duncanville (2020)
"Stan?"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Hey, sis. What's up?"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ I told you to never come back"
Duncanville (2020)
"after you sold my wedding cake"
Duncanville (2020)
"to the couple in the banquet hall next door."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ How else was I supposed to afford a gift?"
Duncanville (2020)
"Hey, do you mind if I lay low"
Duncanville (2020)
"until some douches I sold fake Coachella tickets to"
Duncanville (2020)
"stop looking for me?"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ If I miss Cardi B's hologram, I'm kicking your ass!"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ And as a thank‐you, I brought doughnuts."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ No doubt one of your flimflams."
Duncanville (2020)
"Probably filled with ill‐gotten jelly, pilfered cream,"
Duncanville (2020)
"and glazed with the tears of the innocent."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Hmm, I think they're assorted."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Who are you?"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Hey, you're new. I'm Uncle Stan."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ As in "Don't wind up like Uncle Stan"?"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Yeah. Only an idiot would be impressed by this con man."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Is that your van? Cool. ‐ Yep."
Duncanville (2020)
"Used to carry old people to church,"
Duncanville (2020)
"but they left their keys in it."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Classic Stan. Good to see you, buddy."
Duncanville (2020)
"I'd give you a hug, but you'd pickpocket me."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ I'm sorry, Stan, but we have a very busy schedule,"
Duncanville (2020)
"and Duncan has to get to his test."
Duncanville (2020)
"Oh, crap. Now I'm running late for work."
Duncanville (2020)
"Jack, you take Duncan."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ No can do. Going to Pipe‐Con."
Duncanville (2020)
"They're debuting a new kind of pipe."
Duncanville (2020)
"Don't wait up! ‐ I could drive Duncan."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ No! You'll corrupt him with your pool halls,"
Duncanville (2020)
"pitching pennies,"
Duncanville (2020)
"and stealing pies off old ladies' windowsills."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Mmm."
Duncanville (2020)
"Annie, relax."
Duncanville (2020)
"I'll take him straight to school."
Duncanville (2020)
"I won't stop for anything, not even lights."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Okay."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Come on, Duncan. Let's haul ass."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ [gasps]"
Duncanville (2020)
"Dive! [tires squealing]"
Duncanville (2020)
"This van is so cool."
Duncanville (2020)
"You got carpeting on the ceiling,"
Duncanville (2020)
"a floor hole so you can see the street,"
Duncanville (2020)
"and is that bucket in the corner what I think it's for?"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Collecting seashells? You bet ya."
Duncanville (2020)
"You want to see something really cool?"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ No way! Are these Uh‐Oh Oreos?"
Duncanville (2020)
"With the wrong frosting on the inside?"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Yep. But they stopped making 'em in 2009."
Duncanville (2020)
"They were driving kids' brains crazy."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Can I have one? ‐ Yeah, sure."
Duncanville (2020)
"Have the whole box."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Are those shot glasses from all the places you've been?"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Yep. Every Margaritaville in the United States."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Even Indianapolis?"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Worst food poisoning of my life."
Duncanville (2020)
"Here we are‐‐"
Duncanville (2020)
"Croakdale High School, where dreams go to die."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ I wish I didn't have to take this stupid PSAT."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ I hear you, man‐‐ I didn't take it,"
Duncanville (2020)
"and I've turned out great. [van door closes]"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ What are you gonna do while I'm in there?"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Probably win money at cards or trick a water park"
Duncanville (2020)
"into thinking they gave me pink eye."
Duncanville (2020)
"Or I might just stay here and rock out to some tunes."
Duncanville (2020)
"I don't know. Good luck."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Duncan, I saved you a seat"
Duncanville (2020)
"under the blinking fluorescent light."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Hey, they just said the test is untimed,"
Duncanville (2020)
"so we're gonna be here late!"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Cool, more heat for me."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Bad news‐‐the teacher's bathroom is locked,"
Duncanville (2020)
"so we can't crap in it."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ All right, students, take your seats."
Duncanville (2020)
"It's very dry in here, so while you're taking your test,"
Duncanville (2020)
"I'll be coughing and nose‐whistling all day."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ [imitates rock music playing]"
Duncanville (2020)
"[nose whistling]"
Duncanville (2020)
"[continues imitating rock music playing]"
Duncanville (2020)
"[nose continues whistling]"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Let's go. I'm skipping the test!"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Hey, I hope all the cool things"
Duncanville (2020)
"I showed you about my life didn't influence your decision."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Absolutely it did."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Right on! Warm Pepsi?"
Duncanville (2020)
"[tires squealing]"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Goodbye, future!"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ So what are you in the mood for?"
Duncanville (2020)
"Taco truck? Crab legs truck? Tex‐Mex Mex‐Tex truck?"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Oh, my mom doesn't let me eat at food trucks."
Duncanville (2020)
"She calls 'em curb pirates."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Well, your mom's not here, is she?"
Duncanville (2020)
"Duncan, she's not here. ‐ Number 46!"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Well, it took you long enough!"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ [laughs] It's funny 'cause the food was for his family."
Duncanville (2020)
"You're the best, Uncle Stan."
Duncanville (2020)
"I wish we were related."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ We are. I'm your uncle."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Oh, I thought that was your first name."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Yeah, it's probably best you didn't take that test."
Duncanville (2020)
"Hey, open fontanelles, huh?"
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Mmm, me like taco."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Now you do me."
Duncanville (2020)
"Family it runs in."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ That was an awesome day, Uncle Stan!"
Duncanville (2020)
"First, I find out we're brothers."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ No, I'm your mother's brother."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ [laughs] You're gonna have to draw it for me."
Duncanville (2020)
"Come on, let's go in."
Duncanville (2020)
"I'll show you my old crutches from when I did that backflip."
Duncanville (2020)
"‐ Now, that sounds sick, but first I got to lay on my back"
Duncanville (2020)
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