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Clips from American Dad! - Shallow Vows (S05E05)

"I've re-created the menu, the flowers."
American Dad!
"I even have a string quartet playing the score from Room With a View."
American Dad!
"We didn't have that at our wedding."
American Dad!
"you heard a song playing from a third-story window."
American Dad!
"You didn't know what it was, but secretly wished you had walked down the aisle to it."
American Dad!
"How did you- I never shared that with anyone."
American Dad!
"Last Wednesday when you were in the bath, I snuck up and ethered you good."
American Dad!
"You hummed that song for me. I had a top musicologist beside me and he identified it."
American Dad!
"He saw me naked?"
American Dad!
"Oh, I don't need to. It still fits."
American Dad!
"Really? Look at you!"
American Dad!
"- She is just beautiful. - That's the reason I married her."
American Dad!
"- Well, that's not the only reason. - Yes, it is."
American Dad!
"- Just my appearance? - That is correct."
American Dad!
"You know, I'm not so sure I want to renew vows with..."
American Dad!
"Don't give up on this, Francine. There were good times."
American Dad!
"Think back. He must have done something to show his love was true."
American Dad!
"[Burp] Ignore that. Steak-umms."
American Dad!
"Well, two weeks before our wedding..."
American Dad!
"Stan and I agreed not to see each other."
American Dad!
"At the ceremony, when I stepped out of the limo..."
American Dad!
"and told me he never wanted to be away from me again!"
American Dad!
"Oh- Yeah, yeah! Of course. I was joking!"
American Dad!
"I love you for more than your looks."
American Dad!
"You have no sense of humor. Good thing you're pretty."
American Dad!
"I'll film the whole thing and make it an extra on the DVD..."
American Dad!
"I'm kidding. At least I think I'm kidding."
American Dad!
"I left him alone with her for a half hour while I took a nap."
American Dad!
"- Okay, Roger. Let's do it. - It's still on!"
American Dad!
"I'm Jeannie Gold, wedding planner extraordinaire!"
American Dad!
"And a survivor."
American Dad!
"- [Door Closes] - I got to hand it to you. You're doing a great job."
American Dad!
"- Are you hitting on me? - What?"
American Dad!
"This happens all the time. I will not let you ruin your wedding!"
American Dad!
"I will give you a handy-j to keep you out of trouble."
American Dad!
"We're looking for some china for our parents' 20th anniversary gift."
American Dad!
"What do you have for under 30 bucks?"
American Dad!
"Them? [Chuckles] No. It's $30 for one."
American Dad!
"Just put it in your largest free box."
American Dad!
"- May I? - Oh, I shouldn't."
American Dad!
"But... yes."
American Dad!
"## [Humming]"
American Dad!
"## [Classical]"
American Dad!
"You, distribute these bags of rice to the guests."
American Dad!
"Screw the birds! Here's what I think of the birds!"
American Dad!
"[Squawk]"
American Dad!
"Roger, where- Aww."
American Dad!
"- Where's Francine? - Francine is on her way with her parents."
American Dad!
"- How is that possible? - I know. I look too young to have kids in college."
American Dad!
"No, that you have children when your persona is totally fabricated."
American Dad!
""We are the music-makers. We are the dreamers of dreams.""
American Dad!
"That is an unsatisfying answer."
American Dad!
"Oh, from Landon's! De-Iovely!"
American Dad!
"You could put it in a curio case. You could sew with it."
American Dad!
"The boy is to die first!"
American Dad!
"What happened? Let me get that for you, dear. Bite down on this."
American Dad!
"[Groaning, Muffled Screaming]"
American Dad!
"- [Moaning] - Okay, everyone! Places!"
American Dad!
"## [Strings: Processional]"
American Dad!
"Mom, here she comes!"
American Dad!
"- [Gasps] - Alex, Ronnie, cut!"
American Dad!
"Mama's not making a monster movie."
American Dad!
"- What are you looking for? - The makeup guy from Norbit."
American Dad!
"Rick Baker, get out here, you talented son of a bitch!"
American Dad!
"Stan, this is me."
American Dad!
"What the hell happened?"
American Dad!
"I stopped doing my beauty regimen."
American Dad!
"And started her ugly regimen."
American Dad!
"You don't know what it takes for me to look good."
American Dad!
"After you leave for work I do the treadmill until I throw up."
American Dad!
"Then I go to my hairdresser where I get my roots touched up."
American Dad!
"Followed by a lunch of iced tea and laxatives."
American Dad!
"[Gasps]"
American Dad!
"Hey, beautiful."
American Dad!
"- And I also stopped wearing my retainer. - Why are you doing this?"
American Dad!
"and all this time you've only appreciated me for my looks?"
American Dad!
"I need you to love me for who I am on the inside!"
American Dad!
"Oh, man. She scared me."
American Dad!
"You see that? I almost punched her in the face."
American Dad!
"The second rule you can read on my Web site. You have to be 18 to log on."
American Dad!
"I have some sexy barnyard stuff on there that is not for everyone."
American Dad!
"If you do decide to check it out, you need to clear your history right away."
American Dad!
"You may need to uninstall your browser."
American Dad!
"- They will take us both to jail. - ## [Processional]"
American Dad!
"It's worse when she's in motion."
American Dad!
"I can't go through with this. I'm just gonna sneak out."
American Dad!
"You ran out on our wedding?"
American Dad!
"To be fair- To be fair, Francine..."
American Dad!
"To be fair, you're ugly."
American Dad!
"This was a test to see if you loved me for who I am."
American Dad!
"Are you that shallow, Stan?"
American Dad!
"then I don't even know why we're married."
American Dad!
"Either you love me for who I am or lose me forever."
American Dad!
"Okay, okay."
American Dad!
"If it means that much to you, I'll try to get to know the real you."
American Dad!
"- Honest? - Honest."
American Dad!
"It'll be like dating all over again."
American Dad!
"But, Stan, wait! The fish!"
American Dad!
"Well, I guess I could make love to it one more time..."
American Dad!
"This is fun, huh?"
American Dad!
"There you go."
American Dad!
"Stan, an Orthodox Jewish service..."
American Dad!
"Did you take me here so you wouldn't have to look at me?"
American Dad!
"Francine, please. The Torah is out of the ark. Show some respect."
American Dad!
"[Chanting In Hebrew]"
American Dad!
"[Sighs] A hundred and nine."
American Dad!
"A hundred and nine what?"
American Dad!
"- I want you out of this house! - No, you don't."
American Dad!
"Lift with your fat, ugly legs, not your fat, ugly back."
American Dad!
"I forgot my bathroom key. So you're here late."
American Dad!
"Yeah. I got to clean up after all those animals you folks blinded."
American Dad!
"- I could use a good laugh. My wife kicked me out. - Ooh."
American Dad!
"But I love her. I mean, she's my wife."
American Dad!
"'cause you know they miss you at first, but that wears off."
American Dad!
"[Screeching]"
American Dad!
"That stupid monkey!"
American Dad!
"Hello, Stan. I got your message."
American Dad!
"Oh, Francine, thank you for meeting me."
American Dad!
"Oh, Stan. You're meeting me in a public, well-lit place."
American Dad!
"- You're really trying. - I really am."
American Dad!
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