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Clips from The Simpsons - The Nightmare After Krustmas (S28E28)

"so we could learn more about each other."
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"Well, I learned!"
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"(CRYING) What? Seriously?"
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"You really want me to go?"
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"Yes."
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"Right now."
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"(DOORBELL RINGS)"
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"Uh, can we get some room tone?"
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"Just 20 seconds."
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"Oh, Sophie! Please, forgive me."
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"I canceled the show."
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"I'm pulling up duct tape myself,"
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"like a caveman! (GRUNTING)"
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"If the Word of God isn't enough,"
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"I also have some rubber jar openers."
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"(GROANS) I've been directing Christmas pageants for 30 years."
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"Forget it. Our nonsense is so much better than your nonsense."
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"Look at this guy! He can be a Pixar hero."
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"Look at him!"
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"for the God game."
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"Maybe I could teach S.A.T. Prep."
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"At least there are answers in the back of that book."
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"(GRUNTS)"
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"(CRIES) What kind of poison do you serve to a guy"
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"whose daughter hates his guts?"
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"Yeah. Try a Duff Numb. No flavor, just alcohol."
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"(GULPS)"
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"I need something that makes me feel better in my heart."
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"Like firing a writer."
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"Mm..."
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"in this world, or any other."
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"J.J. Abrams?"
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"No. Jesus."
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"He is reaching his arms out to you."
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"I am a Christian!"
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"(ANGELIC VOICES SINGING)"
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"Uh, Chief, I think you got him."
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"Just bang his head on the car door"
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"- Merry Christmas. - (CRACKLING)"
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"Good night, sweet Maggie."
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"Mwah."
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"Why are you huddling over there?"
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"The gnome can't see you."
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"I'll move your crib closer."
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"(GRUNTING)"
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"There."
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"(CLOCK TICKING)"
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"Oh, sorry, I forgot your nightlight."
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"(IN BABY VOICE): The gnome can't nibble your fingers"
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"if he can't see them."
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"(PSYCHO TYPE VIOLIN STINGS)"
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"I thought I'd try the violin."
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"(WIND WHISTLING)"
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"(OBJECT FALLS)"
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"(WIND WHISTLING)"
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"(TERRIFIED SUCKING)"
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"I've got a tummy ache."
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"Maybe I ate too much before bedtime."
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"Have you been a bad baby?"
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"Oh."
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"Don't lie to me..."
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"or Christmas morning will never come!"
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"(LAUGHING)"
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"(YELLS)"
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"Oh, don't worry, Maggie."
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"He can't beat the super team of Santa, Jack Frost,"
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"He's got a gun."
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"Merry Christmas, Maggie!"
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"She was?!"
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"Well, you did such a good job, Mr. Gnome,"
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"that we're gonna leave you here"
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"by the hands of Barnabas and Saul.""
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"Now, I'd like to introduce"
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"our newest brother in faith:"
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"Krusty the Christian."
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"♪ How sweet the sound ♪"
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"♪ That saved a putz ♪"
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"♪ Like me. ♪"
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"And the good news is, Spycraft Toys makes"
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"other invasive dolls: Narc In The Park,"
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"and Snoop While You Poop."
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"Won't that be fun?"
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"So much fun. (SLURPS)"
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"(CHUCKLES) Another Christmas in the bag."
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"I love my juicer."
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"(CHUCKLES EXCITEDLY)"
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"(SCARED STAMMERING)"
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"What is it?"
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"(DRUMROLL)"
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"(CYMBALS CRASH) Pray, pray, kids."
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"We've got a very uplifting show today."
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"And now please silently reflect"
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"upon the wholesome new teachings of Itchy and Scratchy."
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"♪ They pray, they pray ♪"
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"♪ Pray, pray, pray, they found a way ♪"
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"♪ The pious mouse and cat. ♪"
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"_"
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""They shall beat their swords"
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"into plowshares.""
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"(BOTH GRUNTING)"
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"Wow, Dad, you wrecked your entire show"
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"just to prove you love me."
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"Wait a minute, wait a minute."
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"Here comes a cream pie."
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"(PENNYWHISTLE PLAYS)"
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"Coming up next, we've got some hilarious comedians."
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"Finally."
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"Andrew Nice Clay,"
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"Larry the Fable Guy"
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"and Joe Piscopalian."
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"Oh, if he was gonna convert,"
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"why didn't he pick a funny religion?"
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"Like Zoroastrianism."
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"Their top god is named Mazda."
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"(GROANS)"
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"And now the moment you've been waiting for..."
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"The nature of the universe is we are forced to wait"
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"for every moment."
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"As Mazda teaches us..."
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"My daughter will play"
The Simpsons
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